B
bronzed
Thought I would keep this section of the forum going cause I think its important for a lot of people to change their perception of people with a physical disability. Firstly, well done Christyne on getting this section of the forum going, its great that you have blown away a few of the misconceptions about physical disability.
I was interested to read the info about overheating and it got me thinking. As a person with a disability it is important to relay information about your disability to your sex partner and to educate them a little about your disability. I have been a quadriplegic for 8 years and have had about 25 different sex partners in that time, all off whom were able bodied. I experience the overheating problem because my body has no way of regulating its core temperature anymore i.e I cant sweat.
I play sport with people of all sorts of physical disabilities (all male) and have played international sport for the last 7 years so I feel I am reasonably well placed to be able to tell you about the various issues guys face. Some people have ultra sensitive area of their bodies (called hypersensativity) that can cause immense pain if touched even very lightly. Others have a burning sensation in those areas.
I have VERY good touch sensation in my lower body even though I
cant use muscles from the chest down. This means that I can get an erection and ejaculate naturally. However spinal chord injury is so varied that sensations change massively from one person to the next even if their were injured in the exact same spinal location as someone else. The type of disability also detmermines the level of feeling. Those guys with muscular dystrophy for example, can feel and their entire bodies (hot and cold sensation, pain sensation and touch sensation) but have very little movement ability in their arms and legs. Generally, paraplegics have no feeling below their waist but very good upper body sensation. And generally quadriplegics have good sensation through their bodies but reduced movement in their upper bodies and no movement below the chest.
I have read in other threads that guys physical disabilities (particularly acquired disabilities - e.g spinal injury) have hugely enhanced oral skills. I have found this is particularly the case and have made a lot of ladies orgasm simply by using only my tongue. I also still retained a lot of my finger dexterity which I find makes up for the lack of stamina I have when I am on top - you can only imagine how much load that puts on your upper body muscles when you cant use your legs, hips or abs.
So speaking from a guy's perspective, as much as we still want to orgasm, its much more about the mental pleasure than it was before we got hurt. This is illustrated by kiwibiker's post who still wants to have sex even though he cant feel it. Its more of a mental stimulation for him to see the sex taking place, knowing he has an active part in the process. We get off on knowing that we can still get a girl off so we give women a lot more oral and manual stimulation - fingering. The other bonus for women is that guys are generally hell bent on pleasing the woman and ladies, that means unheard of quantities of foreplay (I define foreplay as every but vaginal or anal sex). And in most cases guys want the woman to cum first.
There is only one case that I have experienced with a female with a disability. She was a paraplegic and had no feeling below the waist. She was a house mate of mine and we had a few sexual experiences together but she eventually found another guy, while we still shared the house together. She would go to his place and come back the next day telling me how good it was. It didnt bother me as she and I were really good friends but one thing I remember her saying was that she loved to be f*!ked like a porn star and we did a lot of crazy things together. This indicated to me that she got off on the mental stimulation of being treated like a porn star.
Im not totally sure of this but from my experience I think its a plus for women that when I cum, it lasts for around a minute. My whole body shakes uncontrollably and its a huge experience for her for the first time. I think its again linked to the mental stimulation thing where the woman knows that even if I have a disability, they can still give me the satisfaction of cumming.
I have experienced threesomes, same room sex and swinging since my injury and have had no problems at all with either my partner or the people I we have been involved with. I am confident in my own abilities and see the positives in everything that I do. Having said that, I am a very independent person, my partner would say stubbornly independent, but I exude this and also exude confidence when I go to a club or meet new people which really helps.
At the end of the day just remember one thing. We have exactly the same dreams, aspirations and desires as you. I dont see my disability as limiting, I see it as a new direction in my life and a new driving force. For me nothing is impossible, it just takes a little longer or requires a little inventiveness. My partner loved doggy style sex which is impossible for me to give. So I got online and found a bench seat that is specifically designed just for that reason. Now she LOVES it and yeah, is not the regular way doing things but when it comes to sex what is regular? Is it any different to using a sex swing? I dont think so.
