What do you think of online dating?

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Spunkymunky

Hmmm my experiences with men have not really extended to much "common courtesy" so i am very new at this dating game business. He can offer to pay all he wants, most times i will still insist on going halves! Which is why we are gonna have to eat somewhere reeeeeeeeeeeally cheap hehe.
 
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azazel87

Spunky, Just out of curiosity, what site do you use for your net dating? I'm registered on RSVP at the moment, seems alright, but as I say, so far it's just been some minor meetings that haven't extended further than a purely physical thing. I've yet to meet someone off of a web dating site who can hold my interest in a conversation, but, being the eternal optimist that I am I'm going to keep searching ;)
 
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Spunkymunky

I used to use red hot pie but that was not a dating site (obviously) so i use RSVP as well. I have only chatted to a few guys off there and only met the one in person so far and i definetly dont think he is the one for me!

Spunky the eternal optimist will soldier on and is looking forward to the indignity of being set up by friends for the next two weekends.

BDSM L-plater? I love it!
 
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azazel87

I know that indignity all too well Spunky. My dear friends seem to think they know the kind of lady I like. Though I will admit they have come close on occasion, I'm still not one for the purely awkward setting of a blind date. not my thing I guess :)

And the BDSM L-Plater? Yeah, it's the truth I guess. I've just found my passion for it recently, and I'm currently busy learning as much as I can. No experiences though mind, Hence my L plate status haha.
 
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sumguy

Spunkymunky said:
Hmmm my experiences with men have not really extended to much "common courtesy" so i am very new at this dating game business. He can offer to pay all he wants, most times i will still insist on going halves! Which is why we are gonna have to eat somewhere reeeeeeeeeeeally cheap hehe.
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Well... maybe you should accept any, (reasonable), offer to pay.

I'm the same as you, but it can come across the wrong way when not accepting someone's hospitality. It makes people feel good when you accept any small goodwill gesture they make.

Unless you want to offer to pay for him...
:eek:ccasion1
 
CathyDomme

CathyDomme

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Spunkymunky said:
Hmmm my experiences with men have not really extended to much "common courtesy" so i am very new at this dating game business. He can offer to pay all he wants, most times i will still insist on going halves! Which is why we are gonna have to eat somewhere reeeeeeeeeeeally cheap hehe.
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If he is someone I think that there could be a future with, I will let him pay for the date.... BUT.... the next date is my treat. I don't like the 'halves' thing because it is a bit emasculating for many guys, but they don't seem to mind too much when I announce that the next time is my treat. I think that is a good way to deal with it. It preserves his sense of honour and it doesn't make me feel like I am being bought. Besides its an easy way to announce you are interested in seeing him again.

If I don't think it is going past the first date I insist on halves and head home with a clear conscience.
 
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azazel87

CathyDomme, That's a very fair and equitable system you have there. You're right about offering halves being a bit emasculating for us, Especially when we think that we're doing the right thing by offering to pay only to have our instincts contradicted straight away.

Saying that the next one is your treat will definitely perk up our ears, as we're always looking for clues that it's gone well enough to warrant a second date, only some of us aren't as good at picking up on the hints as others (myself included haha)
 
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Spunkymunky

I like that idea CathyDomme and i may have to pinch it for myself :) well the set up actually went pretty well.....so fingers crossed! My friends have been pretty chuffed since saturday and if it does turn into something i am NEVER going to hear the end of it lol.
 
CathyDomme

CathyDomme

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Spunkymunky said:
I like that idea CathyDomme and i may have to pinch it for myself :) well the set up actually went pretty well.....so fingers crossed! My friends have been pretty chuffed since saturday and if it does turn into something i am NEVER going to hear the end of it lol.
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Feel free to pinch it, after all I stole the idea from one of my friends and quickly discovered that it works wonderfully.

Great news about about Saturday. Feel like spilling any of the details?
 
