Women not interested in sex.

[hd1200]

Nope that's not the worse of it @hd1200, the worse is if she your first love asked you to take her back after 20+ years of Train wreak relationship trauma. with all the drama still chained to her life. She'll want you to come pick up the pieces with her, once settled she might cheat on you later on for another bad boy due to her subconscious nature.

 

[hd1200]

Nope that's not the worse of it @hd1200, the worse is if she your first love asked you to take her back after 20+ years of Train wreak relationship trauma. with all the drama still chained to her life. She'll want you to come pick up the pieces with her, once settled she might cheat on you later on for another bad boy due to her subconscious nature.

No chance of that now, too much water under the bridge and she has become bitter and angry woman.

 

[johnmatilda]

No chance of that now, too much water under the bridge and she has become bitter and angry woman.

As they usually do when the wall comes knocking.

 

[voyuerism]

You made a good point, but tracing back to the conversation, I think Johnmatilda said men pay the bills and fix stuff as if women do not contribute at all and his view of needing variety and can't eat fried rice everyday is somehow shocking to me. So here comes the question, what if their woman like to have sex with them, do men still prefer to see WLs as they provide some different taste to his sex life? I used to work at a massage parlour as receptionist and I see different men come visit the shop everyday, both young and old, even some really handsome young men, I can't help thinking what's wrong with men? Does visiting WLs turn your guys on more?

Did you ever think " I'd love to be spending the next hour with you Mr" ??

 

[LZZ]

Even if men listened to their wives, they will not get their needs met. Women don't respect men who don't respect themselves. Any man who "kneels" before a woman is seen as a pussy and she won't respect him.

Don't believe me? Then why do women lust after the bad boys who treat them like crap? Dexter isn't getting laid but will the one she runs to when she is ready to settle down.

There's a saying: nice guys finish last...and bad boys finish on her face!!

Did you ever think " I'd love to be spending the next hour with you Mr" ??

No

 

[humdinger]

If men could get their needs met at home, most men would not cheat. They would stay loyal to their wives or parrners. Men feel guilty when they cheat but rationalise cheating because their wives/partners are not meeting their needs.

If a man isn't in a committed relationship, he will have sex with as many women as he can. If a man needs to have his needs met outside the home, then the same will apply.

It is rare for a man who gets his all his needs met at home to cheat. But then again, it is rare for a man to get all his needs met at home.

Absolutely. Sex in my long term relationship is not existent. The only time that it happens (read gaps of at least 6 months to years) is when she wants it (with me...). I dote to her every need, financially and emotionally. I try to be present and I try to provide all she needs. I'm not always successful, but I try hard. If I try to initiate any form of sexual contact it is rejected. I'm left shattered and feeling rejected. I often think she is cheating on me, but have found no evidence of it yet. I can honestly say that if we were having sex more frequently, which in my mind helps with connection, then I would not visit WL at all. I feel guilty and ashamed of punting, and like other have said, I guess I justify it due to my needs not being met at home. For years and years its been like this, and yes on paper I should just leave. However with kids in the equation, been burnt with the whole divorce scenario before, unfair child support calculations, financial ruin, and getting to an age where I won't recover from doing it again. So I stay, just hoping things will change, but knowing that they won't. Eventually I'll probably just go, but not sure I'll survive that outcome.

 

[Senfam]

Absolutely. Sex in my long term relationship is not existent. The only time that it happens (read gaps of at least 6 months to years) is when she wants it (with me...). I dote to her every need, financially and emotionally. I try to be present and I try to provide all she needs. I'm not always successful, but I try hard. If I try to initiate any form of sexual contact it is rejected. I'm left shattered and feeling rejected. I often think she is cheating on me, but have found no evidence of it yet. I can honestly say that if we were having sex more frequently, which in my mind helps with connection, then I would not visit WL at all. I feel guilty and ashamed of punting, and like other have said, I guess I justify it due to my needs not being met at home. For years and years its been like this, and yes on paper I should just leave. However with kids in the equation, been burnt with the whole divorce scenario before, unfair child support calculations, financial ruin, and getting to an age where I won't recover from doing it again. So I stay, just hoping things will change, but knowing that they won't. Eventually I'll probably just go, but not sure I'll survive that outcome.

Wow that sounds exactly my situation , 12 years and counting, as we reach our senior years.

 

[hd1200]

Wow that sounds exactly my situation , 12 years and counting, as we reach our senior years.

Same here going on 40years now!
Use it or lose it!! No way WLs save the day!! Not supposed to rhyme.. but there you go.
Maybe we should start our own ‘AA’ or ‘AAA’
Aint getting Any Ass!!
Seriously, then register a website, and see how many women out there are in similar situations. Not wanting to leave but have unmet needs.
I dont expect a positive response from WLs and can understand that!
The idea of waiting around for things to change won’t happen! You cannot change others ~only yourself!
From my side.. Happy hunting, stay safe and play safe.

 

[johnmatilda]

The idea of waiting around for things to change won’t happen! You cannot change others ~only yourself!

