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What drives a working girl (prostitute) ?

I suppose one or more of the ladies I've seen could have been on drugs, but if so, they hid it remarkably well. I would never proceed with a booking if there was the slightest hint she was out of it, either through narcotics or alcohol (though I acknowledge some people are very adept at concealing this). Similarly, if she seemed OK but I noticed track marks or whatever (to use a tired old cliché), I would exit pronto.

My position is based on my own health and safety as well as not wanting to support somebody's drug habit. I try my darnedest not to be one of 'those' stereotypical exploitative punters so would steer clear of anyone in the game for this reason.
 
AxeMan said:
Doesn't that question go both ways? You reckon they are all on drugs but if they don't advertise how would you know?
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Because like I said I know more than quite a few.. as in not as a client
 
Lyla Rose said:
I think it's important to point out, before getting into anything else, that the vast majority of people work for money and wouldn't keep going to their jobs if they didn't get paid or didn't need the money. Also, that a lot of people hate their jobs. I'm very happy to say that I'm not one of them. Of course there are lots of clients I wouldn't sleep with if I didn't get paid, then there are those that I do genuinely find myself attracted to, and mostly my clients are people I wouldn't sleep with in my every day life but end up having a great time with.

I'm relatively new to the industry, so I can't comment on long term effects. My experience has been that this job has been no more of less detrimental to my mental health than any other job I've had. When I have had a really bad time with a client (which has happened once) I simply told my manger that I needed some down time and couldn't work my shift the next day and it was all okay. I have found this industry, as female dominated as it is, to be a breath of fresh air compared to the male dominated industry that I came from.

I'd also really challenge the idea that you cannot have a fulfilling relationship whilst doing this week. My partner is incredibly supportive, and I am completely open with everything I do. He hopes that I get good clients, have a good time, and make lots of money, and wishes me a good shift when I go to work. There are lots of legitimate reasons to not have a partner, but I think that not wanting to drag someone else into what you consider to be an awful existence says a lot more about the person saying that than it does the industry.

There is no one size fits all answer to the question of what it's like to be a sex worker (which is absolutely the word you want to be using, a sex worker can call themselves whatever they like, everyone else should be calling them a sex worker). Almost every industry imaginable exists on a spectrum. You could be a high end tailor or you could work in a sweatshop, you you could be a chef in a winery or you could make burgers at MacDonald's. We, as a society, recognise that there is no one answer to what it's like to work in garment construction, or to work in hospitality. To ask what drives someone in these industries sounds like a ridiculous question because it is. There will never be one true answer to what drives a working lady. It's a personal experience, and experiences will vary.
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I think that Lyla is spot on.

It is always dangerous to generalize (except when you are generalizing about generalizing !), and everything that has been said here about sex workers could easily be said about people in lots of other industries as well.

Almost all FIFO workers would rather be going home at night, but the money is too good - and then many who are not mentally prepared for the life suffer depression and others piss away their money so that at the end of their contracts there is nothing to show for all the pain and effort, so they sign on again, ....

I have a young relative who works at a checkout, and hates it with a passion. She says that they treat her like dirt, expect her to know every product in the store, are rude and demanding- and that's just the staff ! She feels trapped financially, and the study that the checkout work was supposed to pay for has fallen away, and now she has no career ahead of her, and little to show for it. A very depressed young lady.

On the other hand, early in my punting career, I was lucky enough to meet a sex worker who had reached her goal and left the industry. She had what she described as a 'great day job', but then missed something about her old life. Her solution was to accept occasional punts on a part time basis when and with whom she wanted to.
I was lucky enough to be one of those few (from everything she said and everything I saw, i felt convinced she was telling the truth, but .... ), and got to see her very nice apartment which was clearly very much a home, lived in, not just a place of work. I only saw her when I got to town, and if she felt like it. She claimed to only have about a dozen clients left each of whom she saw a few times a year, so about two on average a month. I would pay for the hour, and after the hour was up and we had both showered, she would often offer me a drink, and we would sit and chat - on one occasion for almost three hours before I had to go. Clearly not a time watcher, nor someone who had to keep herself available for another client in that evening.
She claimed that she did not need the money, and from the look of the apartment and the things in it, I believed her. I saw her for about three years, then she went back east to look after her very sick mother.
She was someone who was very much in control of every aspect of her life. She started sex work when she wanted to in order to pay her way through Uni. She left when she had achieved what she set out to achieve, and when she felt a little nostalgia for the 'old days', she created a situation where she could have the best of both worlds.
I think she just liked the 'naughtiness' of it, as well as the feeling of thumbing her nose at society's 'moral standards', which she often said were not 'moral' at all.
She certainly wasn't in it for the sex as I was one of her lucky clients and I am no star in the bedroom !

