GROUP THERAPY: Is it cheating if your husband gets a happy ending massage? Read more at http://www.m

Rachy

Rachy

Rachael Canberra
Gold Member
Points
0
So i read this on a social media site and i was interested to see everyone's thoughts...... do you think its cheating?


I just found out my partner of eight years has been visiting a massage lady for the past two years, every couple of months. He told me she was a genuine legitimate massage person and the first time he got just a massage. The next time she offered him a happy ending for an extra charge and then was doing them topless after that.

I found this out by checking his phone and was horrified and have since split with him. But after talking to others apparently this is quite common and a lot of men don’t count it as cheating?

I was wondering what other readers would think about this because I have had mixed reactions from both men and women about it. Apparently for some men it’s just like us women getting our hair done and lots of men out there are doing this.


Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/is-a-happy-ending-cheating/#6CpAchtlCFhPiUpb.99
 
svengali

svengali

Foundation Member
Points
1
As someone said when Bill Clinton's indiscretions were news "Any dealings below the belt with someone else is cheating."

Another good test is to put the shoe on the other foot and ask him if he would mind his missus getting her rocks off with someone else.
 
Rachy

Rachy

Rachael Canberra
Gold Member
Points
0
svengali said:
As someone said when Bill Clinton's indiscretions were news "Any dealings below the belt with someone else is cheating."

Another good test is to put the shoe on the other foot and ask him if he would mind his missus getting her rocks off with someone else.
Click to expand...


Agree,

i think it is cheating
 
peart

peart

Gold Member
Points
0
Yes, definitely cheating. He was getting sexual relief (hand job) and getting turned on (topless massage).
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
rachy said:
Agree,

i think it is cheating
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Bending the rules, saving a relationship, emotional stability.....and there's more alternatives to the hard and cut idea of 'cheating'. Are they valid alternatives? Some may say yes and others no. I know where I stand.
 
XLNC

XLNC

Whatever happened to FREE love?
Legend Member
Points
0
Yes, it is a form of cheating, albeit of a lesser grade than a full-on affair, in my book.

But perhaps she should also be asking (herself) why he felt the need to keep seeing the masseuse for this service. And whether 'checking his phone' is the sort of behaviour that may have caused him to start looking further afield...
 
Rachy

Rachy

Rachael Canberra
Gold Member
Points
0
whats the problem with "checking " your partner's phone?? i can understand if its a newish relationship but if your married i think you should be able to go into your partner's phone,,,, i go into my husbands and vice versa and its not because were looking for anything it's because we can i guess. Perhaps they both had a role to play in why he ended up heading to a parlor to get his happy ending BUT its the lack of communication that killed this relationship.... you have to be honest and perhaps if they were with each other they could of worked something out..... thats just my opinion anyways :)
 
Dallas

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
rachy said:
whats the problem with "checking " your partner's phone?? i can understand if its a newish relationship but if your married i think you should be able to go into your partner's phone,,,, i go into my husbands and vice versa and its not because were looking for anything it's because we can i guess. Perhaps they both had a role to play in why he ended up heading to a parlor to get his happy ending BUT its the lack of communication that killed this relationship.... you have to be honest and perhaps if they were with each other they could of worked something out..... thats just my opinion anyways :)
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I totally agree! Whenever I'm in a relationship, from day one when we are together, my phone and my computer are always open, I never use them alone or have them locked and I never take any call privately unless she tells me to.

I also think that the happy ending with the massage is DEFINITELY cheating. The way to test that is to book a double massage with your partner and while she's laying next to you getting a regular massage, see how she reacts to your "happy ending", my guess is the relationship would quickly have a "not so happy ending".
 
AxeMan

AxeMan

Diamond Member
Points
0
Unless it was discussed and agreed that he could do it then yes it is cheating. The fact that lots of men do it doesn't change the fact that it is cheating. It just means lots of men are cheats :)
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
It's an interesting concept, cheating (and good question rachy). I guess you can't really dress it up....cheating is cheating. So, perhaps a question should be, is cheating permissible under certain relationship circumstances? Even after communication (and one can never underestimate the power of that variable) has been exhausted. As an aside, is privacy permissible in a relationship? My partner does not have free access to my computer or mobile and I don't with hers. It's just the wY it is between us. Perhaps the claims and feelings I have are a form of cheating on my inner self ?? I know I could argue in the affirmative for what I do and others could shoot me down in flames. By the way, I've never cheated in cards :) if that's any saving grace :)
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
Pepper said:
Its cheating but 8 years is a long time though. I think its unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill you sexually forever. They're probably better off without one another because they have no trust in their relationship.
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Agreed. However, it's not easy to leave after having indicated you are going to when one's partner pleads for you to stay (though admittedly is unaware of your indiscretions....much kinder word than cheating ).
 
