I've had two WL girlfriends, one is still current. The initial stages of my relationship with my first girlfriend were very difficult for me. Although I had met her as a client, I still suffered from that mainstream male reaction of territoriality ... which, given the circumstances, was just crazy. I nearly drove myself nuts before I found a good place, mentally, and accepted the reality of things.
Have you? Sure? I'm not being silly or inflammatory. I know you probably think you _should_ accept her work, but on the inside, where no-one can see but you, have you really accepted her work?
I had to face this one head on. My first WL girlfriend has actively and vigorously worked her business for 10 years. She's seen everything that can be seen and done everything that can be done. One cannot have _any_ stereotypical male insecurities when entering a relationship like this. Unfortunately, I wasn't free of many of these things and she helped me a lot to grow through some pretty personal stuff that turned out to be no more than left overs from my youth/growing up.
Yep. I still get these too. An uneasy feeling will spring up out of nowhere ... I'm not sure if its a weird form of jealousy or what it is, but it surprises me and isn't easy to deal with.
Yep, you probably are. I whined and wrung my hands and generally needled my first girl for ages. It was all based on insecurity. You have to get past it or your relationship with her won't work.
She knows what she does, you know what she does - whats to talk about? You want her to talk about how she feels about what she does? Fine, she probably will if you ask ... mostly the ladies are really strong and secure within themselves and if you really want the floodgates open, then you better strap on a pair (hehehe). But the ladies I've been involved with are not insensitive to how their chosen profession can affect the men they love, and so long as you don't make it a big deal they won't either.
Ahh, yes, the question we'd all like to know ... even when we're just punters, let alone in a relationship. Is this bang special? I'm not going to knock you, I've had these thoughts. It took an honest WL to look me right in the eye and tell me the truth of things to get past this as an issue.
My first WL girlfriend, the one referenced above, has been with thousands of different men, literally, thousands - I'm talking in the region of 5,000-8,000 or more and thats not even talking about the repeat customers, just _different_ men. She is as sweet and cute and fluffy as any other lovely girl you'll ever meet - but don't piss her off with nonsense talk about sex or relationships, let me tell you hehehehe.
As a guy I won't ever be able to get inside the head of a WL, or any lady, but my take is that work is work and love is love and they are not the same. If she'd seen 50 clients in the last week then theres a fair certainty she won't be initiating sex with me, but I certainly did get all the cuddles and giggles and everything else - she's just physically exhausted. If I was to give her a nudge she'd throw me a "freebie" so to speak. So, I'm thinking that during active working times you're much more likely to get the "pleasing the partner" thing. But its important to not take this the wrong way.
However, my experience has been that given a holiday from work, what you get is the real deal - all the WL's I've come to know well have been ladies who enjoy sex a great deal ... that may seem glib, but I was nevertheless somewhat surprised. In these circumstances I am inclined to think that yes indeed, relationship sex is quite different to 'work' sex. I was severely reprimanded by my girl for even going down this road with her - and she was right - it was simply nothing more than my own insecurity surfacing.
I have only a small clue what you mean here. The "missing out" but sounds like something different from jealousy. Sounds a bit like you are not getting as much sex in your relationship as you'd like?? Is that it?
Or is it that you feel that your loved lady has only a certain amount of sex 'cake', and that many other men are eating most of the slices?
You'd have to fill me in on the subtlety of your direction here for me to try and give an honest reply. For my guess, it sounds a bit like you are possibly being a really sensitive guy and don't want to overtax your lady in her 'off time' (or relationship time).
If I'm right with that last, get over it, and right now. I got the wedgy of my adult life by going down this road with my girl. I like what I consider to be a fair amount of sex and physical intimacy in my life. My marriage failed and to a large degree it was because of basic sexual incompatibility. So, I had trained myself, mentally, to not request much of my lady loves, which then leads to a certain continual undercurrent of physical frustration. My WL girlfriend called me out on this in a big way. Mate, WL's know men and are absolute experts and reading our body language. Don't think you can hide a single thing from your WL girlfriend.
Whilst ripping me a new one for being a complete fykewit about it, she told me straight up, that I'm a nice guy, which is why she's even with me. So I had to get that under my belt #1. #2 was that it was almost 100% certain that I couldn't sexually tax her in any meaningful way as one single man ... in other words, I'd run out of puff long before her. She had sex with me, a previous client but now boyfriend, because she loved me and wanted to have sex with me - if I wanted to fyke her 4 or even 6 times a day (her words, not mine, and no, I'm not up for it) she'd love it and its not a problem ...
Yikes! Cop that one Mr Zane
Want some proof? (yes, I had her fired up now, and was getting both barrels)
Doing me 6 times a day won't even hit the 50% mark of my heavy business days, but you're my boyfriend and I _want_ to have sex with you.
Good luck with your relationship - WL's are the best of breed, funny, strong, independent, free spirited - but you gotta leave most of the currently socially/politically correct relationship crap behind you, because its not how the world really works, its a fantasy ... once I clawed my way past this realisation a whole new 'free' level of fulfilment in life opened up before me. I'm trying to be less of a twat in my second WL relationship