Sorry for the long post, but all people make decisions, some are mistakes and some are not. Sex work is a little more sensitive than most others, but I am not sure that you can blame the industry when so much depends on the personality of the worker.

Just my thoughts.
 
Sunyun
I work fifo
and the LAST thing I want is to be home every night
money is ok but not all non fifo think it is.
for me its about the cleaning and cooking done for me. The free gym and pool. The fantastic scenery
the 7 days off every fortnight the 5 weeks holidays a year. And no daily traffick grind
 
We are all different, I work from home and love it
I guess it helps when home covers 7500 acres
 
bushseeker said:
Sunyun
I work fifo
and the LAST thing I want is to be home every night
money is ok but not all non fifo think it is.
for me its about the cleaning and cooking done for me. The free gym and pool. The fantastic scenery
the 7 days off every fortnight the 5 weeks holidays a year. And no daily traffick grind
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Too true about the traffic

Every time I get to Perth I am reminded why I like living up north.

I am not FIFO, I am FI - stay !
 
Reading through this thread the first thing I thought was that the discussion mirrors the typical opinion of the majority of society. Why is it so important to get out of the industry? Why is it so important what "drives" us? It sounds like all the girls are working in the industry are doomed or unable to get a "normal" job. If you consider the industry just as any other career you wouldn't think like that or did you ever wonder why waitresses or cleaners or executives are still doing what they are doing, wondering what drives them and if they are taking drugs? Don't take me wrong, drugs are shit and I would hate to be examined by a doctor on drugs or advised by a lawyer who is out of it. Yes there are drugs around but unfortunately drugs around in every other industry as well. People work on drugs regardless what industry they are in......sad but true.
So to cut a long story short if people are able to regard the industry as any other industry then we will be treated and respected as any other industry. Until then we have to live the double life and justify our motives.
 
Rochelle of Langtrees said:
Reading through this thread the first thing I thought was that the discussion mirrors the typical opinion of the majority of society. Why is it so important to get out of the industry? Why is it so important what "drives" us? It sounds like all the girls are working in the industry are doomed or unable to get a "normal" job. If you consider the industry just as any other career you wouldn't think like that or did you ever wonder why waitresses or cleaners or executives are still doing what they are doing, wondering what drives them and if they are taking drugs? Don't take me wrong, drugs are shit and I would hate to be examined by a doctor on drugs or advised by a lawyer who is out of it. Yes there are drugs around but unfortunately drugs around in every other industry as well. People work on drugs regardless what industry they are in......sad but true.
So to cut a long story short if people are able to regard the industry as any other industry then we will be treated and respected as any other industry. Until then we have to live the double life and justify our motives.
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Very good points.

Perhaps you should start the companion thread: what drives a punter...
 
As a 'newbie' I am very conscious of the less than perfect emotional scarring that is more than often portrayed by essentially the media, (misleadingly) on behalf of the WL.
I have been previously exploited by Corporate bullying, where uplines where driven by the thought of their next KPI, target or shareholder return, and have had no regard for quality, efficient and loyal Managers and even employees.
There is a fundamental word in any industry or life decision and that is choice.
We choose a path
We choose to either pursue that path or not.
On that path we have many variables and parameters that are not equal and change all the time. Developing your own thinking to accept and be malleable to adapt to these situations whilst protecting our most raw and precious commodity, our brain, is essential
I am excited to be in control of my life choices, if those choices cause me angst then I will have the chance and ability to again chose my path.
 
Many people would not do their job if they did not get paid, and sex workers are no different. However, research shows that the majority of sex workers view their work positively, report it improved their lives and self-esteem, and 70% say they would choose this work again if they had to live their lives over. We like our work! (click the link ;)) Jobs like working in a nursing home or as a waitress are shown to be more emotionally taxing. The overwhelming majority of problems surrounding prostitution are caused by laws that target and discriminate sex workers. Us sex workers need rights, not rescue ;).

