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What do you think of online dating?

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stormline

hi spunky,yeah i have tried it with not alot of sucsess,lots of different sites.i have had more mfm3somes than anything else(strait)as advertised for a single lady or couple..since i am 50 it does make it harder,ive been told i dont look that old many times (not being vein).have long hair and used to surf so i guess not many ladies like guys with long hair these days or your put in a catergory.the single ladies i have dated turned out to be nothing like they stated,but still went out for a meal and chat and paid for the nite,though i should of said sorry you are nothing like you described and left it at that.i have had plenty of flirts from rhp from ladies much younger but im not sure how true that site is.when i decided to become a paid member alot of the flirts i got i sent a msg to and got about a 20% reply with not much results.one other site i am on i met a girl i do know who hotlisted me but nothing ever come of it as we have been to bed together but she has a b/friend or did so i left it alone even though i really like her.so i find it can be very complicating,there are as many girls who are not what they say just as guys.is it really that hard to meet someone who is honest ,d.t.e. doesnt have to be a glamor but i prefer petite ladies as im no muscle man but stil fit with ok body.no disrespect to larger ladies at all just my preference,see that may also be an issue for the ladies that i am only slim built,but have been told my body is in poportion for my size if you get my drift.so since im not one for clubing or pubing very much these days yes i find it dificult.i dont think i ask for to much,then theres sites where i have got heaps of really hot woman reply to me but if you dont pay you cant even read there emails,like fling.com....so i very much wonder how true these sites are...so at the end of the day if im really in the mood ijust see a w/l.i have seen some very very nice w/ls.two that especially come to mind,one i use to see weekly for 2hours for nearly a year and had some insane sex,the other was probably longer but not as often,same deal with the sex.yes the first one we ended up getting to close,the other ended up with a younger guy,she was about 12yrs younger(well they both were the first even younger) than me so that was understandable,i often wonder if she did ever marry the guy as he said they were going to...hope it all worked out for her.so when you get to my age you really have to weigh up is it really worth going out with someone on a date that can easily cost you at least a hundred dollars or more or go see a w/l.as if you go to some of the better places you know the girls are clean,have protection and you can have some great times and very memorable sex,but you still end up alone in bed.so thats the thing is it really worth getting into another relatinship or staying single.??i have had 3 long term relationships in my life with the last being the best,even though we ended up splitting up a couple of years bac we still were best of friends and shared the house,the only rule we lived by we wouldnt bring anybody else home to bed in front of each other.we both kept that promise,but now she has past on only in the last few weeks and yes i do miss her so much.she had a drinking problem and got to her in the end,50 is pretty young to die but i have to still carry on and it makes being lonely even harder,as i said we were still great mates.so where the next chapter of my life takes me who knows,is there the girl i am looking for out there?im not sure but one thing i have learnt i am not going to meet her sitting at home hoping she jumps out of my computer,i just cant see that happening but wish it was that easy.so if i want to have a chance of not being lonely i guess i have to get up off my arse and get out and try....sorry for rambling on......
 
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Larry83

Wow great post stormline. At least your out there giving it a go and trying, and i really do think you will meet someone just takes time. My father did it for awhile and would always say to me the people he met didnt match their profile. But after quite a few months he decided to go through an agency and 3 months later he ended up with the lady he married. And he was always crying and upset and wondered if he would ever find someone. The only thing i want to add is he now has forgotten about his family and wont speak to us at all. So if you do get in a relationship dont forget your family or the people who have helped support you.
 
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stormline

thnx larry,no i never have forgot my family,only thing is i have 5 sons and can ony connect with 3 as the other 2 are from someone else and we lost contact years ago,they are all over east but only talked to my oldest son the other day he is 32..i guess the only regret i have is i do have a sister in perth but we dont talk to each other,her choice so thats how i leave it,its been nearly 15years since we talked,how time goes by so quick..
 
