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Dating a working lady (Advice please)

I'm a punter through and through but to be perfectly honest if I was looking for a wife/GF/partner etc I'd rather she had no involvement in the sex industry.
 
colzilla said:
I'm a punter through and through but to be perfectly honest if I was looking for a wife/GF/partner etc I'd rather she had no involvement in the sex industry.
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True true..... Can't find a heart smart diet at Hungry Jack....
 
If I meet a nice woman in the real world. All I'm thinking is "Can't I just pay" to cut through all this other BS.
 
Oh wow Viv I can't believe how many idiot males there are with no idea of how to conduct themselves. I'm really sorry to hear that. I think most males are quite confused in how to conduct themselves around a lady and the industry just ads another layer of complexity for them.
I've lost pretty much everything due to divorce, house is going this week, yet I'm still having a goodbye dinner with my ex after the move - can't dwell on the negative. Just because you get divorced doesn't mean you can't be civilised. It was funny as we had our garage sale yesterday and the people we met kept telling us what a lovely couple we are! Relationships are crazy things :rolleyes:
 
Vivien@Langtrees said:
I'm hearing you Dallas.
I made the dating mistake again only days ago. A gentlemen asked me out on a date. I was very flattered and accepted the invitation.
BUT he was no gentleman. First date there were the sexual innuendo's. Then I received a text last night full of sexual innuendo again and his need for sexual pleasure.
He knows I work at Langtrees etc so I can only conclude that because I work in the sex industry sex is expected immediately. I liked this guy and wonder if he would have acted in this manner if I did not work in this industry.
Anyway it has only strengthen my thoughts on dating while in the sex industry. Oh and by the way this guy can go f... himself
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and it's assholes like this.. that ruin it for the rest of us who would like to meet a nice lady...
 
I agree Mr C, people assume that if you're splitting up there's going to be yelling and screaming.

I agree with you too Thatguy
 
The Punting Gods must be smiling on me.

Divorce wouldn't bring out the civility in me that's for sure.
 
It would have been better for my health if I had have screamed but that would have only either slowed the process or escalated it to Lawyers - although they came into it at the end, it could have been worse. Tip, the best way to protect against divorce is not to get married.
 
I only had a close friendship with an AMP WL and that turned out to be too hard.
Too much of a thinker and so you tend to start working out what has been taking place over a week/ month year etc.

Not easy to disregard.
 
Thanks for the link, it's a very informative article. I always wonder though, what advice there is for sex workers who date, and what they can do to make their partners feel more comfortable when jealously or insecurities occur. Are the partners just meant to accept it, and deal with it, or are there things that can be done to make them feel better.
 
cammando755 said:
Thanks for the link, it's a very informative article. I always wonder though, what advice there is for sex workers who date, and what they can do to make their partners feel more comfortable when jealously or insecurities occur. Are the partners just meant to accept it, and deal with it, or are there things that can be done to make them feel better.
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It is likely that they themselves are going through a world of pain and other challenges. Whether they are aware, unaware, or denying it. Despite best intentions they have a lot to deal with. So being considerate for a partner that is running this gauntlet can be too much for them at the best of times.
 
My pov might be a bit askew here, since I'm not a W/L but, I think that any relationship that involves essessive hard work in pandering to one partners insecurities is generally not healthy.

Either you're the kind of guy that's ok with it, or not. Not to say its not workable, or manageable in gaining insight, trust and laying found a good foundation... But there's also nothing wrong with saying, 'hey, I think our ideals are a little incompatible'.

People shouldn't have to compromise so much if it takes that much effort. *shrugs* ...just my 2c :)
 
Reading that magnificent article a couple of posts up gave me the greatest moment of clarity. I was once in a relationship with a WL.

I was guilty of all of the negative traits. From promisingit will be ok, all the way to the ugly end. As well as everything in between.

I wish to make nobody wrong anymore. I tried resolving the situation....void......

I tried resolving and completing with the other person to move on......void....

It is my attitude from within towards towards sex workers in this context I must resolve and overcome......that I will...


Thank you Desire83......that has to be the most valuable thing I read in this space so far.
 
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Desire83 said:
My pov might be a bit askew here, since I'm not a W/L but, I think that any relationship that involves essessive hard work in pandering to one partners insecurities is generally not healthy.

