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Just laying back letting the world go by, the wind blowing the birds chirping just relaxing on a blanket
 
THE IRISH BROTHEL
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are!"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now that's sad," says the third Irishman.
"One of the girls must have died."
 
Paddy went to the brothel and while he was in the waiting room he saw a sign over the Bar saying BYO.
So he went home and got his wife.
 
The difference between Guts and Balls

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

:occasion14
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

That is so funny ...do you ever think some poor idiot ever tried muttering those lines just to get the response and then....... just went into ....no no its just a joke I read it some where....please dont hit me!!!

I love it ...have you got any more great one liners?

Cheers TB
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

Yep that's balls alright. Very funny, thanks for the laugh.
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

Very good pause78
I know I have come home How should we say ? Happy?
And have days of the silent treatment Makes me wonder If I said something
that stupid
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

You know a punter could do a version of 'YOUR NEXT CHUBBY " down at Langtrees .Wonder if someone dumb enough ?
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

Farm Boy said:
You know a punter could do a version of 'YOUR NEXT CHUBBY " down at Langtrees .Wonder if someone dumb enough ?
Click to expand...

There is a line between balls and absolute stupidity FB And you would
be foolhardy to cross it
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

I am quite safe as no longer interested in tackling WLs consecutively.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

Awesome joke... thanks for the laugh.
 
Two drunk Irish guys walk into a brothel and ask for two doublrs, the girl behind the counter say that will be 500 each, they look at each other and say come on mate let's go back to the other pub. The drinks are to expensive here
 
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug.
 
T.J. McDon said:
THE IRISH BROTHEL
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel over the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are!"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now that's sad," says the third Irishman.
"One of the girls must have died."
Click to expand...

LOL love it hahahahahah:laughing4
 
Re: The difference between Guts and Balls

Oh my lol Love it grrrrrrrr happy days, I guess he won't be asking what is for dinner then,
 
Three international oilfield workers are sitting on a rig talking about the good times back home. The Englishman said, "There's a pub on the Thames, they do lovely food and if the barman likes you every third drink is free". The American said, "Actually, the best pub in the world is in New York. I never pay for my meals and very second drink is free". The Irishman said, "No the best pub in the world is my local in Dublin, all drinks and food are free and later on there is free sex upstairs".
"Come on, did that actually happen to you?"
"No, but my sister did."
 
every Canuck has an Irish grandmother somewhere in the family, those girls got around
 
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