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Depression......

asianguy77

Diamond Member
Points
4
Have you ever experienced depression? Was it something you overcame or do you think it will be a part of your life, controlled with medication?

Can you differentiate between depression and just finding yourself going through a rut in life..
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
I think I did, for a very long time. I was isolated for a very long time, did not want to associate with anyone or anything. Couldn't be f*** getting outta bed. Death came into mind pretty often during the dark ages of my life. But I have zero tolerance to pain and unnecessary pain, so BDSM is a no for me. lol...

I don't know if I've overcum it but i may have swept it under the carpet. I embraced this sexy lady called Humour and gave each other a body slide. 10/10 I tell ya.

Depression is part of life big or small, i reckon. Is there really a pill that will cure it? or are they just happy pills, or placebo? Xanax yay! What happens when xanax runs out.
 
W

wr3xr

I've never had it and couldnt possibly imagine what its like. Only once have i had thoughts about suicide and even then it was only a split second thought before my brain kicked in and said "nope, we'll get out of this situation alive and ok". Now i look back and think WTF was i thinking to have thought that but it was a rather interesting couple of days. The worst situation i've been in was the best day of my life in some ways. I learnt more about myself in 48hrs than i did in 27 years

Whilst i know its a serious issue i often think that people self diagnose themselves if they go through a rough patch. I also really wonder if social media does more harm than good to sufferers.
 
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johnlou

5 Star General
Foundation Member
Points
0
i have been suffering from depression since the passing of my brother 31 years ago and i kept it @ bay by working 10 to 12 hrs a day 6 and 7 days a week , and between contracts i would allow myself to play hard with the ladies :) and since being layed off from my last job ( no work ) dec 2012 and still not working , the depression has crept in and it has a good hold . i never wanted to take meds to combat it but it has come time to do so . just started the meds .

trying hard to find employment but when you are over 50 yo who wants to hand out a job??
 
T

Tania Admin

I had bad depression and then a nervous break down, at the age of 14, after leaving the violence that was home. I pulled myself through it. I have suffered from depression a few times over the years, all triggered by events that happened at the time. Last year I fell into the blackhole of depression for a few months, after 18 months of crap including, being bullied and belittled constantly by someone, harassment from my ex and the final blow dealing with the hardships of being a parent in a difficult situation. I closed myself off from everyone, hid inside myself, the world felt grey everyday and I just didn't want to face the outside world..
People who know me well, know me as a strong independent person,,,but sometimes (for everyone) you just can't take anymore and I hit that point..
It's been a steady (un medicated) climb back to me, lots of tears, frustration and the acceptance of these circumstances were beyond my control..I'm still not 100% but I'm getting there,,and I'm embracing the funny, kind, smart, caring and good person I am inside..
It's not easy and my heart goes out to all who find themselves in that situation..
Stay strong, remember the good in you and you will see the sunshine through the clouds again. 1 step at a time.
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
952
Ahoy;- I walk around each day;- Pissed
There you go, I never knew I was depressed LOL
On a serious note;- its very common, all the best JohnLou, You are a top bloke, all the best Tania, you are a ray of sunshine

Depression in men often masquerades as anger. If you or someone you know walks around pissed off with the world all the time, chances are it's depression that's the problem. It's fairly common.
 
L

Lord Spikey

Depression. That bloody black dog that keeps following you around.
I thought he had adopted me a couple of times through my life. I took him everywhere.

After my mother died (in my arms), things just didn't feel right. In fact they still don't and that was some twenty years ago. Went through an extended bad patch. Almost ended it. Almost.

The other time was a few years before that. That manifested as chronic stomach cramps and dizziness. I took meds and time out for that episode.

Depression is something that we don't want to admit to. It would make us appear weak and we know that, in general, people tend to kick you when you are down. Sad, but true. If it wasn't for organizations like Beyondblue and true friends I think there would be many more suicides. Our wives or girlfriends just get insecure and are unable to cope or provide the support we need. They turn nasty and just add to the problem. This is why depression affects men more than women. We are supposed to be the strong ones and not allowed to to be down at all. This is just my perception, you understand.

I don't think that meds are the answer. They will just mask the problem. Support, understanding and counselling work much better toward a more permanent solution.

Anyway, that is my 2 cents worth
 
T

Tania Admin

Never heard of the him before, but reading that letter felt like he had been inside my head on both sides of the fence.
 
