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To see a working girl or not!!!!!

P

Perth boy

A mate told me last night he was thinking of seeing a W/L. He is married for over 30 years and has never been with another girl. You see his wife was his 1st and they have been together since high school. He was telling me he loves his wife but just wants to try another lady before he gets too old. He asked me what he should do, he also asked if I had ever been with a W/L and I told him no.

I told him this is something he needs to decide on himself and that’s as far as it went. I am thinking of discussing this with him again over the weekend. I was going to tell him he shouldn’t do it if he loves his wife.
The real reason being is that I feel once he does it he will get addicted like some of us.

What’s your thoughts or just leave it up to him.
 
Ahoy, leave it up to him. Each person needs to come to terms with their own decisions and any consquences from their decision. You can tell this guy, most of us mature blokes would say he has been a really lucky guy in life, in fact I would say he has been very , very lucky in life. Now where did I put that Rum Glass?
 
The fact that he is even thinking about it is disturbing. How would he feel if his wife did the same thing?
 
A very hard one. I do not condone him wanting to try another lady but on another note, if he decides to, better with a WL (safe sex etc) than to have a one night stand or an affair. If it was my husband, I would chop it off,,if he didn't let me join in! ;)
 
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You are right Perthboy. Punting can be rather addictive ;) Once you pop you can't stop lol sorry that is a pringles ad :P

He may find that as he has only been with the one woman, once the door open to this new experience, he may go through a period to try to make up for lost time
 
asianguy77 said:
You are right Perthboy. Punting can be rather addictive ;) Once you pop you can't stop lol sorry that is a pringles ad :p

He may find that as he has only been with the one woman, once the door open to this new experience, he may go through a period to try to make up for lost time
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Hmmm, for all we know his wife may be an absolute dynamo in bed, she may be kinky and without a doubt knows exactly how he likes it. He may be dissappointed in a new experience. Let's face facts here, he has been with her for 30 years, they obviously have something pretty special. His guilt may destroy the relationship more than the cheat with a WL. But then again he might get it out of his system and not do it again. Could go many ways.

Yes I'm fence sitting lol
 
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Tania said:
Hmmm, for all we know his wife may be an absolute dynamo in bed, she may be kinky and without a doubt knows exactly how he likes it. He may be dissappointed in a new experience. Let's face facts here, he has been with her for 30 years, they obviously have something pretty special. His guilt may destroy the relationship more than the cheat with a WL. But then again he might get it out of his system and not do it again. Could go many ways.

Yes I'm fence sitting lol
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Yes indeed. Too many variables to predict the outcome. Guess the grass maybe greener on the other side of fence, so he maybe forever lookin over unless he ventures over
 
Wow...a difficult one. Like the previous posts, if his first time happens to be a good one, he might get hooked to it and eventually might affect his marriage but if he has a bad experience, he may not do it again but will be having the guilt for making such a decision. At the same time, if doesnt do it at all....he will forever be thinking abt it.

Personally as a friend, you know him better than us. If he is the sort of person who is self controlled in things he do...then maybe he should do it. If not, better dont do it. Also, you might wanna suggest him to do it(if he wants to) couple of months later. Atleast by then, he would have thought abt it long and hard and may decide to dumb the idea altogether.

P.S. 30 yrs of marriage isnt something u wanna gamble with just bcos ur penis got an itch.
 
Maybe I`ve just been lucky in my punting life and have only good experiences but what if you somehow got him to try one of those shonky places we have all been reading about recently. Maybe you could pretend it`s your first time as well and go with him. That is of course if you can be sure he would never dob you in...
 
I think this guy is playing with fire.

O.K., he could probably get away with it once or twice but unless they are filthy rich the money he is diverting towards his own entertainment will soon enough become an issue. Also, women are not easily fooled long-term - female intuition is very real. If he has any decency he will feel some remorse after the event and I would be very surprised if his wife didn't pick up on it and start asking questions.

Unless he is a really good liar he would be better off being content with what he has.
 
I agree about women's intuition. A friend recently was trying to organize a surprise birthday party for his girlfriend. She somehow started to get suspicious about what he was up to, and he had to spill it.

No wonder guys can never be spontaneous!!!!! :P jk

So, what happened. Did he end up seeing a W/L? or maybe he has seen more than one by now..... hrmmmmmmm
 
It's not about sex.

