Dating a working lady (Advice please)

[Kirra Bell]

Re: Dating a working lady

I am married and am a w/l.

The problem with answering your questions is that EVERY relationship is different and EVERY w/l is different.

I will tell you this though as a w/l and as a wife there are certain things I keep to myself so I don't offend my husband to cause insecurities.

My advice is to stop sounding like a broken record as you will cause a wedge between you two. Most days I am EXHAUSTED from all the sex and the last thing I want to do is have sex. Selfish??? Perhaps, but do you want to leave work to go home to work when all you want to do is have a shower and go to bed?

Relationship sex and client sex is different. Both are great! But the lust and love you have for your partner is incredible but so is a new hot experience!

I would also consider conselling together so you can hear her side of the story. But also counselling by yourself to get your head around it all can work wonders!

I myself am engaged to be married in January. And my partner wholly accepts what I do, he has said he does not care what I choose as my line of work, because he knows that as long as I'm happy that's what truly counts. Plus, at the end of my shift, I come home to him, he gets the real me every bit, warts and all. But yes, I enjoy having sex with him, in fact I'm the one forever annoying him to have sex, as I have a high sex drive. Also, sex with my fiance is different as I'm not needing to be on high alert and ensuring that a client isn't going to do something unsafe, or that I don't allow. I make love to him because there's the emotions attached that I don't have when with a client...
Everyone is different however, but that's my insight. Hope it helps you.

 

[Tania Admin]

I know lots of women, industry and non industry, who have had relationships with people they have met from work, clients and work mates. Sometimes the relationships work sometimes they don't, that's just life. If a man truly loves you and you love him and you want it to work, it will work. There are men in every walk of life who just want regular sex, whether or not they have ever been with a WL.
The underlying current of trust and understanding is the hardest part of a relationship with a WL, as she has heard it all. For the man in her life, he has to remember that she is with him in her soul and understanding the difference between her work and her love for him.

 

[Bluegrass9]

I am amused that a WL should be worried considering these days many ladies both married and single have a active sex life. I have known a number of ladies not WL who would have as their pastime to have a different guy each night.

 

[MrJwhite]

This is a great topic and affects all W/L's at some point.
I have been in the industry twice in my life and have returned after a 20year absence.
I am of the believe that relationships are a no go for me when I am working for the following reasons.
1/ I personally could not love or respect a man that would be ok with me working on my back
2/ When the relationship hits a rough patch. Being a W/L is the first thing that is thrown in your face.
3/ If you expect a monogamous relationship it has to be for both of you.
Suppose I am still an old fashion girl but I have never been good at picking the right guy anyway

So true, I tried for four years, I understood her job, but did not like it, I met some of her clients, which only made it worse. After a while she became very abusive, violent and paranoid. When I am with someone, there should be no one else, love is between two people, and no amount of money is worth losing real love. She told me after I expressed my thoughts and heart to heart she would give up. But sadly she lied, she often accused me of lying to ease her guilt, but when one is willing to lie, to family, to friends, to customers, to ones self. Time to end it. I still Care for her, but once a liar!?

 

[Barbosa]

Sex with someone you are in a relationship and have feelings for is so much better than someone or a client that you don't feel for. I have a girl friend that is a W/L and what makes it worse she is in another country. Open communication I found is the best. I am sure she does not tell me everything but we are very honest with each other at that helps.
Although these girls have sex for a job they still need love and a supportive partner.

 

[cammando755]

What do you think are some of the main things a working lady can do (who is in a relationship) to make her partner feel comfortable and happy with her form of employment.
Some men it doesn't effect them, others it does.
I'd love to hear what people think, thanks.

 

[SAO26.2]

What do you think are some of the main things a working lady can do (who is in a relationship) to make her partner feel comfortable and happy with her form of employment.
Some men it doesn't effect them, others it does.
I'd love to hear what people think, thanks.

Be honest. Completely honest. Answer all the questions, including number of clients, what the clients were like, how they made you feel. Describe what the other girls are like and how you relate to them.

Answer all questions and completely eliminate the mystery and uncertainty from your job. He will either be able to handle it or he won't - you can't control that. But the odds of success are lower if he feels you're hiding anything whatsoever.

This is what would work with me.