New directions in research on prostitution by Ronald Weitzer (Crime, Law & Social Change (2005) 43: 211–235) is a good place to delve into research on prostitution.

Sex work always appealed to me. It's nice work, you're intimate with people, give and receive pleasure, bring happiness into the world! I don't have to accept anything I don't like, don't have to accept any disrespect (like I had to in other service jobs). It's good money, flexible hours, I just love it.

The downside isn't the clients or other girls or even the business. It's the outside world. That's the only thing that ever causes me stress. Whorephobic prostitution-punishing outside world that does not respect MY right to do what I want with MY body. Ugh :(.
 
The downside of the industry would be the scums as someone has mentioned before. The scums are the black sheep of the industry, the scums that trafficked the ladies illegally, being abusive towards the ladies, treating them badly...and some cases underage girls...these are just bad, very bad.

There are downside in other industries too, and not to mention govt with their *hush hush* corruptions. Scums are everywhere really...but the sex industry ones are more publicized than others.
 
FionaFields said:
Many people would not do their job if they did not get paid, and sex workers are no different. However, research shows that the majority of sex workers view their work positively, report it improved their lives and self-esteem, and 70% say they would choose this work again if they had to live their lives over. We like our work! (click the link ;)) Jobs like working in a nursing home or as a waitress are shown to be more emotionally taxing. The overwhelming majority of problems surrounding prostitution are caused by laws that target and discriminate sex workers. Us sex workers need rights, not rescue ;).

New directions in research on prostitution by Ronald Weitzer (Crime, Law & Social Change (2005) 43: 211–235) is a good place to delve into research on prostitution.

Sex work always appealed to me. It's nice work, you're intimate with people, give and receive pleasure, bring happiness into the world! I don't have to accept anything I don't like, don't have to accept any disrespect (like I had to in other service jobs). It's good money, flexible hours, I just love it.

The downside isn't the clients or other girls or even the business. It's the outside world. That's the only thing that ever causes me stress. Whorephobic prostitution-punishing outside world that does not respect MY right to do what I want with MY body. Ugh :(.
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Well said dear Fiona.....
 
FionaFields said:
Many people would not do their job if they did not get paid, and sex workers are no different. However, research shows that the majority of sex workers view their work positively, report it improved their lives and self-esteem, and 70% say they would choose this work again if they had to live their lives over. We like our work! (click the link ;)) Jobs like working in a nursing home or as a waitress are shown to be more emotionally taxing. The overwhelming majority of problems surrounding prostitution are caused by laws that target and discriminate sex workers. Us sex workers need rights, not rescue ;).

New directions in research on prostitution by Ronald Weitzer (Crime, Law & Social Change (2005) 43: 211–235) is a good place to delve into research on prostitution.

Sex work always appealed to me. It's nice work, you're intimate with people, give and receive pleasure, bring happiness into the world! I don't have to accept anything I don't like, don't have to accept any disrespect (like I had to in other service jobs). It's good money, flexible hours, I just love it.

The downside isn't the clients or other girls or even the business. It's the outside world. That's the only thing that ever causes me stress. Whorephobic prostitution-punishing outside world that does not respect MY right to do what I want with MY body. Ugh :(.
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Hi, As my girlfriend is a WL we have talked about the industry. Fiona is right about the biggest problem for her being how others see her profession. It does limit her socially, but she has some good friends that are WLs and a few other close friends and some family support. As Fiona states, those outside the industry that are critical need to learn to respect that being a WL is a career choice and treat those working in the industry with the same respect they would a person working in any other profession. As for my girlfriend's motivation it is a combination of the financial rewards, flexibility of hours, building her business, meeting some interesting people (of course there are the bad days as with other jobs), investing and securing her future. She has children from a previous relationship with little support from her ex, so she wants the best education for them. I have offered to help, but she is very independent and I respect her choice to retain that independence by having her own income. From my perspective. I would not try to change her in any way and respect her right to live her life as she wants to. We support each other emotionally and I would not want to be without her in my life. She is very special and I love her very much.
 
