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What drives a working girl (prostitute) ?

Zeus

Zeus

Patron Saint of Werewolves
Diamond Member
So I was reading this article - http://sciencenordic.com/what-drives-prostitute

At the end of the article is a comment from a W/L.
I think it is quite upsetting and I was wondering whether this was a true reflection of the industry.

Would love to read your comments.

Here is the letter.

I have been in the escorting world for the last five years and it is not a profession I would recommend to anyone. Although I have met lovely people along my journey and the fast money has assisted in fulfilling financial goals, the emotional toll of this profession is immensely high and albeit, very difficult to put into words. All my life I had aspired to be a wife and work in the health industry so failing so miserably at 2 major life ambitions before age 25 was devastating. I still can't identify how or why, but a short time later I ended up dabbling in the escorting industry. At first I was elated as it seemed that this was the first thing in my life where I actually attained success-clients seemed to enjoy my company (despite what some people still believe, there is much more to escorting than mere sex), I got a great flow of regulars, travelled around Australia on tours and for the first time, actually felt like what I was doing was making a difference in people's lives. I developed a holistic bond with many of my clients, many of whom had endured health conditions and marriage break - ups themselves. Not surprisingly, I found I connected better with clients at least decade older than me. It was all rosy at first and escorting facilitated a few, namely financial goals. However, five years later I want more than anything to leave the industry, I'm completely warn out, feel used and abused, watched my friends get married, have babies, fulfil career aspirations whilst vicariously wishing that was me. I have not had a partner in over 5 years, I guess I just want to protect people I love from this world- it would not be fair to drag a partner into it. However, depression issues, feeling completely directionless with my life, not to mention an incomplete education, has left me feeling that there is no way forward. I have no idea what the future holds or how I will get out of the rut I'm in now....I dream of being happy, one day married with children and in a fulfilling career....right now I feel like I'm at the end of road and I don't know how to cultivate the energy or even where to start in fulfilling other endeavours- I guess I just feel like everything has been taken from me and I have nothing left to give. Although escorting may seem like a quick fix, or even like a glamorous alternative to the norm I urge anyone who is considering this profession to please, please seek an alternative path. Escorting causes inextricable damage and your life will never be the same again-trust me I know xx
 
I know a couple of w/l's as friends only - never as clients, and my best and closest friend is an ex w/l who spent 2 years in a MP. What they have told me mirrors this, with my best friend telling me how horribly abused she felt and I now see the PTSD that she's battled since she got out and held her when she's had nightmares and woke crying and terrified, and yet another friend telling me that she only worked part time as a private Escort and had a few select clients and it was like being paid to date which she did for fun for a couple of years until she paid off her Uni degree then retired.

So to answer your question, I don't know to what extent it's a reflection of the industry but my guess is that many will be affected like the woman in your article while others will be fine with it, and then others like my friend will really feel abused by it.
 
Reading Zeus' article I believe this lady made two fundamental mistakes:

She fell into the industry without a long-term plan.

She stayed in it too long.

The smart girls go in knowing what they want to achieve and start planing their exit strategy and working and saving towards it from day one. It may be finishing school/university or gaining a trade certificate but they know that they cannot work as escorts for ever and plan accordingly.

They let the industry work for them not use them up and burn them out.
 
It would be naive to think that this is a view held by only a small minority of WLs. Just think of all the dickheads you have had to work with and then think; what if you didn't just have to be in the same room as them but you had to have sex with them and pretend to like it?

I'm not saying that all clients are dickheads. But many would not be nice, or respectful, or polite etc.

It must be acknowledged I think that this is an industry the effects of which are definitely capable of having a severely negative impact on a person.

But at the end of the day everyone must make their own personal choices and find a way to cope in life with the choices they have made.
 
svengali said:
Reading Zeus' article I believe this lady made two fundamental mistakes:

She fell into the industry without a long-term plan.

She stayed in it too long.

The smart girls go in knowing what they want to achieve and start planing their exit strategy and working and saving towards it from day one. It may be finishing school/university or gaining a trade certificate but they know that they cannot work as escorts for ever and plan accordingly.

They let the industry work for them not use them up and burn them out.
Click to expand...


