Why do men have to feel soo bad
- Thread starter Snow1
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I don't know why men have to feel so bad necessarily but I guess the short answer is social conditioning.
From young we taught certain morals, many of which were based on insecurities, petty morals and values, religious beliefs and possibly male insecurity. These things are changing but 'til today still exist nonetheless.
From young, we're taught to seek approval for our actions e.g. she's a good girl in her pixie dress, oh he's a good boy helping mummy and daddy. We're then taught immense guilt and hellfire and brimstone punishment for masturbation.
There are social morals and then there societal ones - I believe societal ones are broadly based on the premise that it's okay to do as long as you don't hurt anyone. The social ones have been largely ingrained into us for the right or wrong reasons.
So, enter the guilt/social factor(s) based on myriad things - only the lowest of low class men have to pay for sex. Only the most desperate guy who can't pull a root has pay for pussy. Only the sluttiest whore who can't earn a decent living spreads her thighs to make a living 'cos she can't do anything else. Most hookers are on drugs so you should feel guilty about it etc. I could go on writing a thesis about it and I'm sure they already exist.
If anything, for me, I think someone should feel guilt if they're cheating or lying they're committed to someone else but are not and visit the prostitute e.g. the two timer. I don't believe in the onetime (possibly still) Australian ritual of manhood based on getting your first root paid for on your 18th birthday either. I certainly would have reservations about exploitation e.g. in third world countries where you try to bargain down the women who are doing this mostly out of desperation. I certainly would draw the line at anyone underaged.
Coming back to guilt - we live in a judgemental society still. No one gives a fiddler's fuck if you're lonely as sin. No one cares what the reasons are that a girl or guy enters the sex worker's industry. I do know one thing, it's a shame it can cost so much for people who are lonely though. My .02 Euros worth,.
From young we taught certain morals, many of which were based on insecurities, petty morals and values, religious beliefs and possibly male insecurity. These things are changing but 'til today still exist nonetheless.
From young, we're taught to seek approval for our actions e.g. she's a good girl in her pixie dress, oh he's a good boy helping mummy and daddy. We're then taught immense guilt and hellfire and brimstone punishment for masturbation.
There are social morals and then there societal ones - I believe societal ones are broadly based on the premise that it's okay to do as long as you don't hurt anyone. The social ones have been largely ingrained into us for the right or wrong reasons.
So, enter the guilt/social factor(s) based on myriad things - only the lowest of low class men have to pay for sex. Only the most desperate guy who can't pull a root has pay for pussy. Only the sluttiest whore who can't earn a decent living spreads her thighs to make a living 'cos she can't do anything else. Most hookers are on drugs so you should feel guilty about it etc. I could go on writing a thesis about it and I'm sure they already exist.
If anything, for me, I think someone should feel guilt if they're cheating or lying they're committed to someone else but are not and visit the prostitute e.g. the two timer. I don't believe in the onetime (possibly still) Australian ritual of manhood based on getting your first root paid for on your 18th birthday either. I certainly would have reservations about exploitation e.g. in third world countries where you try to bargain down the women who are doing this mostly out of desperation. I certainly would draw the line at anyone underaged.
Coming back to guilt - we live in a judgemental society still. No one gives a fiddler's fuck if you're lonely as sin. No one cares what the reasons are that a girl or guy enters the sex worker's industry. I do know one thing, it's a shame it can cost so much for people who are lonely though. My .02 Euros worth,.
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And I gleaned this from another poster in another thread which is of some interest and a little relevance.
A poster called Hardwood wrote:
" No woman fights to become a prostitute; she is in prostitution because her fights for any other life have been lost".
I have just finished reading a paper by Catharine MacKinnon, a well-known American feminist, scholar, lawyer, teacher and activist, specializing in sex equality issues under international and constitutional law.
The statement above in blue is one she puts forward.
She also claims that "It is well documented that most people who are prostituted worldwide want to leave it and cannot".
She concludes by saying "Prostitution is demand-driven. Pimps are in the business to make bank deposits, and the engine of that process is the buyer. Criminalizing the buyer is the best approach because it is the only approach that works."
Your thoughts?????
And a poster called Big Black Cock replied:
"
I have several takes on this. I think the reasons why women become prostitutes vary according to whether it's a developed nation or an undeveloped one sometimes.
Sure, there are those women who look upon it as a service/means to an end.
My heart goes out to those many in e.g. the Philippines, Thailand, Africa where the choice is to work in sleazy bars desperately scraping money together to feed a family. It's especially bad in e.g. Thailand where some women are known to consent to sex without condoms and take the risk to make money. I can't even begin to express my distaste at places like Pattaya where caucasian tourists mainly are seen in the company of girls who've barely made it past puberty and are hardly adults yet.
And then when I drive along places like the Beaufort/Bulwer Street area I'm saddened again to see young girls or very diseased looking elderly women/junkies trying to stop motorists. Again, I suspect some of these ladies are underaged.
I remember some years ago reading an article in The Weekend Australian magazine about unusual jobs that people do e.g. chimney sweep etc. One of the interviewees was a student who was saving money to travel and worked as a receptionist in a brothel. She could only do it for a year because as she struck up friendships with the escorts she found out the tragic circumstances which drove them into doing this - deserted husbands, bankruptcy, wanting to make money in a short space of time, drug dependency, kids to feed etc. She said that by the time she left, the harsh reality of their circumstances were too much for her and she just didn't want to know anymore.