Ozrock said:
Hi, As my girlfriend is a WL we have talked about the industry. Fiona is right about the biggest problem for her being how others see her profession. It does limit her socially, but she has some good friends that are WLs and a few other close friends and some family support. As Fiona states, those outside the industry that are critical need to learn to respect that being a WL is a career choice and treat those working in the industry with the same respect they would a person working in any other profession. As for my girlfriend's motivation it is a combination of the financial rewards, flexibility of hours, building her business, meeting some interesting people (of course there are the bad days as with other jobs), investing and securing her future. She has children from a previous relationship with little support from her ex, so she wants the best education for them. I have offered to help, but she is very independent and I respect her choice to retain that independence by having her own income. From my perspective. I would not try to change her in any way and respect her right to live her life as she wants to. We support each other emotionally and I would not want to be without her in my life. She is very special and I love her very much.
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I would not try to change her in any way and respect her right to live her life as she wants to. We support each other emotionally and I would not want to be without her in my life. She is very special and I love her very much.


Well said Ozrock ! May you both have happy, long lasting relationship with each other !
 
Well if you think its anything good your dreaming
a lady I help often keeping her off the streets and fed. Recently she had her son for a bit so I gave her a room .
she never contemplated working but met a wl
in just 2 weeks she has spiralled to the bottom. Other lady ripped her off whenever possible
I went to see her in her rivervale hotel and she looked like shit . Hated herself. Just wanted drugs to continue.
I brought her food and another lady for company.
I straight away just knew if she cant turn it around she will die in that room (many ladys wont work there its been the last stop for many ladys)
She ended up goung psycotic at me and we left
I fear she will die there if she hasnt already
tears but people make choices
 
Bushseeker, you REALLY are making WL's look like they are down and out. Just remember, about 99.9% of us actually respect ourselves and respect this industry as a whole. All the ladies I know at LT's are here in the way Ozrock has explained so perfectly. Thankyou Ozrock!
 
I'm so sorry your friend is in so much trouble. It's always heartbreaking to see someone spiralling out of control :(. I once saw a friend go through the same thing, he started using drugs, hanging out with people who used him, losing touch with reality. He worked in a shop but yeah, it was horrible to see him go down like that. He eventually got some professional help and is doing a lot better now.

There is no denying that some people have a rough life. It doesn't seem sex workers are in any worse shape than 'the rest of us', but it doesn't matter what job they are in, it just breaks your heart.

Good on you for helping her. I do hope you'll help her arrange some professional help.
 
Bushseeker the story you have outlined is sad. However, from talking to my girlfriend she has seen a number of women that are just not suited to the work try it out for the wrong reasons. It sounds as though the woman you describe is not mentally prepared for the work. If the motivation is to get off the streets or to support a drug or alcohol problem that person is likely to suffer and not be able to cope. However, that is not specific to WL, it is a problem for people in a whole range of jobs that are not mentally prepared for their work and use drugs to cope.
With my girlfriend she is a well educated smart business women that is in full control of her life and does not do drugs. She has plans, has a great work ethic and meets her responsibilities to her family. As Morgan has said, many WL respect themselves and have a work-life balance the same as any other worker. There are always examples of people who struggle in life for a range of reasons, but they are distributed right across the community and in all professions. It is good to hear from Morgan that most of the WL at LT are like I described for my girlfriend. I wish them all every success in life.
 
morgansapphire0 said:
Bushseeker, you REALLY are making WL's look like they are down and out. Just remember, about 99.9% of us actually respect ourselves and respect this industry as a whole.!
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99.9%! In the words of John McEnroe "You can't be serious".
It's okay to be defensive when a confronting opinion challenges your own beliefs, but don't blow your argument by claiming 99.9%.

Mental health issues are a society and community problem as a whole and it's naive to think that any industry is free from metal health and drug issues.
 
There is no doubt that sex work is sometimes difficult and emotionally demanding - as are many other jobs.

But so much depends on what the individual brings to the job. If he/she already has problems (mental health, drugs, maturity, family, corruption, etc. - and that's just for politicians !), then demanding jobs will always make things worse.

If a person comes to the job with a good attitude, a business plan, and is mentally prepared for some difficult times (and that's just for politicians !), then he/she has a good chance of doing well and achieving his/her aims.

Unfortunately, not all of us are in the right job.
 