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Spunkymunky

Hi Link long time no chat :) sounds like your weekend was very up and down! In my years of wisdom (lol) i have learnt if i cant act like myself then the guy i am trying to impress is not for me. So the guy i ended up with on the weekend is cute, fun etc BUT there are fundamental parts of me and my personality he just doesn't like (my sense of humour, loudness, willing to speak my mind on everything, relative intelligence) and as a result i wouldn't want to date him, and we only ever end up in bed when we are drunk/tipsy (he much prefers skinny girls....although i did get told at least i move in bed unlike the last waif hehe). I guess what i mean is if you told stories and she got offended how much would you have had to censor you're conversation in future? I have nothing to say about the daughter issue hehe i dont see my dad often and when i do our conversations are very limited. Probably the most embarassing thing we ever went through was when i snuck out at age 14 and was sneaking back in fully dressed at 5am on a school morning and he got up to pee and ran into me buck naked. He was so embarassed he never did ask why i was coming in fully dressed rather than heading out! She will be able to laugh about it in the future :)

Stormline i commend you on putting yourself out there! When you have been in a relationship/living with someone and you are older and they leave or pass away it is very difficult to meet new people. I know i am only a young 'un but my mum only met one guy in the ten years after my dad left and that didn't end well at all (bloody interent dating haha). She had very limited friends and social networks as well and her life was a very lonely one, that's one of the reasons i stayed in an unhappy relationship for so long - i get scared of being alone. I still dont like it much! As for the family thing, if they choose not to associate with you it is their choice an all you can do is focus on the good people in your life. I have limited contact with my family and it usually ends up with me being told i am too smart and too fat.....so i chose to replace my family with close friends and others. I work hard on telling myself it is their loss as i am an awesome person.

Wow this was a long post, i am off work sick today and sitting at home feeling very sorry for myself! Back to bed soon i think.
 
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flange gasket

Lol emotional retards? Thats a nice a nice way of putting it. I think I have the same problem.... mainly with girls who are way too bi-polar for my liking. It seems that a down to Earth girl is getting hard to come by.

I know the feeling kevin. I keep choosing women who turn out to be bi-polar or BPD or whatever other issue they have. I always give them a chance though as I know I'm not perfect.

The thing that drives me nuts is when it doesn't work out, the "all men are arseholes/idiots/afraid of commitment" thing gets thrown around or as spunkymunky put it "argh, men".

It's a two way street and you cant expect a guy to want to commit and do the "right thing" if you drive him up the wall.
 
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Link83

Hey Flange_Gasket, I have been caught up in this BPD (or whatever it is) thing as well. You meet a nice looking lady, you go on dates, and she seems to be perfect. Then after a while, she starts to turn on you. And you wonder, "what the hell did I do to ask for that?" Turns out, she has a therapist and has been undergoing counselling, psychiatric treatment, the whole works, for years. Not that I have a problem with that, I'm not perfect either. But when they don't want to include you into their therapy thing, then you know that they are probably not the lady for you. Not that I want to go and listen to all the detail of the abuse they suffered, but rather if they don't want you to be a part of their healing process, then they are probably not ready for a really close relationship. Only if they let you in, can it become close. But it will be three ways, you, the lady and the therapist. For a while anyway. Otherwise it just won't work in the long run, at least that has been my experience more than once.

I still haven't found the perfect woman with no issues, or the one with issues that wants to include me. When I find her, I'll let you all know, but only after she is mine :)
 
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BlackDagger_Au

Re: The love of my life

Bratty here you are I've been scouring the internet looking for you, and baby the love of your life is here! Why haven't u returned my calls?? I've been wondering where we went wrong... Was it my incessant whingeing on how fat my butt looks in every single outfit I tried on? Or the fact that I banged all of your mates at your 21st?? I know that you're the one for me and I really need you tonight to hold me tight and make it right, don't start a fight, cos my pussy's nice n tight, and we all know that you guys will put up with just about anything for the promise of a tight puss Lol Cuckoo meow cuckoo meow... Call me
;-) Meow x PS where did u hide the fruit loops?:love10::love10::love10::love10:

LOL

All this tight pussy talk

So funny

cya
 
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Spunkymunky

Haha just ignore us making fun of Bratboy.....it's a loooooong and complicated story! I am back in the game with the online dating thing and giving oasis active a go so heres hoping. I have a male friend (very shy) who's trying it as well so he is going to let me know the male point of view on it all.