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Xtraman

珍愛生命
Diamond Member
Points
0
As we can see already by this site that it is bigger than you think.
Agree with all comments so far.
Us mere men find it very hard to open up to anyone because of the macho stigma.
I have been through it and still have the ups and downs.
I know now when it is raising its head and can cope by just knowing it is only mind over matter.
I find exercise is the key, the old healthy body healthy mind thing.

Just remember nothing is ever as bad as it seems
Don't keep it to yourself
 
W

wr3xr

X, i think you have a valid point regarding exercise.

I'm not a doc but the healthiest and happiest people i know are those who exercise (even just a power walk). I think it helps the mind and body deal with problems more effectively. Those older blokes (50+) who have hobbies based on exercise always seem so much better off than a miserable 50yo guy who's going through a midlife crisis
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
I never had a day of depression in my life until about 3 years ago when my wife told me she was leaving on our 20th wedding anniversary. The stress was enormous and I lost my career job of 13 years, and my work friends. I had built our home and nearly had it paid for, so I lost that too. We didn't have kids so there was no support there. Suddenly I was totally on my own.

As the depression grew worse in crept insomnia, nightmares and chronic fatigue. I've always been very athletic but for a whole year I could hardly walk more than a few steps and I was in incredible pain through all my bones, muscles and joints. I spent most of the time in bed with intermittent anxiety attacks and the shakes, the doctors wanted to give me all sorts of meds but they only made me feel worse and I nearly developed a Benzodiazapine dependency which I got on top of quickly. I was on my own and had nobody to talk to or support me for that whole year, I made myself a mental schedule and every day I tried to walk a few steps further until I could walk out into the street, then a bit further, it was the hardest physical thing I've ever had to do but after a year I ran a 21km half marathon. I felt that physically I was back but emotionally I wasn't.

I still battle depression every day and it's only been discovering working ladies that have literally saved my life. Yet I still have issues though. I've not slept in a bed for about 30 years without a partner until my ex left, and that really disturbed my sleep, and have had nightmares for nearly two years but occasionally I've had my special w/l who stays overnight and with her next to me I get to have the most blissful sleep. I can't put into words the feeling of waking up at 3am and instead of it being in a huge panic driven sweat, I feel totally relaxed with the realisation that there's someone next to me that I trust and feel a connection with.


tumblr_mqodurdsjv1swtuhpo1_500_zps2cce232c.gif


I'm a single 51 year old male and it's a different world being single now. I feel transparent within the world. As johnlou said, at our age nobody is too interested in us for work. Shared accommodation is advertised for mostly females and relationships seem just as difficult to find.

One of the major things I've lost which is affecting my health is hugs. I have no kids and women seem to give each other hugs both socially and in the workplace but not to guys so I have to sometimes go weeks without any physical contact with another human being whatsoever until I have a booking, and then it's like going from 0 to 100, you walk into the room and it's clothes off and into it, it's often too overwhelming to my senses and it's not that I don't have a strong libido and healthy male parts but I often just can't focus on sex on that first booking because I'm overwhelmed by the lady and her touch.

I almost need a holding hands booking first just so I don't pass out from the emotional overload!.

holdinghand_zpsb6bce509.gif


So I try and keep my depression and anxiety in check with huge amounts of exercise, a good diet and a treat when I can afford it to see a w/l who makes all my depression leave and lets me feel normal again for a couple of hours.

I've tried doctors, psychologists and meds but the surprising thing that's helped the most has been sitting in the Langtrees lounge. It has the most calming, stress relieving and anti depressing feeling I've found! It's like being in my own lounge with friends! It's ironical when I walk in there and my anxiety just melts away, and I see other guys looking stressed!
 
L

Lord Spikey

Dallas my friend. I think you may have hit on something, there.
I can only speak for myself, but I think I know what you mean when you talk about the physical contact aspect of sharing time with a working lady.

When relationships break down, through separation or just pseudo separation, we miss out on that essential physical contact, as well as the emotional contact. We are physical beings and we do need to touch; to feel and to be touched.

I don't think we understand enough about how important that is, until we find ourselves baffled and alone, even when there is another person in the same house.

This is just another way in which working ladies can offer their services to us, but ladies, please be genuine. A pretence can cause even more damage.
 