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Spunkymunky

Weeeeeeeeell he was just a really nice, genuine guy. We talked for awhile and swapped numbers - i am thinking about asking him if he would like to come away this weekend as a whole group of friends are going to mandurah for a a mates birthday (it's apparently going to be an annual tradition now as this is the 2nd year in a row).

He was quite cute and managed to tolerate three of my best friends and i drunken dancing and playing singstar so if that didn't freak him out i dont know what will! I just got a good vibe - he is pretty quiet though.
 
CathyDomme

CathyDomme

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Spunkymunky said:
He was quite cute and managed to tolerate three of my best friends and i drunken dancing and playing singstar so if that didn't freak him out i dont know what will! I just got a good vibe - he is pretty quiet though.
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Sing Star? Oh my, I hope you can sing better than me! It wouldn't be hard to be able to sing better than me. Even hunchbacks run away when I start singing. :p

You gotta watch those quiet ones you know. Most of the quiet boys I have ever dated have turned out to be some of the most kinky.... which is why I actively hunt down quiet boys now! LOL

Hope everything goes well this weekend!!! ;)
 
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Spunkymunky

Oooooh kinky is good.....the last quiet boy i had a thing with was very inexperienced - but he'd read a lot of books and was extremely enthusiastic hehe heres hoping!
 
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Spunkymunky

Well i took my friends advice and acted like myself right from the word go. I think i am an okay person :) a little out there at times but cool. Apparently i am a bit to out there lol cos i was not the girl for him! Made a new friend though and he fixed my computer for free (always a bonus) so all is well in the world.

Well, all is well unless your me who feels kinda crummy right now cos i scared the guy i liked off!

Ho hum, back to online dating perhaps.
 
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sumguy

Spunkymunky said:
Well i took my friends advice and acted like myself right from the word go. I think i am an okay person :) a little out there at times but cool. Apparently i am a bit to out there lol cos i was not the girl for him! Made a new friend though and he fixed my computer for free (always a bonus) so all is well in the world.

Well, all is well unless your me who feels kinda crummy right now cos i scared the guy i liked off!

Ho hum, back to online dating perhaps.
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Tsk, tsk...all dating and human interaction requires some level of deceit.

That's what make-up and laughing at bad jokes are for. ;D

I'm sorry it didn't go your way.

Most people get sad because they end up with romantic notion in their heads about how wonderful the relationship would have been.

Kind of like thinking about the buzz you will get from buying a new car or new whatever, then after a few weeks of owning the thing, the reality comes home and you life is no better than it was before.

Sorry that is such a clumsy metaphor, I suppose what I am saying is don't miss what you never had :)

Since you are still in contact don't write it off yet - I'm sure he will realise what a FOOL he has been and come grovelling back!

Maybe the long distance put him off.

I would never tell someone not to be themselves - let's face it, it is going to come out in the end, but usually tone it down initially.

I'm sure you will find what you want in the end.
:cya:
 
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Spunkymunky

Thanks Sumguy - i think you have hit the nail on the head. Next time i will have to try and be more deceitful lol......nah i know what you mean, i am new to this whole dating thing and discovering it sucks A LOT!!
 
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sumguy

Spunkymunky said:
Thanks Sumguy - i think you have hit the nail on the head. Next time i will have to try and be more deceitful lol......nah i know what you mean, i am new to this whole dating thing and discovering it sucks A LOT!!
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I expect that is why so many guys just lie to get laid, (thinking they will stop lieing afterwards, when they meet "The One"). I know my older sister would give out false phone numbers to guys because she didn't want to tell them no - seems kind of cruel now.

It's quite disheartening to invest some emotion into the process and be dismissed so many times.

From what I have heard, about half of the married population met their partners at work.

One guy in another forum I read met someone online and got married.
Though it sounds mean of me to say, the engagement was so quick, and this guys personality was such, I can't help thinking he decided it was his only chance, (came across as extremely unpleasant, opinionated, and belligerent). He cheered up for a bit then reverted to his old self. ::)

If I knew the secret to successful dating I would use it myself! :dontknow:

Perhaps it is best to go in not expecting a lot, then anything above that will be a bonus. :icon_thum

Cheers.
 
