Depression......

[Lord Spikey]

Thanks Spikey, I sometimes feel like I'm in space and nobody can hear me scream. I'm surrounded by people who are constantly physically interacting with others and take it for granted, then wonder why I desperately need to see a working lady. They say oh, go home and enjoy being single.. while they hug their partner or their kids or their clients.

You're right that we don't understand enough about the importance of physical intimacy. I remember reading a study on babies in an orphanage in India and their survival rate was increased exponentially when they were hugged regularly. I don't believe you grow out of that need. I sure haven't.

I read somewhere, recently, that a healthy hug is one which is honest and last at least 20 seconds. Anything less and the recipient doesn't register it as being real. I guess it takes us that long to believe it.

 

[Xtraman]

Hi
how's about we make a sticky with this thread so that people can post in when/if they are feeling down so we can all contribute to bringing them back.

 

[Smoggy]

In my late teens I went through a real bad period and kept it to myself. It reached the point where life was almost not worth living. I worked my way through it and although the frequency of events have diminished significantly over the years they still occur especially when I am chronically tired. Last year I went through such a period and was talking to my Doctor about how I was feeling and the number of hours I was working. He said "you shouldn't go chasing the dollar". Are you fucking serious I said as I was so angry. I'm a determined individual but it stuck me immediately that a comment like that would send somebody more vulnerable over the edge. For somebody in the medical profession to have an attitude like that is totally unacceptable and would leave that person open to litigation. I have since changed Doctors but I am still angry about it.

 

[Obbie]

Only problem when I'm down I just about block every one out for a couple of days then sort it out my way or try not to show it even on here I've been at rock bottom but some of the banter on here makes my smile for a bit then it slowly gets better there are some very funny guys on here also all of you are all genuine people in my book and I thank you all for that

 

[Master Yoda]

There are plenty of legitimate reasons and medical research to back up and label many facets of depression.

However, in my experience people who are depressed are often caught up in the state and in a strange way addicted to it, they hate it but it has become habit. The shallow breathing, the hunched shoulders, the drooping facial muscles, etc.

I am not suggesting a cure here, but try this one on for size.

Pull your shoulders back and spread your arms, look up and have an ear to ear grin..

When you change your state to one that comes from a state of ultimate joy. Imagine hugging a supermodel after finding out you won lotto. In that physical state it is impossible to feel depressed. Try it... Changing your state to change you emotions is something that is available all the time.

If people were to practice owning this state as much as the states where we complain about life and things going wrong. Life would never be the same again.

 

[Rochelle]

Had it really bad around 3 1/2 years back tryed to top myself a couple of times but I'm still here I do still suffer from it now and then but life goes on and things like this forum in a strange way does help me out sometimes cheers for that

I am happy you are still around, Obbie, and I do hope you stay with us for a lot longer.........what would the forum be without you??????? don't want to think about it......

Easier said than done, Yoda, as I said I haven't experienced it myself but the people I came across need more than an adjustment of posture.
Depression is a serious and sometimes fatal condition and should be treated as such. It is easy to think as an not depressed person "pull yourself together and get through it".........unfortunately it is not that simple and people with the condition don't have the same coping mechanisms than not depressed people have got. Going through a tough time and feeling washed out can't compare to depression.

 

[Obbie]

Thank you Rochelle can't get rid of me that easy anymore most days are good but some days are shit a lot depends on what triggers it off at the moment for me it's missing my children and the ex sure knows how to get at me 26 years of marriage she should do

 

[asianguy77]

Thanks for everyone sharing their stories. Makes, it feel people going through depression, that they are not alone. Depression, unfortunately is very common and has no boundaries. I believe, sometimes, sharing as what the members of this forum have done, provides release, as some may not have the opportunity to share what they are going through with any other people.

 

[honestman]

I am not suggesting a cure here, but try this one on for size.

Pull your shoulders back and spread your arms, look up and have an ear to ear grin..

When you change your state to one that comes from a state of ultimate joy. Imagine hugging a supermodel after finding out you won lotto. In that physical state it is impossible to feel depressed. Try it... Changing your state to change you emotions is something that is available all the time.