Rochelle

Forum & Langtrees.com Administrator
Staff member
Legend Member
Points
140
Luckily I am not a depressive person but I have met a lot of awesome people who suffer depression........some of them very close friends one of them a partner for several years.......
A rocky road to learn a few things...............
1) depression has to be taken seriously. A lot of people think it is done with a "harden up princess" attitude......very wrong indeed.
2) there is no cure as far as I know. People have to learn and live with it which depends a lot on the right medication and support.
3) mentioning support I mean real support and not pity. People who suffer depression are very much master of their intellectual abilities so no point treating them like babies.
4) and that is the hardest lesson to learn....there is only so much you can do to help. No point in getting depressed yourself. Be aware of your own limits and realise you do have the obligation to look after yourself......step back if you have to,
and finally 5) if somebody really wants to commit suicide you won't stop them......from a certain point on they have crossed the line, have thought it through, planned it, have plan A.B and C and they will do it even when you put a 24 hour surveillance on them..........don't blame yourself if they "succeed"..............
 

honestman

Gold Member
Points
0
One of the most under-appreciated threads and certainly under-exposed when anyone struggles to find a sincere comfortable "blanket" environment much in the "public" life.

Depression, or lack of emotional well-being, / personal malnourishment is; as I would believe; what leads and forced us to find a society where we find some sort of solace, comfort and most of all, unconditional understanding, and awareness for fullfilling our basic inner needs.

Which in many extent - what brought us all here.

I won't ramble and compare myself to others how I've been through, but I wholeheartedly could extend the facts that's already been written here as true, factual and just as relatable to my own series of events that is at times stuck in my head. Yes, and that includes a faint, lingering but defenitely palpable moment in 2011 where I simply thought of pulling the plug. Everything.

There's a line I read somewhere; which clearly stuck in my mind whenever karma hasn't brought me something back yet, or just whenever things are out of my control yet humility is something I strive for in everything I do in life :

"Depression can be at its worst - a disability in or of itself; since it's difficult for people to understand because they don't see the wheelchair".

I had less than perhaps one actual friend - but it's ironic how at one time I was yelled F*** off and go see a psychiatrist! right in the face by that one same person; years ago as I tried to sort things out from my mind.

These type of external reactions from the public; even among our so called "friends" - are purely nothing more than Unsolicited Advices. In 2011 as I had my first really bad patch in life - these were something I learned and certainly to be aware of; for myself that nobody else taught me.

Yet so many, so many people I've worked with through my industry; even if they think of themselves as a "good samaritan" or simply someone who's socially "generous" or "outspoken" - still give these unsolicited advices out to anyone who's feels completely obliterated. I know this, because I observe people in and out.


Possible medical alternatives
------------------------------------------
The worst I could ever believe for a doctor to advise on someone who's depressed is giving them SSRI's or any one of the officially recognised anti depressant meds. There ARE CLEAR reports being written time and time again these would make anyone with an existing ED worse. And that goes for women's libido too.

Whenever I feel I'm truly down in any given moment I take / cycle a period of using either one of two supplements : Rhodiola or SAMe (S-Adenosyl Methionine) <- SAMe is one of the most expensive but clearly the most reliable of all mental well being supplement; it also brought a LOT of other benefits I read up received as reading material from one of my healthstores. Rhodiola may not be as effective; but IT TRULY makes a gradual effect as it does lower the cortisols and have been proven to maximise endurance as I needed at times in the gym.

Eat well, stay in humility through your intake of foods not for self-gluttony, adopt wholegrain diet, liquid fish oils, stock up on healthy esential amino acids, anti oxidants, and vitamin Ds...but most difficult of all - try your best to keep yourself alive, happy and well....if you're not born with a congenital curvature (which leads me to my partial ED); that's already a plus :).
 
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T

Tania Admin

Exercise definitely helps, as does diet,,but it's taking those first steps when your in a black hole that are the hardest..Thank you for posting this thread, I really hope we can all help others with our own personal experiences,,if only one person pulls themselves through after reading this it's well worth it. And thank you all for being open and honest about your own personal turmoils.
 

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
Thank God for Working Ladies...oops i mean Thank Goodness...visits to these inexpensive psychologists are just a bliss...but still one can't afford to visit them too often.

Exercise definitely helps but lack of motivation will not kick start it.

But having a positive outlook helps a lot. One needs to take a look at things from a different perspective. Humour is a superb med and it's free but not at someone's expense. lol
Always look at the bright side of life...
 

Obbie

Legend Member
Points
467
Had it really bad around 3 1/2 years back tryed to top myself a couple of times but I'm still here I do still suffer from it now and then but life goes on and things like this forum in a strange way does help me out sometimes cheers for that :D
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
One of the most under-appreciated threads and certainly under-exposed when anyone struggles to find a sincere comfortable "blanket" environment much in the "public" life.

Depression, or lack of emotional well-being, / personal malnourishment is; as I would believe; what leads and forced us to find a society where we find some sort of solace, comfort and most of all, unconditional understanding, and awareness for fullfilling our basic inner needs.