I agree that's the best way fro a W/L to go Svengali but in reality how how many actually do that? Maybe 5%?
Most go into the business with at best a vague plan in mind, merely seduced by the opportunity to make big $$$$$
 
funflyer said:
I agree that's the best way fro a W/L to go Svengali but in reality how how many actually do that? Maybe 5%?
Most go into the business with at best a vague plan in mind, merely seduced by the opportunity to make big $$$$$
Click to expand...
One W/L I see regularly is only in it for the money and doesn't particularly like her job and is quite the actress.....she must be to put up with me....or is my generosity she's infatuated with??
 
happy2 said:
What drives a prostitute?
Who drives a Working Lady is the better wording surely?
I mean I'm sure Driver Harry and his colleagues don't need to be referred to as what. :D
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I would thought a 6 wheeled limousine and a chauffeur would drive the W/L nicely to her destination.
 
I really respect the original poster of this. Some people may talk about money, some will talk about being overly sexual and they enjoy their play time, some may say she didn't go into the industry in a smart way, some may make some random jokes. I have dabbled as a punter for several years and in fact it has been one of my worst addictions. Due to a couple of reasons I'm leaving it and now this post is my farewell to it. I'll share a perspective and short story as to why.

I met someone in the not too distant past who was a beautiful, intelligent and amazing girl and got to know her quite well. However during our friendship she had to face the incredibly sad and personal event of the passing of a parent. She also said a lot around the time how she was so scared of "something" and it was complicated. Suddenly she changed over night and became very distant and I was so worried about her from afar; as I'm sure others who cared were too.

Quite some time passed and I eventually discovered she had become severely dis-associative and understood it'd been something she had struggled with on and on for some years. The passing and the complicated grief however triggered the dis-associative disorder to a new level and I found out she had been working in prostitution for over a year since the passing.

To me it was heart breaking to see someone who I cared for fall into a period of distress but know it's her life and personal journey. I remember seeing into her shaky eyes one day when we spoke and she was so scared of herself and her emotions. This view of her eyes sometimes comes into my mind even till this day and I remember that I miss her and hope she is okay. It upsets me a lot to think about how many out there are facing their own distress and losing battles with personal demons and sometimes mental illness. Our sense of self and reality can change so easily to cope with serious things and it's trivial to push aside the complexities of addiction or undermine how mental health affects us all. I know I'm saying some things many of us know; we do things in life because sometimes we have to, we all have our phases and paths we must experience, but also sometimes life just sucks balls too.

The poster said many honest points and showed a lot of courage sharing openly their own weaknesses and lessons. I'm sure others reading can relate to it even if they've brushed aside the points because they apparently know themselves better. Who really goes into this industry with a proper plan fully self aware of themselves? It'd be naive and delusional to think we ever do actually. I honestly have a quiet prayer every day for my friend and hope she finds the strength to move forward to the next chapter in her life soon.

And guys, this world of punting is never black and white. When you see a review about a girl who had a porn-star like performance, what is really going on? I respect we all have our needs and how sexuality is important, but just for a second imagine she's your friend or your girlfriend or even your daughter, and you know there's something else going on deep down and she's not just a nymphomaniac. What if you knew she drinks most nights alone and she's distanced herself from those close to her who care and who worry daily about her. What if you knew many parts of her life before she started her "personal work" have been falling apart. Imagine how there'd be guys who are in reality passing strangers who don't truly care about her writing about having to take her for a spin. Or if they've seen her recently filling in a form ranking different facets of her looks, attitude and performance.

Punting for some years was certainly an important part of my life but it's also time to move on. This experience I'm sharing really expanded my view on this world and I wish everyone well. People are very complicated and the world is never black and white. It honestly breaks my heart to think my friend is deep down scared and alone. The world would feel so much brighter suddenly if I got a message from her saying she is feeling a bit better and she is moving forward positively. And if I ever got to see her again, I'd give her the biggest hug possible and drag her out for a drink.

Thanks for reading and farewell.
 
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From many years of my experience at least it comes down to two things,

Money, this one is pretty obvious not many other ways a woman can make very decent money in such a short time

Ego, this one often offends, but some girls really get off on the attention,you're so beautiful, the i love you's, the let me take you away from all this,the life style etc etc
 
Over the years I have seen heaps of ladies come & go.....
There are those who came to work for a specific time & reasons & they
were focused & did what they had to do then left to pursue their other goals ...
A lot paid up their fees & left uni with a clean slate and a good degree...

I have seen a few of them in their new jobs relishing.....

There are also the other side of the coin.... where girls say they are leaving, then
come back and have not been focus enough to achieve what they set out to do ..
 
So is it the case that you are either focussed on achieving a goal and use the industry as a means to an end OR you are an aimless wanderer who gets lost, depressed and bitter once stuck in the industry?