I remember speaking to a cafe owner who knew several prostitutes and said many of them took drugs to forget - after all, especially when you're new to the game, the thought of having to perform intimate acts, normally with someone who you cherish and vice versa with any tom, dick or mary who has the cash but not necessarily the attraction is very, very daunting. Especially when the profession isn't socially acceptable even to this day.
All that being said, and I'm not a big time punter, the few times when I've visited a prostitute, I've found many of them to be incredibly well-adusted human beings who are products/victims of circumstances. And for a lonely soul like me, it's just as painful because I know that if I was in a relationship with them, I'd protect them from all this. But that's another story altogether.
What have I said that comes to any conclusion of sorts? Well nothing really except that I think the issues why women get into prostitution need to be addressed. If a woman has to resort to prostitution to feed her kids because social welfare payments aren't enough - then we have to look at social welfare payments, counselling etc. Easily said, not so easily done.
My ultimate hope is that I hope all women (and men for that matter) who undertake prostitution to make ends meet are sober enough to invest their money well enough so they can leave it and make a return to normal albeit not as well-paying means to make a living.
"
A poster called Hardwood wrote:
" No woman fights to become a prostitute; she is in prostitution because her fights for any other life have been lost".
I have just finished reading a paper by Catharine MacKinnon, a well-known American feminist, scholar, lawyer, teacher and activist, specializing in sex equality issues under international and constitutional law.
The statement above in blue is one she puts forward.
She also claims that "It is well documented that most people who are prostituted worldwide want to leave it and cannot".
She concludes by saying "Prostitution is demand-driven. Pimps are in the business to make bank deposits, and the engine of that process is the buyer. Criminalizing the buyer is the best approach because it is the only approach that works."
Your thoughts?????
And a poster called Big Black Cock replied:
"
I have several takes on this. I think the reasons why women become prostitutes vary according to whether it's a developed nation or an undeveloped one sometimes.
Sure, there are those women who look upon it as a service/means to an end.
My heart goes out to those many in e.g. the Philippines, Thailand, Africa where the choice is to work in sleazy bars desperately scraping money together to feed a family. It's especially bad in e.g. Thailand where some women are known to consent to sex without condoms and take the risk to make money. I can't even begin to express my distaste at places like Pattaya where caucasian tourists mainly are seen in the company of girls who've barely made it past puberty and are hardly adults yet.
And then when I drive along places like the Beaufort/Bulwer Street area I'm saddened again to see young girls or very diseased looking elderly women/junkies trying to stop motorists. Again, I suspect some of these ladies are underaged.
I remember some years ago reading an article in The Weekend Australian magazine about unusual jobs that people do e.g. chimney sweep etc. One of the interviewees was a student who was saving money to travel and worked as a receptionist in a brothel. She could only do it for a year because as she struck up friendships with the escorts she found out the tragic circumstances which drove them into doing this - deserted husbands, bankruptcy, wanting to make money in a short space of time, drug dependency, kids to feed etc. She said that by the time she left, the harsh reality of their circumstances were too much for her and she just didn't want to know anymore.
I remember speaking to a cafe owner who knew several prostitutes and said many of them took drugs to forget - after all, especially when you're new to the game, the thought of having to perform intimate acts, normally with someone who you cherish and vice versa with any tom, dick or mary who has the cash but not necessarily the attraction is very, very daunting. Especially when the profession isn't socially acceptable even to this day.
All that being said, and I'm not a big time punter, the few times when I've visited a prostitute, I've found many of them to be incredibly well-adusted human beings who are products/victims of circumstances. And for a lonely soul like me, it's just as painful because I know that if I was in a relationship with them, I'd protect them from all this. But that's another story altogether.
What have I said that comes to any conclusion of sorts? Well nothing really except that I think the issues why women get into prostitution need to be addressed. If a woman has to resort to prostitution to feed her kids because social welfare payments aren't enough - then we have to look at social welfare payments, counselling etc. Easily said, not so easily done.
My ultimate hope is that I hope all women (and men for that matter) who undertake prostitution to make ends meet are sober enough to invest their money well enough so they can leave it and make a return to normal albeit not as well-paying means to make a living.
"
Farm Boy 2
Legend Member
- Points
- 33
S
SilverSurfer44
Too general, most men would like it or they wouldnt go. Ehat are u hsving for breakfast, you choose what u like
C
Crimson Idol No More
D
Don't beat yourself up mate!
There are plenty of dog ugly women out there come to think of it there are plenty of prostitute's out there with a head like a smashed crab as well
Don't beat yourself up mate!
There are plenty of dog ugly women out there come to think of it there are plenty of prostitute's out there with a head like a smashed crab as well
S
SilverSurfer44
Sex is regarded as one of greatest pleasures if life, men wont feel bad but high in the sky
T
throwaway19
The perception is that it’s taking the shortcut because you can’t compete. Obviously that’s bunk.
There’s also the lack of validation that comes from a woman ‘choosing’ you. But living to please others .... aren’t we taught that’s exactly not what to do? Our norms are confused in this area.
There’s also the lack of validation that comes from a woman ‘choosing’ you. But living to please others .... aren’t we taught that’s exactly not what to do? Our norms are confused in this area.
krediant
Bronze Member
- Points
- 0
I couldn't agree more with Pluck A Duck's first comment. It all comes down to social conditioning and seeking others approval. I used to be like that until I read the book "The Manipulated Man". I'm still working on that myself.