I was married for 20 years, and never even thought about a WL because it was not about sex, it was about the loving experience.

If it was just about sex, then he could watch a porno and wank in the shower.

If he is looking elsewhere, then he should look carefully at his relationship, and rather than looking for a WL, perhaps he should be taking his wife to a counselor BEFORE the cracks in the relationship become obvious. I should have !

Just my thoughts.
 
Maybe you should suggest they both see a w/l so the moment is shared together or attend swingers parties.

Your friend seeing a w/l doesn't mean he loves his wife any less. It is completely normal for us to be sexually attracted to others, whether or not we act on it is a different thing. Tell him to stop beating himself up as there is no reason to believe monogamy comes naturally to human beings.

We should address the conflicting sad/hurt feeling we also get when the person we love and share intimacy, becomes intimate with someone else (unfaithful). It seems we have a conflicting instinct to want our partners to only be intimate with us (even while we ourselves experience attraction to others). I think nature just plays one bad joke on mankind. Simultaneously making us long for loving monogamous relationships intellectually, but physically making us crave variety. It stinks!

Every relationship is different just like every person and their logic of thinking. I personally don't believe in monogamy, if my husband and I want to have sex with others we let eachother know, but that is all it is to us.....sex. I still have his heart just like he has mine. All the other partner/s get is our bodies. I would however, be upset if he hid having sex with others from me. I trust him and he trust me. It's just sex at the end of the day.... sex, not love.

Your friend needs to be in the right frame of mind before seeing a w/l so the guilt doesn't end him up.
 
I think a 30 year relationship is not worth risking for a one night stand . Think carefully before taking the plunge into unknown territory ... thats my advice
 
Well the subject came up again on Sunday. He said he just carnt do it. He is beating him self up just on the thoughts he was having. Glad he didn't because I think mentally he just wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Thanks for all your comments.
 
Perth boy said:
Well the subject came up again on Sunday. He said he just carnt do it. He is beating him self up just on the thoughts he was having. Glad he didn't because I think mentally he just wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Thanks for all your comments.
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I just read through the thread and glad to hear he didn't do it.. 30 years of marriage is a long time and if it's the only girl he has been with the guilt may have destroyed him.
 
Perth boy said:
Well the subject came up again on Sunday. He said he just carnt do it. He is beating him self up just on the thoughts he was having. Glad he didn't because I think mentally he just wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Thanks for all your comments.
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Have you been truthful with your mate Perth Boy and told him you just might have seen a WL now and again?
 
Farm Boy said:
Have you been truthful with your mate Perth Boy and told him you just might have seen a WL now and again?
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FB since when have I Sean a W/L (excluding yesterday) LOL

And no I didnt tell him. I dont tell to many people about my punting ways except my online friends.
 
Paying a sex worker is the admission of defeat and is far from a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Only see a sex worker if you are really desperate. If you have any dignity and self respect avoid them.
 
Yet you've seen them yourself...

Starting to sound like you've been burnt
 
stovo82 said:
Paying a sex worker is the admission of defeat and is far from a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Only see a sex worker if you are really desperate. If you have any dignity and self respect avoid them.
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Years ago I worked with a man who declared he had never been in a brothel, not once but many times he stated this.
And guess what , he died in one.
 
Ahoy Stovo82;---Very naive response, personally I have seen W/L on and off all my adult life, because I choose to. Some of us may have a disability or a disadvantage of some kind, for example, living life in a wheel chair, living life with little self-worth or depression, not having a loving relationship of any form, or multiple failed marriages. I give thanks to a lot of W/L who choose their profession and all the good they do for others, this small fact is always commonly forgotten, but not by me!!!!! and not by other members of this forum.
Perth Boy;- all the best my Bro, I am glad your friend decided what was best for himself. As I said earlier in this thread, he is a lucky guy.
Do not judge a man or women lifestyle until you have walked a mile in their shoes
 
I'm old school when it comes to marriage. I'm with happy pirate he's a lucky guy.
 
stovo82 said:
Paying a sex worker is the admission of defeat and is far from a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Only see a sex worker if you are really desperate. If you have any dignity and self respect avoid them.
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Sorry to be negative. What a load of rubbish.
 
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