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Spunkymunky

sumguy said:
Perhaps it is best to go in not expecting a lot, then anything above that will be a bonus. :icon_thum

Cheers.
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I guess i am trying to be optimisitc lol.....people keep telling me that teachers marry other teachers. So my question is where the bloody hell are all the nice, single teachers??
 
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sumguy

Yeah, I've noticed that teachers seem to come in pairs. :)

In all honesty it's a numbers game. If you play lotto long enough your numbers will come up, so dating is similar, it just requires you meet enough men, (or women?), and one will match, (all things being equal). :love3:

I wasn't suggesting you not be optimistic, I just wouldn't approach each date as though, "this is the one..!".

A bit like playing goal attack in netball - if you over think it you can ruin your shot.
 
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Spunkymunky

Hmmmm good plan i will keep that in mind tonight for "set up number three". I am sure my friends are just trying to help......the set up guys have been nice guys so far :) although at the moment i am in a house with two married people who are fighting A LOT and i am pretty glad i'm single!
 
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sumguy

Hope it went well.

Maybe your friends are the problem lol...
These guys are acquaintances of your friends and not from other sources?

Get some headphones to drown out the couple. :boxing: Dreadful situation though, as couples tend to take over a household.:ky:
 
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Spunkymunky

Yeah it is their house though!

They are all friends of friends and are a pretty wide assortment of personalities from the shy, quiet type to the extremely extroverted. I am building up a handy collection of male friends from the whole process though hehe.

It went okay - guy seems really nice. Right now i am focussing on work rather than my social life for a week or two because i fucked up royally last week and got a formal warning. Whoops. So no boys allowed!
 
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Spunkymunky

Well an update on the online thing!!

I have been talking to a few guys online but havn't met up with any of them yet. I am looking at country guys at the moment :) seeing as i plan to be out here for awhile.

Umm the being set up by friends thing has failed miserably which is probably not a bad thing, none of the guys were very well suited. One was far to quiet for me and the other was an asshole and i have had enough of those thankyou very much.

So a basic summary of things at the moment for me is.....erm.....sexually frustrated and very chatty?

Hmmm that aint so good.
 
beebs

beebs

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hi spunky, hi haven't read the full thread so u have probably said already but at the risk of making u repeat u'relf, what on-line dating sites are u using?
 
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Link83

Hey Spunkymunky,
Last time I wrote to you, you were marking asginments (I think) and I was doing my kids' assingmnet. So how did you go?
I finished my kids' assignment, and then they read it, and picked out all my spelling errors and they said it was toooo lloooonngg! But we had to hand it in because the teacher was getting a bit narky (cracking the whip). LOL You teachers can be really tough...hehehe

Sexually frustrated? That makes two of us. What are you doin all the way over there? You're in the wrong state!
 
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Spunkymunky

I am still marking but it is different assignments. I was pretty impressed with the latest lot cos i got fed up with reading parents work (my parents are careful to edit out their spelling mistakes lol) so i gave them a practical design one to do and they did awesome creating chinese gardens. Made me look like an awesome teacher haha which is always nice coming up to staff appraisal time.

Yes we are nazi's who love control :)

And no - you're in the wrong state!!
 
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Link83

I have a standing invitation to visit some people for work over your way. All I have to do is find the airfare! Maybe we could chat and defrustrate ourselves?

I just read through your thread. Yes, the whole singles thing terrifies me as well. But at least you dance. Unfortunately, when I drink all I want to do is fall asleep.

So when I come over to Perth, we could do lunch? But not to much to drink so that I don't doze off LOL
What is your favorite thing to chat about? I will brush up ;-)
 
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Spunkymunky

Me dancing is not really a good thing. I think the term "spastic jackrabbit" has been used more than once in reference to it lol. Ummm i chat about everything! I jsut get excited to talk to people - doesnt happen much out here.
 
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