Which in many extent - what brought us all here.

I won't ramble and compare myself to others how I've been through, but I wholeheartedly could extend the facts that's already been written here as true, factual and just as relatable to my own series of events that is at times stuck in my head. Yes, and that includes a faint, lingering but defenitely palpable moment in 2011 where I simply thought of pulling the plug. Everything.

There's a line I read somewhere; which clearly stuck in my mind whenever karma hasn't brought me something back yet, or just whenever things are out of my control yet humility is something I strive for in everything I do in life :

"Depression can be at its worst - a disability in or of itself; since it's difficult for people to understand because they don't see the wheelchair".

I had less than perhaps one actual friend - but it's ironic how at one time I was yelled F*** off and go see a psychiatrist! right in the face by that one same person; years ago as I tried to sort things out from my mind.

These type of external reactions from the public; even among our so called "friends" - are purely nothing more than Unsolicited Advices. In 2011 as I had my first really bad patch in life - these were something I learned and certainly to be aware of; for myself that nobody else taught me.

Yet so many, so many people I've worked with through my industry; even if they think of themselves as a "good samaritan" or simply someone who's socially "generous" or "outspoken" - still give these unsolicited advices out to anyone who's feels completely obliterated. I know this, because I observe people in and out.


Possible medical alternatives
------------------------------------------
The worst I could ever believe for a doctor to advise on someone who's depressed is giving them SSRI's or any one of the officially recognised anti depressant meds. There ARE CLEAR reports being written time and time again these would make anyone with an existing ED worse. And that goes for women's libido too.

Whenever I feel I'm truly down in any given moment I take / cycle a period of using either one of two supplements : Rhodiola or SAMe (S-Adenosyl Methionine) <- SAMe is one of the most expensive but clearly the most reliable of all mental well being supplement; it also brought a LOT of other benefits I read up received as reading material from one of my healthstores. Rhodiola may not be as effective; but IT TRULY makes a gradual effect as it does lower the cortisols and have been proven to maximise endurance as I needed at times in the gym.

Eat well, stay in humility through your intake of foods not for self-gluttony, adopt wholegrain diet, liquid fish oils, stock up on healthy esential amino acids, anti oxidants, and vitamin Ds...but most difficult of all - try your best to keep yourself alive, happy and well....if you're not born with a congenital curvature (which leads me to my partial ED); that's already a plus :).

Omg yes! I was given SSRI's and only took them for a couple of weeks and it was the only time in my life where I really felt totally sick, had no sexual functionality and wanted to kill myself.
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Thank God for Working Ladies...oops i mean Thank Goodness...visits to these inexpensive psychologists are just a bliss...but still one can't afford to visit them too often.

Exercise definitely helps but lack of motivation will not kick start it.

But having a positive outlook helps a lot. One needs to take a look at things from a different perspective. Humour is a superb med and it's free but not at someone's expense. lol
Always look at the bright side of life...

For me it's been the black bear, it's like it jumps out and lands on my back and I feel like I'm trying to run in a nightmare - like in slow motion and not getting anywhere carrying the weight of the world.

Exercise definitely helps, as does diet,,but it's taking those first steps when your in a black hole that are the hardest..Thank you for posting this thread, I really hope we can all help others with our own personal experiences,,if only one person pulls themselves through after reading this it's well worth it. And thank you all for being open and honest about your own personal turmoils.

Great comment Tania, yes I agree and that was my motivation, I think if one person feels better after talking about this then it's a good thing :)
 

Dallas

Legend Member
Points
0
Dallas my friend. I think you may have hit on something, there.
I can only speak for myself, but I think I know what you mean when you talk about the physical contact aspect of sharing time with a working lady.

When relationships break down, through separation or just pseudo separation, we miss out on that essential physical contact, as well as the emotional contact. We are physical beings and we do need to touch; to feel and to be touched.

I don't think we understand enough about how important that is, until we find ourselves baffled and alone, even when there is another person in the same house.

This is just another way in which working ladies can offer their services to us, but ladies, please be genuine. A pretence can cause even more damage.

Thanks Spikey, I sometimes feel like I'm in space and nobody can hear me scream. I'm surrounded by people who are constantly physically interacting with others and take it for granted, then wonder why I desperately need to see a working lady. They say oh, go home and enjoy being single.. while they hug their partner or their kids or their clients.

You're right that we don't understand enough about the importance of physical intimacy. I remember reading a study on babies in an orphanage in India and their survival rate was increased exponentially when they were hugged regularly. I don't believe you grow out of that need. I sure haven't.
 
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