Either you're the kind of guy that's ok with it, or not. Not to say its not workable, or manageable in gaining insight, trust and laying found a good foundation... But there's also nothing wrong with saying, 'hey, I think our ideals are a little incompatible'.

People shouldn't have to compromise so much if it takes that much effort. *shrugs* ...just my 2c :)
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I agree to a certain extent, but what other job requires your partner to be so intimate on a regular basis with random men. If it didn't effect the partner in some way, I would have to question whether there was any real feelings for them, it has to have an effect on them.
Surely some understanding of how the partner is feeling about it, and taking some steps to make sure they are comfortable is not asking too much.

Many articles say about how the partner of the sex worker needs to do this, and act like this when dating a sex worker, it would be nice to see some advice and understanding from the other direction. Relationships are both ways, they require effort and compromise from both parties to succeed, I'm in no way saying that the sex worker needs to change anything, that's their job, it's what they have chosen do.
Love finds us in strange places and situations at times.
 
I can only share my opinion but any sex or relationship I have outside of 'work' is definitely more intimate and I enjoy it much more :)

I can understand how a man would feel uneasy with his partner being a W/L. I have toyed with the idea of having a relationship whilst working and the only way I think I could do it is if he was a working man. Maybe a bad idea? Are there many men in the industry?
 
Ahoy, have a chat with MissHolly;-- she is or was? involved with a working guy,
Cheers and Pass the Rum

MissPaige said:
I can only share my opinion but any sex or relationship I have outside of 'work' is definitely more intimate and I enjoy it much more :)

I can understand how a man would feel uneasy with his partner being a W/L. I have toyed with the idea of having a relationship whilst working and the only way I think I could do it is if he was a working man. Maybe a bad idea? Are there many men in the industry?
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Xtraman said:
I only had a close friendship with an AMP WL and that turned out to be too hard.
Too much of a thinker and so you tend to start working out what has been taking place over a week/ month year etc.

Not easy to disregard.
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You are right - its not easy to disregard if you're a bit of a thinker. I am that way inclined and I have to just push the thoughts aside.

As a 'thinker' and a businessman, a little while after I met my now partner, she told me what she made last year in the business... it was in the vicinity of a half million and she wasn't even working close to capacity .. just strolling along (as she put it) - of course in about 25 milliseconds my business brain worked out just how many customers that was .. yikes!

I'm at a point now though of really deeply thinking about where all this socialised fear and jealousy comes from ... that blog posted a dozen posts ago wasn't a bad read I recognised a lot of my own thoughts, both past and present in the writing.

Maybe I'll make a separate post on that - the jealously/fear/territoriality thing .. what exactly _is_ that and what it its basis? Is it a sexual performance anxiety? Or a fear that ones love will find 'a better man' ??? If so, its pretty ridiculous when you think about it - any lady thats been working more than about a week will have already seen some great lovers, and some really terrible ones, guys with big cocks and small, rich guys and poor, famous and ordinary ... if she's made a choice to be with you, out of all those other guys she's known then you'd think that pretty much all that male insecurity would be gone ... wouldn't you?

But no, for me at least, it still hovers around the fringes of my conscious and I can't help but wonder a little bit if its some sort of weird internal mental fight against social conditioning?
 
Wayne Kerr said:
That blog made for interesting reading... Reality is a bit different.
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I thought it was interesting. It wasn't a university research paper or anything, but as one would expect from a personal blog, its a personal perspective and I thought he elucidated some interesting thoughts.

In what way do you mean that "reality is a bit different"? Its a given that each of us approaches a relationship in a unique way, but do you feel the blog writer was off with the fairies in any particular way?
 
Wayne Kerr said:
There's always a better man.
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Yes, absolutely! I guess thats my point entirely. There is always someone more handsome, or richer, or in better shape, or a better lover, or with a bigger (or smaller) cock (depending on her own preferences of course)...or more ...whatever. And it cuts both ways, there is always women out there with 'more' of something that you (or most men) might find more desirable in a singular way. But relationships are always built on a combination of 'desirables' not singular ones.

Mind you, the tall fit handsome rich guy with a Phd in Kama Sutra has got to be watched out for I guess hehehehe.
 
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