I agree. Nothing will change. Don't ever change yourself for others because they won't change themselves for you. And the outcome? No change.

Happy hunting...I mean punting...be safe and don't get caught!

 

[hd1200]

I agree. Nothing will change. Don't ever change yourself for others because they won't change themselves for you. And the outcome? No change.

Happy hunting...I mean punting...be safe and don't get caught!

I agree with: “Dont change yourself…”
to a point! But not changing your own behaviour will simply enable continuation of the status quo!
So if you are NOTpunting, think about it

 

[johnmatilda]

I agree with: “Dont change yourself…”
to a point! But not changing your own behaviour will simply enable continuation of the status quo!
So if you are NOTpunting, think about it

There are many men in sexless marriages/relationships. I have learned that if a woman is not interested in sex out of her own volition then she is not not going to one day suddenly want sex from her partner (but she could from somebody else because it is new and exciting and gives them the tingles). In fact, the more you pursue it, the more they recoil from you. A different approach, whatever that is, is required.

You are likely (not guaranteed) to get more sex if:
1. You did not marry her and she knows she can be replaced without much ado
2. You haven't married her and she is competing with other women for your attention i.e. women are flirting with you
3. You won the lottery and have not married her and she needs to affix her position

I'm sure the above list can be expounded. Happy to hear of other suggestions.

Men break the status quo by cheating.

 

[John Smithl]

Have any men in a sexless relationships tried couples therapy?

The reason for asking is that apart from working towards a resolution within the existing relationship, there may be other options to explore as a couple, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM).

 

[johnmatilda]

Have any men in a sexless relationships tried couples therapy?

The reason for asking is that apart from working towards a resolution within the existing relationship, there may be other options to explore as a couple, such as ethical non-monogamy (ENM).

I know one couple who tried couple's counselling. The counsellor told them the marriage was not going to work as the wife would not budge in her views (brainwashed by social media and modern feminism). The wife was a controlling abusive b***h. The counsellor recommended the man get out and file for divorce. The counsellor was a woman.

Very few women would be willing to try ENM unless it also applied to them. They wants their cake and eats it too. The irony is that they won't have sex with their husband but are open to sex with other people. It's them tingles again.

 

[LZZ]

Was a bit surprised to hear the men side of the stories. Feel sorry about it. If women refuse to have sex or not interested in having sex with their partners at a younger age, that sounds terrible and not fair to their partners. If it happened at older age, I guess maybe that is how most women are built and they can't control it? But it really depends, my mum experienced menopause at her 40s and now she is at her 50s, seems she still has sexual need and too crazily seeking for my dad's attention.

Reading those stories, It seems like some men also want to establish a good long-term relationship, but the question is how a guy/ a girl who wants to a long-term good relationship (sex is part of it) get to meet the right person. I think there are a big number of women who are looking to find good men, but ending up being treated like shit. It is not we want bad men, it is just there are too many bad men out there, and you will alway run into them.

All in all, hopefully everyone gets what they needs and get satisfied and happy in their relationship.

 

[johnmatilda]

If it happened at older age, I guess maybe that is how most women are built and they can't control it?

This is why I tell other men to go for younger women who are no more than half the man's age. A 20 year old woman is hopefully going to have almost the same sex drive as a 40 year old man.

It seems like some men also want to establish a good long-term relationship,

We do and as you have pointed out, sex is a very important part of that bonding.

I think there are a big number of women who are looking to find good men, but ending up being treated like shit. It is not we want bad men, it is just there are too many bad men out there, and you will alway run into them.

I don't think that is true. There are many good men out there but less so than say 10-15 years ago. Women have shown that they are attracted to the bad boys (a survival mechanism from the stone age) so the good men have come to the correct conclusion that the way to attract a woman and get laid is to be a bad boy. You reaps what you sows.

In any case LZZ, I'm glad you have opened your eyes to the plight of men and the way men think. It is refreshing as it is rare.

 

[LZZ]

This is why I tell other men to go for younger women who are no more than half the man's age. A 20 year old woman is hopefully going to have almost the same sex drive as a 40 year old man.

We have a saying in my country; woman at their 30s are like wolves and at their 40s are like tigers when talking about their sexual need, but it probably drop when they reach let's say 50s.It certainly benefits the husband when he comes to 60 and she is still 40. Lol.

We do and as you have pointed out, sex is a very important part of that bonding.

I don't think that is true. There are many good men out there but less so than say 10-15 years ago. Women have shown that they are attracted to the bad boys (a survival mechanism from the stone age) so the good men have come to the correct conclusion that the way to attract a woman and get laid is to be a bad boy. You reaps what you sows.

Looking at all my Asian female friends , none of us seem to be interested in bad men. some are happily with good men, some are still looking as good men are too rare. In our country, women should be worried when they reach 25 and not married, so we certainly reach the age of needing to get married, but if we really like to get a bad guy, we wouldn't be single when we are at a suitable age for marriage. That is a lot pressure from family and friends.