And also there's the well adjusted person who has made a choice for herself To get a start in life To pay Uni To make a good life for her and her kids Or just simply found a niche for herself And has started in a safe enviroment Like a Langtrees for example ,when getting into the industry
And then others who have come in to the business through desperation or coersion or simply bad choices and started in at a far harsher meaner level Im sure there are many unfortunate young men and women who befall this fate through no fault of there own And dont be surprised if far more tham 0.1% of them are victims of drugs even if used as a escape from their day to day lives
 
There certainly is mixed comments about what drives a WL. And believe me when I say that I have wanted to throw in the towel a few times. But really, it doesn't matter what any of us do for a living, there are a lot of people around us that have problems, including myself.
And Bushseeker, I'm not saying that this industry is immune to these sad stories, but there are lots of people out there in different jobs who have similar stories.
I do feel sad for this friend of yours, and I hope she can be helped back on her feet. I wish her all the best.
 
From what I have seen/experienced/suffered/etc.......

Simple in the beginning....money....money for an endless possibility ofreasons.


And when and if the money goals or challenges are resolved. ............



After a while...........it is complex........ no real reason......... but many possibilities that are identity based......... they themselves may not know.......



Not speaking for all......just what I have seen and experienced
 
Zeus said:
So I was reading this article - http://sciencenordic.com/what-drives-prostitute

At the end of the article is a comment from a W/L.
I think it is quite upsetting and I was wondering whether this was a true reflection of the industry.

Would love to read your comments.

Here is the letter.

I have been in the escorting world for the last five years and it is not a profession I would recommend to anyone. Although I have met lovely people along my journey and the fast money has assisted in fulfilling financial goals, the emotional toll of this profession is immensely high and albeit, very difficult to put into words. All my life I had aspired to be a wife and work in the health industry so failing so miserably at 2 major life ambitions before age 25 was devastating. I still can't identify how or why, but a short time later I ended up dabbling in the escorting industry. At first I was elated as it seemed that this was the first thing in my life where I actually attained success-clients seemed to enjoy my company (despite what some people still believe, there is much more to escorting than mere sex), I got a great flow of regulars, travelled around Australia on tours and for the first time, actually felt like what I was doing was making a difference in people's lives. I developed a holistic bond with many of my clients, many of whom had endured health conditions and marriage break - ups themselves. Not surprisingly, I found I connected better with clients at least decade older than me. It was all rosy at first and escorting facilitated a few, namely financial goals. However, five years later I want more than anything to leave the industry, I'm completely warn out, feel used and abused, watched my friends get married, have babies, fulfil career aspirations whilst vicariously wishing that was me. I have not had a partner in over 5 years, I guess I just want to protect people I love from this world- it would not be fair to drag a partner into it. However, depression issues, feeling completely directionless with my life, not to mention an incomplete education, has left me feeling that there is no way forward. I have no idea what the future holds or how I will get out of the rut I'm in now....I dream of being happy, one day married with children and in a fulfilling career....right now I feel like I'm at the end of road and I don't know how to cultivate the energy or even where to start in fulfilling other endeavours- I guess I just feel like everything has been taken from me and I have nothing left to give. Although escorting may seem like a quick fix, or even like a glamorous alternative to the norm I urge anyone who is considering this profession to please, please seek an alternative path. Escorting causes inextricable damage and your life will never be the same again-trust me I know xx
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-
Reading this is really eye opening- I feel like this could be myself in 5 years. I am new to the industry having been in the exact same boat as the author. It is elating right now and in agreeance that there is much more to escorting than great sex. I do feel now like the author that it is the only option in life where I have been able to attain that feeling of success and also the financial side of it makes it very difficult to reason rationally.
I too, failed at life aspirations before 25 I have children as well however watching others grow within their own relationships and families is something I think we all as humans long for. to be apart of something. to feel wanted.
Im curious to know if this woman ever re entered a relationship after working in the industry as even as a beginner it distorts the view of monogamist relationships.
As a person who experiences like the author depression I can relate to the emotion that this person feels. It is all ok now, but like she said in 5 or 10 years, what will the damage be...I guess different motives behind everyone's working life but it does break me a little to read that this is a very real scenario and that it could very well be me...
#Youneverknowuntilyouknow.....
 
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