If people were to practice owning this state as much as the states where we complain about life and things going wrong. Life would never be the same again.

....hmm.

I believe it takes a lot more work than that.

Depression in itself could be inherently absorbed deep down from his or her's history. Such as implicit memories as representative of his or her bearing of circumstances throughout life. These are of course - a lengthy biography that no body would be able to comprehend UNLESS if the caregiver lowers him or herself to the victim's cause, and stick by his or her thoughts no matter if it is wrong.

That's right I will say that again - "even if it's wrong". It takes time.

Even the most sadistic of all criminals and serial killers; as I found from watching the most important documentary (of my lifetime at least) - were victims themselves deeply rooted down as they bear whatever circumstances they have all faced much earlier in THEIR life. And yet what is the only thing we can do, as a presumably "normal" society do and hope for them? lock them up and die. Or lock them up so we can at least never see them again.

It's the same as telling someone (or paying someone else) to just deal with it as quickly as possible.

If I am ever working as a doctor, a physician or a personal trainer / consultant; I would never tell my patient to simply smile and leave them "be". When was the last time you visited to a doctor that you swear you had a real illness beyond your control, and yet you were simply told "Na, that's not too bad.".

I agree with smoggy that not all doctors are the "same" - I myself have at least three different GPs whom I've had in mind whenever I need to have my "trust" and a fresh opinion on things.

I may be a lot younger than many members here, but ever since I lived on humility throughout my life I have not and would never ever judge or opinionate someone else's predicament "simply" through giving Unsolicited Advices like that. Yet I receive more share of throwbacks at me.

 

[asianguy77]

Things within our control, such as exercise, diet and positive thinking should be used to supplement treating someone with depression or mental illness. However unfortunately, medication may be a necessity to correct the chemical imbalance in the brain, which natural remedies cannot do. Dependence on medication, should be a last resort, as there are always negative tradeoffs, and once your on the meds, hard to come off it.

 

[Master Yoda]

Things within our control, such as exercise, diet and positive thinking should be used to supplement treating someone with depression or mental illness. However unfortunately, medication may be a necessity to correct the chemical imbalance in the brain, which natural remedies cannot do. Dependence on medication, should be a last resort, as there are always negative tradeoffs, and once your on the meds, hard to come off it.

Very true. If one was to treat their body as good as SOME of us keep our cars. Good fuel, regular exercise, regular servicing. Our body and minds will run with a purrrr. Though life circumstances will be just as good or bad, most things can be dealt with in a much better way from a healthy body and a clear mindset.

 

[HappyPirate]

Ahoy;- LOL I was depressed but now reading this BS;- I feel all better, Hmmmmm well half a bottle of Rum really does make a differance

There are plenty of legitimate reasons and medical research to back up and label many facets of depression.

However, in my experience people who are depressed are often caught up in the state and in a strange way addicted to it, they hate it but it has become habit. The shallow breathing, the hunched shoulders, the drooping facial muscles, etc.

I am not suggesting a cure here, but try this one on for size.

Pull your shoulders back and spread your arms, look up and have an ear to ear grin..

When you change your state to one that comes from a state of ultimate joy. Imagine hugging a supermodel after finding out you won lotto. In that physical state it is impossible to feel depressed. Try it... Changing your state to change you emotions is something that is available all the time.

If people were to practice owning this state as much as the states where we complain about life and things going wrong. Life would never be the same again.

 

[Dallas]

I have the best posture in the world Yoda, my face isn't droopy and my diet is excellent along with lots of exercise and as much regular sex as I can afford but the term depression is a problem in itself. It's the name of an illness as well as the name of a feeling that everyone gets from time to time.

Unfortunately people who've never had the illness seem to think that everyone who's got it is just suffering from the day to day depression that they've experienced and give advice like " pull yourself together" and "snap out of it" etc.