Is there never an end within the industry worth focussing on? In simple terms, is it not possible to have a career in this industry?
 
There are also ladies who have a highly skilled degree, work in that industry, love it, but also enjoys this industry and all it has taught and brought her! ;)
I empathise with people who cannot deal with their emotions and who let it get the better of them. Emotional stress is apparent in any industry though. Your experiences are what you make of them.
 
Pepper said:
There are also ladies who have a highly skilled degree, work in that industry, love it, but also enjoys this industry and all it has taught and brought her! ;)
I empathise with people who cannot deal with their emotions and who let it get the better of them. Emotional stress is apparent in any industry though. Your experiences are what you make of them.
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Very well put.
 
I think it's important to point out, before getting into anything else, that the vast majority of people work for money and wouldn't keep going to their jobs if they didn't get paid or didn't need the money. Also, that a lot of people hate their jobs. I'm very happy to say that I'm not one of them. Of course there are lots of clients I wouldn't sleep with if I didn't get paid, then there are those that I do genuinely find myself attracted to, and mostly my clients are people I wouldn't sleep with in my every day life but end up having a great time with.

I'm relatively new to the industry, so I can't comment on long term effects. My experience has been that this job has been no more of less detrimental to my mental health than any other job I've had. When I have had a really bad time with a client (which has happened once) I simply told my manger that I needed some down time and couldn't work my shift the next day and it was all okay. I have found this industry, as female dominated as it is, to be a breath of fresh air compared to the male dominated industry that I came from.

I'd also really challenge the idea that you cannot have a fulfilling relationship whilst doing this week. My partner is incredibly supportive, and I am completely open with everything I do. He hopes that I get good clients, have a good time, and make lots of money, and wishes me a good shift when I go to work. There are lots of legitimate reasons to not have a partner, but I think that not wanting to drag someone else into what you consider to be an awful existence says a lot more about the person saying that than it does the industry.

There is no one size fits all answer to the question of what it's like to be a sex worker (which is absolutely the word you want to be using, a sex worker can call themselves whatever they like, everyone else should be calling them a sex worker). Almost every industry imaginable exists on a spectrum. You could be a high end tailor or you could work in a sweatshop, you you could be a chef in a winery or you could make burgers at MacDonald's. We, as a society, recognise that there is no one answer to what it's like to work in garment construction, or to work in hospitality. To ask what drives someone in these industries sounds like a ridiculous question because it is. There will never be one true answer to what drives a working lady. It's a personal experience, and experiences will vary.
 
This is just a funny video about a HOE RESUME........
its hilarious because it makes sense in lots of ways......


 
Ive met more than alot of WL.
and without doubt the number one driver for them to work....
is drugs
in alot of cases the drug use started from abuse but quickly took over
 
I read the article below and I believe to be in this industry, you need need to be very strong emotionally and to not take anything personally. You also need to have some idea of a goal you need or wish to achieve and stay focused the whole time. Give yourself an approximate exit date, because more often than not , an exit date can take a little longer than anticipated. Enjoy the social aspect , whether it be from other WL's or clients. And never rely or become addicted to any substance, whether it be alcohol or drugs. If this begins to happen, leave for a break so that the reliance is not there.
If, at any time you just can't cope with this industry, give it up and think of something else to do.
 
bushseeker said:
Ive met more than alot of WL.
and without doubt the number one driver for them to work....
is drugs
in alot of cases the drug use started from abuse but quickly took over
Click to expand...

This is something I hear a lot but from my own experience it is not true of the majority of the parlour girls I saw during my punting career. Most decently run houses would not risk having addicts working on their premises.
 
svengali said:
This is something I hear a lot but from my own experience it is not true of the majority of the parlour girls I saw during my punting career. Most decently run houses would not risk having addicts working on their premises.
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Agreed. From what I've gathered there's more punters on the gear than WLs. At least whilst the mining boom was in full swing.
 
svengali said:
This is something I hear a lot but from my own experience it is not true of the majority of the parlour girls I saw during my punting career. Most decently run houses would not risk having addicts working on their premises.
Click to expand...
Agreed, with the couple of places I visit. They have too much to lose.
 
svengali said:
This is something I hear a lot but from my own experience it is not true of the majority of the parlour girls I saw during my punting career. Most decently run houses would not risk having addicts working on their premises.
Click to expand...
How would you know?
Its not exactly something that they advertise
 
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