Talking about my personal experience, if I don't sleep with my date, he would be like if we like each other why we couldn't have sex. If you sleep with him, he will treat you like a tool, like shit, there is no respect and no love. So I stopped using dating app, but then it is almost impossible to find a man at work and you certainly can't connect with a stranger man walking down the street. If there are good men, then where are they and where to find them?

In any case LZZ, I'm glad you have opened your eyes to the plight of men and the way men think. It is refreshing as it is rare.

 

[johnmatilda]

If there are good men, then where are they and where to find them?

I'm right here.

 

[johnmatilda]

some are still looking as good men are too rare

What do you or your friends define as a good man?

 

[LZZ]

I'm right here.

come on, you like variety

 

[LZZ]

What do you or your friends define as a good man?

I think my best's friend's bf is definitely a good man. He gives her lots of love, lots of attention, provides emotional value, feeds her well and even agree to no kids as she doesn't want kid (This beats 99% of men). He seems love her more than he loves himself. My friend always tells me how lucky she is to find a bf like that.

 

[mrys]

For some time the popular formula for the ideal age for a man's GF is half your age plus 7. Do the maths......it works!

 

[Master Yoda]

I think my best's friend's bf is definitely a good man. He gives her lots of love, lots of attention, provides emotional value, feeds her well and even agree to no kids as she doesn't want kid (This beats 99% of men). He seems love her more than he loves himself. My friend always tells me how lucky she is to find a bf like that.

Can’t say it’s easy or hard being a good man. If you know about me I was the worst punter before. I have been with my wife 10 years now and have not strayed even once. Life was great. Now it had its challenges. But I am committed to her, and I intent on giving my all to her. If we don’t work out one day then I have no regrets.

 

[LZZ]

I know one couple who tried couple's counselling. The counsellor told them the marriage was not going to work as the wife would not budge in her views (brainwashed by social media and modern feminism). The wife was a controlling abusive b***h. The counsellor recommended the man get out and file for divorce. The counsellor was a woman.

Very few women would be willing to try ENM unless it also applied to them. They wants their cake and eats it too. The irony is that they won't have sex with their husband but are open to sex with other people. It's them tingles again.

The fact is it is not fair if this ENM only applied to men, lol. This ENM can only trigger revenge feeling,

Can’t say it’s easy or hard being a good man. If you know about me I was the worst punter before. I have been with my wife 10 years now and have not strayed even once. Life was great. Now it had its challenges. But I am committed to her, and I intent on giving my all to her. If we don’t work out one day then I have no regrets.

what actually does punter and punting mean ?

 

[Master Yoda]

The fact is it is not fair if this ENM only applied to men, lol. This ENM can only trigger revenge feeling,

what actually does punter and punting mean ?

A man who pays for sex

 

[johnmatilda]

come on, you like variety

But for the right lady....

 

[johnmatilda]

I think my best's friend's bf is definitely a good man. He gives her lots of love, lots of attention, provides emotional value, feeds her well and even agree to no kids as she doesn't want kid (This beats 99% of men). He seems love her more than he loves himself. My friend always tells me how lucky she is to find a bf like that.

Most men already provide those things but it is not reciprocated by most women or appreciated. Some men have already commented in this post that despite all the things they do for their partners, it's a one way street.

There are however exceptions to every rule.

 

[johnmatilda]

For some time the popular formula for the ideal age for a man's GF is half your age plus 7. Do the maths......it works!

Better to just go half your age to be on the safe side! The older they are, the more you have to coax her libido!

 

[johnmatilda]

Can’t say it’s easy or hard being a good man. If you know about me I was the worst punter before. I have been with my wife 10 years now and have not strayed even once. Life was great. Now it had its challenges. But I am committed to her, and I intent on giving my all to her. If we don’t work out one day then I have no regrets.

If you are not getting any at home, you have great restraint Master Yoda! The force must be with you!

 

[naughtish]

Absolutely. Sex in my long term relationship is not existent. The only time that it happens (read gaps of at least 6 months to years) is when she wants it (with me...). I dote to her every need, financially and emotionally. I try to be present and I try to provide all she needs. I'm not always successful, but I try hard. If I try to initiate any form of sexual contact it is rejected. I'm left shattered and feeling rejected. I often think she is cheating on me, but have found no evidence of it yet. I can honestly say that if we were having sex more frequently, which in my mind helps with connection, then I would not visit WL at all. I feel guilty and ashamed of punting, and like other have said, I guess I justify it due to my needs not being met at home. For years and years its been like this, and yes on paper I should just leave. However with kids in the equation, been burnt with the whole divorce scenario before, unfair child support calculations, financial ruin, and getting to an age where I won't recover from doing it again. So I stay, just hoping things will change, but knowing that they won't. Eventually I'll probably just go, but not sure I'll survive that outcome.

Very similar to my situation too . Only difference is been married only for 5 years and no kids in the equation yet..

 

[johnmatilda]

Very similar to my situation too . Only difference is been married only for 5 years and no kids in the equation yet..

My advice. Don't have kids. It won't get any better from here. Have a discussion with her and lay down your expectations and needs from the marriage. If there is no improvement and if it's not going to cost you, I would bail if I were you.