funflyer

funflyer

Foundation Member
Points
0
Biologically men were never designed or made to be monogamous. Under the laws of human nature it is the it is the role of males to spread their seed is as far as possible to ensure the continuance of the species. To expect us to do otherwise is trying to make us fight against our most basic of male desires. I think the concept of marriage was thought up by females and after trying it a couple of times I'm glad to be a lone wolf again so I can do what I want to (within legal boundaries of course), when I want to, without even having to worry about if it is right or not or if I am cheating on someone!
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
funflyer said:
Biologically men were never designed or made to be monogamous. Under the laws of human nature it is the it is the role of males to spread their seed is as far as possible to ensure the continuance of the species. To expect us to do otherwise is trying to make us fight against our most basic of male desires. I think the concept of marriage was thought up by females and after trying it a couple of times I'm glad to be a lone wolf again so I can do what I want to (within legal boundaries of course), when I want to, without even having to worry about if it is right or not or if I am cheating on someone!
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I've tried it once....still in it....:-( and got some brilliant daughters from it (so no regrets there). Post teenage daughters.....well, you could stuff me up a dead dingoes bum and I'd be happier!!
 
Maria

Maria

Classy sassy and a little bit Assy
Gold Member
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0
I personally don't see it as cheating but I am a lot more open minded about these situations. Keep in mind people that many woman believe if their man goes to the strippers he is also cheating. So really it comes down to each individuals perceptions of the definition "cheating"

Btw pretty sure a mistress would cost a lot more then a massage lady. And to be fair if it wasn't full service so who really cares to much. And a relationship still needs to allow for private time for ones self so I don't agree with the looking through people's phones as if the trust was there then the phone shouldn't even be thought of lol
 
Buk

Buk

Diamond Member
Points
0
Maria said:
I personally don't see it as cheating but I am a lot more open minded about these situations. Keep in mind people that many woman believe if their man goes to the strippers he is also cheating. So really it comes down to each individuals perceptions of the definition "cheating"

Btw pretty sure a mistress would cost a lot more then a massage lady. And to be fair if it wasn't full service so who really cares to much. And a relationship still needs to allow for private time for ones self so I don't agree with the looking through people's phones as if the trust was there then the phone shouldn't even be thought of lol
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I like your thinking :)
 
J

Jamie Kurtis-Fox

We are such a diverse species, Man & Woman, back in Primate life, there were no rules.

Trust is important for sure, If you both have an understanding and respect that, then what can go wrong...

The only time situations turn bad is when there are: Lies

We are free beings and born to explore this world as long as your Values and Morals stand true

Jamie

xx
 
funflyer

funflyer

Foundation Member
Points
0
Buk said:
I've tried it once....still in it....:-( and got some brilliant daughters from it (so no regrets there). Post teenage daughters.....well, you could stuff me up a dead dingoes bum and I'd be happier!!
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I've got 5 great offspring from my marriages, who are the joy of my life. Certainly no regrets there. Those days of creation are past for me now as I've recently had the big V. No more seed to spread but I can send off seminal fluid with abandon, just as mother nature intended!
 
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HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
1,113
Ahoy Very True Homer.........................I do see everyone viewpoint.
But, I will stand up for the Guy................."after all he is a DumB Guy, your average Joe"
Soooooooooooooooo Give the Poor Bugger a Second Chance

homer said:
Hallelujah....lordy lordy God may just give you a gold star for the forgiveness your showing...butt not everyone would agree with you tho...
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homer

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
Hallelujah brother HP! HalleF-ingLujah!! We're all sinners from the moment we were born, you causing heaps of physical pain to your mama when you slither your way out of her love tunnel...by goddd she forgave you but not forgotten...oh lordy lordy jeeeeeeezussss forgives you. Hallelujah! Brother, HalleF-ingLujah!!
 
Jaylily

Jaylily

Gold Member
Points
0
rachy said:
So i read this on a social media site and i was interested to see everyone's thoughts...... do you think its cheating?


I just found out my partner of eight years has been visiting a massage lady for the past two years, every couple of months. He told me she was a genuine legitimate massage person and the first time he got just a massage. The next time she offered him a happy ending for an extra charge and then was doing them topless after that.

I found this out by checking his phone and was horrified and have since split with him. But after talking to others apparently this is quite common and a lot of men don’t count it as cheating?

I was wondering what other readers would think about this because I have had mixed reactions from both men and women about it. Apparently for some men it’s just like us women getting our hair done and lots of men out there are doing this.


Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/is-a-happy-ending-cheating/#6CpAchtlCFhPiUpb.99
Click to expand...

I personally dont have a problem with it, but that is me. But something is lacking in the relationship if he is going there.
 
Polkam

Polkam

Gold Member
Points
0
Buk said:
It's an interesting concept, cheating (and good question rachy). I guess you can't really dress it up....cheating is cheating. So, perhaps a question should be, is cheating permissible under certain relationship circumstances? Even after communication (and one can never underestimate the power of that variable) has been exhausted. As an aside, is privacy permissible in a relationship? My partner does not have free access to my computer or mobile and I don't with hers. It's just the wY it is between us. Perhaps the claims and feelings I have are a form of cheating on my inner self ?? I know I could argue in the affirmative for what I do and others could shoot me down in flames. By the way, I've never cheated in cards :) if that's any saving grace :)
Click to expand...

Who invented words? It is a mystery to me that Babylon (Babble on) was the promised land. I also completely understand _ _ _'s wrath in that metaphorical tale, The Tower of Babel.
 
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