OK that's my two cents worth for now, I will post later when I get some more time. If anyone has questions, comments or suggetions about anything relating to the topics I have written about or anything to do with sex and disability then please, feel free to reply.
Bronzed :la:
I was interested to read the info about overheating and it got me thinking. As a person with a disability it is important to relay information about your disability to your sex partner and to educate them a little about your disability. I have been a quadriplegic for 8 years and have had about 25 different sex partners in that time, all off whom were able bodied. I experience the overheating problem because my body has no way of regulating its core temperature anymore i.e I cant sweat.
I play sport with people of all sorts of physical disabilities (all male) and have played international sport for the last 7 years so I feel I am reasonably well placed to be able to tell you about the various issues guys face. Some people have ultra sensitive area of their bodies (called hypersensativity) that can cause immense pain if touched even very lightly. Others have a burning sensation in those areas.
I have VERY good touch sensation in my lower body even though I
cant use muscles from the chest down. This means that I can get an erection and ejaculate naturally. However spinal chord injury is so varied that sensations change massively from one person to the next even if their were injured in the exact same spinal location as someone else. The type of disability also detmermines the level of feeling. Those guys with muscular dystrophy for example, can feel and their entire bodies (hot and cold sensation, pain sensation and touch sensation) but have very little movement ability in their arms and legs. Generally, paraplegics have no feeling below their waist but very good upper body sensation. And generally quadriplegics have good sensation through their bodies but reduced movement in their upper bodies and no movement below the chest.
I have read in other threads that guys physical disabilities (particularly acquired disabilities - e.g spinal injury) have hugely enhanced oral skills. I have found this is particularly the case and have made a lot of ladies orgasm simply by using only my tongue. I also still retained a lot of my finger dexterity which I find makes up for the lack of stamina I have when I am on top - you can only imagine how much load that puts on your upper body muscles when you cant use your legs, hips or abs.
So speaking from a guy's perspective, as much as we still want to orgasm, its much more about the mental pleasure than it was before we got hurt. This is illustrated by kiwibiker's post who still wants to have sex even though he cant feel it. Its more of a mental stimulation for him to see the sex taking place, knowing he has an active part in the process. We get off on knowing that we can still get a girl off so we give women a lot more oral and manual stimulation - fingering. The other bonus for women is that guys are generally hell bent on pleasing the woman and ladies, that means unheard of quantities of foreplay (I define foreplay as every but vaginal or anal sex). And in most cases guys want the woman to cum first.
There is only one case that I have experienced with a female with a disability. She was a paraplegic and had no feeling below the waist. She was a house mate of mine and we had a few sexual experiences together but she eventually found another guy, while we still shared the house together. She would go to his place and come back the next day telling me how good it was. It didnt bother me as she and I were really good friends but one thing I remember her saying was that she loved to be f*!ked like a porn star and we did a lot of crazy things together. This indicated to me that she got off on the mental stimulation of being treated like a porn star.
Im not totally sure of this but from my experience I think its a plus for women that when I cum, it lasts for around a minute. My whole body shakes uncontrollably and its a huge experience for her for the first time. I think its again linked to the mental stimulation thing where the woman knows that even if I have a disability, they can still give me the satisfaction of cumming.
I have experienced threesomes, same room sex and swinging since my injury and have had no problems at all with either my partner or the people I we have been involved with. I am confident in my own abilities and see the positives in everything that I do. Having said that, I am a very independent person, my partner would say stubbornly independent, but I exude this and also exude confidence when I go to a club or meet new people which really helps.
At the end of the day just remember one thing. We have exactly the same dreams, aspirations and desires as you. I dont see my disability as limiting, I see it as a new direction in my life and a new driving force. For me nothing is impossible, it just takes a little longer or requires a little inventiveness. My partner loved doggy style sex which is impossible for me to give. So I got online and found a bench seat that is specifically designed just for that reason. Now she LOVES it and yeah, is not the regular way doing things but when it comes to sex what is regular? Is it any different to using a sex swing? I dont think so.
OK that's my two cents worth for now, I will post later when I get some more time. If anyone has questions, comments or suggetions about anything relating to the topics I have written about or anything to do with sex and disability then please, feel free to reply.
Bronzed :la:
