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COITUS INTERRUPTUS - What happened to Cleopatra when Marc Antony's friend entered the tent unannounced - " Coitus, why must you interrupt us,?" He asked.

SPANKING - A city in the north west of China. Characterised by a large suspension bridge over the River King.

WANKING - Close to Spanking, but populated by people who have rejected modern values and still use hand tools.
 
My, the wit is flying fast and furious this evening....Keep it going folks.
 
No racial prejudice intended... just a joke!

A Chineese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. :love76:

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. :love76: When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men. :laughing4
 
that was soooooooo funny.... i was relating to plenty of da mens ones coz i've seen wildfire do plenty of those things!!! ROFL!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!
 
wow, those were good wedding cakes!!The bakers could have been included too.
 
A married couple take their son to a nude beach for the first time on their trip to Europe.

When the kid gets there he sees all the naked men and asks "daddy what is that?"

The dad replies, "oh that's just a man's brain son, the bigger they are the stupider the men are."

"oh" the kid says.

About ten minutes later the boy runs up to his father and says,

" Daddy, daddy, Mommy's talking to a really stupid guy and as they're talking he's getting stupider and stupider!"
 
An old couple in an old folks home are having an affair, nothing much they just sit watching TV late at night while the old woman holds the old mans dick.

Then suddenly the old man ends the affair because of another woman.

The old woman’s distraught and yells, "WHAT'S THIS OTHER WOMAN GOT THAT I HAVEN'T!”

The old man smiles and says, "Parkinson’s disease."
 
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.

Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
 
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.

She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested,

"Your husband is 5 foot 4 inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."

The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
 
Blow up dolls

Two old men feeling they are close to their last days on earth
>>>>decided to
>>>>have a last night on the town. After a few drinks they end up at
>>>>the local
>>>>brothel.
>>>>
>>>>The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to
>>>>her manager,
>>>>"go up to the first two rooms and put an inflated doll in each
>>>>bed, I'm not
>>>>wasting two of my girls on them". These two are so old and drunk
>>>>they won't
>>>>know the difference."
>>>>
>>>>The two men go up the stairs and take care of their business. As
>>>>they are
>>>>walking home the first one says, "You know, I think my girl was
>>>>dead!".....
>>>>
>>>>"Dead?" says his friend, "why would you think that?
>>>>
>>>>"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving
>>>>her.."
>>>>
>>>>His friend says, "! I think mine was a witch." A WITCH!!!
>>>>
>>>>Why the hell would you say that? "
>>>>
>>>>"Well, I was making love to her, kissing on her neck and I gave
>>>>it little
>>>>bite, then she farted and
>>>>flew out the window...
 
That reminds me....

That jokes reminds me when I was in my 20's I used go out with a blow-up doll. In the end she left me because "I was allways letting her down." heheheh....:)
 
Good One!

:laughing3 hahahahahaha....Love it...hahahahahaha:laughing3
 
yeah, that's what I reckon too... here's up to ya kid... lol
 

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okay baby.... your on!!! LOL
 

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ROFL!!!! SERENA, YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!!!! I just Loooooove your humour, I always look forward to ur cheeky, honest & sometimes brash posts!!! ENCORE ENCORE!!!!

xoxoxox
Latina
:)
 
why thankyou ma'am. It's all about making your day a little lighter with humour when your working. At home I am even worst... and when my sister-in-law says something to me.... I usually answer..
well whoopdeee bloody dooooooo and silly sayings like that so she is always cracking up on me..
 
Some more!!

Here's a few more for you all!!!
Be frightening if ones's kid turned out like any of this...haha
 

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Accountants joke

Three accountants go to the men's room to relieve themselves.

The first one finishes and walks over to the basin to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry them carefully, using paper towel after paper towel until every spot of water is gone. He turns to the other two accountants and says, "CPAs are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second one goes over to the basin, washes his hands and then dries them with one paper towel, using every corner of it until every spot of water is gone. He says, "Chartered Accountants are trained to be extremely thorough but also extremely efficient."

The third accountant walks straight to the door. "Management Accountants learn never to piss on themselves."
 
And some more!!!

Couldn't fit them all on one post...
 

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Clap your hands

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping......
 
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