I have a cousin who's been a Victorian Ambulance paramedic for 30 years. He told me the story of the biggest mistake of his life and career when many years ago he attended a situation where a guy was standing on the edge of a building in Melbourne. He attempted to talk him down by talking to him, he said, "don't be selfish, think of what this will do to your family". The guy immediately jumped. My cousin found out later that the guy's reason for depression was that he had been abused by his family all his life. The moral of the story is that when it comes to depression, one can't assume especially if they've not had it as an debilitating illness and only as a common day to day thing.

 

[Master Yoda]

I have the best posture in the world Yoda, my face isn't droopy and my diet is excellent along with lots of exercise and as much regular sex as I can afford but the term depression is a problem in itself. It's the name of an illness as well as the name of a feeling that everyone gets from time to time.

Unfortunately people who've never had the illness seem to think that everyone who's got it is just suffering from the day to day depression that they've experienced and give advice like " pull yourself together" and "snap out of it" etc.

I have a cousin who's been a Victorian Ambulance paramedic for 30 years. He told me the story of the biggest mistake of his life and career when many years ago he attended a situation where a guy was standing on the edge of a building in Melbourne. He attempted to talk him down by talking to him, he said, "don't be selfish, think of what this will do to your family". The guy immediately jumped. My cousin found out later that the guy's reason for depression was that he had been abused by his family all his life. The moral of the story is that when it comes to depression, one can't assume especially if they've not had it as an debilitating illness and only as a common day to day thing.

I have been through long term depression before. And by the time I was mentally over the problem I was perceiving I was physically still into the habits of posture and breathing. So I was still feeling down. It was then that I changed my physiology to change my state.

It's a tricky thing and different people require different ways. Like I said, there's no one way. But we only speak through personal experience I guess.

 

[Tania Admin]

I have the best posture in the world Yoda, my face isn't droopy and my diet is excellent along with lots of exercise and as much regular sex as I can afford but the term depression is a problem in itself. It's the name of an illness as well as the name of a feeling that everyone gets from time to time.

Unfortunately people who've never had the illness seem to think that everyone who's got it is just suffering from the day to day depression that they've experienced and give advice like " pull yourself together" and "snap out of it" etc.

I have a cousin who's been a Victorian Ambulance paramedic for 30 years. He told me the story of the biggest mistake of his life and career when many years ago he attended a situation where a guy was standing on the edge of a building in Melbourne. He attempted to talk him down by talking to him, he said, "don't be selfish, think of what this will do to your family". The guy immediately jumped. My cousin found out later that the guy's reason for depression was that he had been abused by his family all his life. The moral of the story is that when it comes to depression, one can't assume especially if they've not had it as an debilitating illness and only as a common day to day thing.

Well said Dallas

 

[Dallas]

I have been through long term depression before. And by the time I was mentally over the problem I was perceiving I was physically still into the habits of posture and breathing. So I was still feeling down. It was then that I changed my physiology to change my state.

It's a tricky thing and different people require different ways. Like I said, there's no one way. But we only speak do personal experiences I guess.

Yes I see Yoda, I guess it affects us all a bit differently. Posture and breathing wasn't my issue even when I had it bad, but I did have a lot of others issues. Thanks for explaining

 

[Lord Spikey]

There are plenty of legitimate reasons and medical research to back up and label many facets of depression.

However, in my experience people who are depressed are often caught up in the state and in a strange way addicted to it, they hate it but it has become habit. The shallow breathing, the hunched shoulders, the drooping facial muscles, etc.

I am not suggesting a cure here, but try this one on for size.

Pull your shoulders back and spread your arms, look up and have an ear to ear grin..

When you change your state to one that comes from a state of ultimate joy. Imagine hugging a supermodel after finding out you won lotto. In that physical state it is impossible to feel depressed. Try it... Changing your state to change you emotions is something that is available all the time.

If people were to practice owning this state as much as the states where we complain about life and things going wrong. Life would never be the same again.

WOW!. Yoda. You have just cured depression.
Why didn't we all think of this before.

Sorry, bro. I know that you believe this implicitly, but those people suffering with this disease may not appreciate their troubles being minimized so.