I dont think all men are dickheads or emotional retards, it's not a trait thats restricted to men in any way! I know plenty of people who fit the category and these are the people who are supposed to be my friends.

If i ever went go to therapy.....i promise to include you all :)
 
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kevin

Funnily enough I think I've reached a point where I'm content not being in a relationship. I'm happy just to meet cool new people in life and take it all as it comes. The way I see it is you can still get all your emotional support from your close mates and meet that casual girl every few weeks for your physical needs. Then you get the best of both worlds!

What's really spinning me out is this will most likely be my first Valentine's without a girl!!!..... And I'm not even feeling too bad about it all! I do secretly hope someone sends me something though... I usually get a few flowers from fillies. :D
 
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Spunkymunky

Im coming up to a 3rd valentines day without a bloke now....meh. I will probably baysit my friends kids so she can go be all lovey dovey with her husband! I miss the cuddles and affection from a relationship but i dont miss the fighting....i look at some of my friends who are young (22 - 24) and married and they fight a lot. Yes they love eachother, get regular sex and all that stuff but right now i quite enjoy being able to do what i want, when i want and not justify it to anyone.

I do have to be careful though cos i caught myself considering trying to be snuggly with a male friend the other day and the poor bugger probably would have gone through the roof if i had tried lol.
 
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kevin

Lol. Did the same thing Sat night with the ex's bestie. Not good not good. Lol I guess not having to answer to anyone is alright if you've got lots of bad habits :p Hows the search for a man going? You could always go on a dating show like the bachelorette or the farmer wants a wife. Yep Yep.
 
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Link83

Hey Spunky, you talk like the fighting is an unavoidable part of living with someone. Do you think that's always the case? Why is it I can spend ten years in the office working with the same people everyday, more time than I will spend with a live-in partner, and have disagreements, but no actual "fights". And yet when I move in with a woman two weeks into it, we can have the hugest row?

Sorry Spunky, but it has just been my experience that the women I have encountered don't seem to stick to arguing the facts. There is all this other stuff seems to get in the way, unclear thinking, and distortions.

So I am sort of wary of going into the internet dating thing, only because I expect that just about every woman on those sites will also be carrying out-of-control baggage.
 
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Spunkymunky

Hahaha i have to agree Link although i think most people have a lot of baggage. I could possibly be classified as one of those :p i've found that fighting is unavoidable but there are different levels of it. I think the difference is when you live with some it's more close, you share intimate things and there's emotions which obviously you dont have to consider with a co-worker. Fighting isn't a bad thing with your other half as long as it's not the kind of fight where you try and hurt eachother - that's the time to walk away i think.

I'm not pretty enough for a dating show :) but it's a good idea!

I met a guy online a little while ago, he lives in my town we got to chatting and he seemed very nice. Had arranged to meet him when i go home next week.....only to get a phone call today that he got sacked from work, arrested and then both his girlfriends showed up to bail him out and started fighting cos they didn't know about eachother!!
 
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Spunkymunky

P.S. women are the absolute champions of unclear arguments and fact distortion....it's what makes us so unique lol
 
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kevin

Lol avoid all "Does my bum look big in this?" discussions with a 50ft pole. There is no right answer!

To be fair I do believe there are good girls on internet sites. Just hard to come by. Baggage comes with every person. It's what makes each person but I find anyone with emotional baggage beyond the norm simply isn't mature enough to have a serious relationship. If you're not willing to forgive, not be possessive, never give up, share everything...... why even bother.
 
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kelth73

My sis in law in into the whole Internet dating and everything. Every guy she meets is exactly the same. She reackons it great if you need a shag or two or three. She hasn't found anyone that she said that she wouldn't want to spend the whole of her life with.

I see it as at least your doing something, getting out there in some way or shape. Just enjoy the ride!!!
 

fifoboy

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Probably like the rest of us she's just out there, thinking about hitting the link in her bookmarks, wondering if it will load or not.
 
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