Depression is a monster and it is one you cannot permanently shake off with a grin and good posture. Obviously any amount of positive thinking may help, but this is a condition that has and is plaguing mankind. It may be a modern disease, for all we know, brought on by the pressures of modern day life. It may be chemical, cause by the crap we are subjecting our bodies to, through diet and environment. It may be due to the changing roles within society with the line between sexes becoming blurred (we now have quite a few, apparently).

The root of this disease is yet to be discovered, but one thing is clear: it is a serious condition that has seen the ruin of many lives, both of the sufferer and their families.

I try to surround myself with positive people and influences. I try to maintain a busy, active life and enjoy many things in moderation. I have a couple of significant hobbies and I definitely enjoy the company of beautiful ladies who can genuinely display affection.

I have a couple of friends who suffer or have suffered from depression and although we are there for each other, we don't dwell on the problem, but rather lift each other up, without reducing each other's reality.

So, Yoda, if you don't mind me saying; I don't believe you have an adequate understanding of the depth of the problem and although I respect your intentions it may be better, in this instance, to leave helpful comment to those able to help.

There, I've said it.

I have had little time to read this thread and started just one or two posts above.I had to stop and award 50 points for this post as it is so sensible, well written, and may one day save someone's life.Over the ten years the forum has been going, i have received two private messages from members that truly believed without all of us on the forum, they may have said good byr to this world. -maryanne

 

[Master Yoda]

Thank you for your response Lord Spikey. No I believe not that I hold a cure to such a phenomenon. I believe I stated that. Nor do I have any ultimate understanding of these human bodies we ride around in.

There is such a huge expanse of facets to depression. Especially in the vaguely harnessed fields of biochemistry and neurology. What I pointed out are a few aspects that can be controlled and can be a choice that has helped me and also helped people who I have done interventions with.

I am forever learning more and this thread is a great source of perspectives.

Cheers bro.

 

[Lord Spikey]

Nothing personal, Bro.
Your post was short and to a point. My objection was to the fact that you seemed to be espousing a simple solution to a complex problem.
It was a little insulting, that's all.
I know you understand that it is a much bigger deal

 

[Master Yoda]

All good Lord Spikey. No offense was taken. Your posts are always valued here.

Now..... its been a while so how about a punt crawl soon. Bring some mates.

 

[Lord Spikey]

Oh Yes.... Please

That would cheer up anybody, lol

 

[Master Yoda]

Yes!!!!!! Another adventure coming up. Name a time I'll find a place sword man.....

 

[Lord Spikey]

But, back on topic; I think someone had the great idea of making this a sticky thread for people to post to anytime. I know that this would be a strange thread to have sticky on a "Talkin Sex" Forum, but I wonder just how many suffers frequent this forum and establishments as a form of medication?
A way to entertain themselves and take their mind off of there immediate issues.

I for one vote YES

 

[Master Yoda]

Anyone else have an expression of interest?

 

[Tania Admin]

Yes from me to

 

[wr3xr]

But, back on topic; I think someone had the great idea of making this a sticky thread for people to post to anytime. I know that this would be a strange thread to have sticky on a "Talkin Sex" Forum, but I wonder just how many suffers frequent this forum and establishments as a form of medication?
A way to entertain themselves and take their mind off of there immediate issues.

I for one vote YES

I'm on another forum thats very blokey and moderated in a rather interesting format(!!) and theres a similiar thread where people can freely discuss their thoughts with support and no negativity. Absolutely none is tolerated on that thread.

I must admit, I feel very fortunate reading these type of threads as it reinforces how good I have it

 

[DDxoxo]

 

[Lord Spikey]

View attachment 15038

That is great DDxoxo, but those who suffer feel nothing BUT alone. That's the point and being alone is the worst place you can be. We all need intimate contact.

 

[Tania Admin]

That is definitely one of the hardest things about depression,,you do feel alone, even when you have people around,,it's your own dark space....It's awful.

 

[DDxoxo]

That is completely true what you have said -
thats why gorgeous seemly successful people like Charlotte Dawson do take their own lives...
the pressure & you are right - at that crtical point they felt truly alone!
I would not know how to fix the problem &
it would hurt me if a friend of mine was in the situation & I was helpless...​