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Ahoy;-
THE OLDER WOMAN

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61 year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever Had a Sportsman's Double.
'What's that?' I asked.. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
I said, 'No,' - excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?'
 
Ahoy;- "Life at 80"

Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock -- no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00".
 
happy2 said:
:arghh::oops::( Wheres my bottle of Plonk!!
Click to expand...
When I was posting this I was thinking of that airborne tractor you have as an avatar,
Anyway doesn't it equate to if youve got a tractor, you're the one with the drinks, it shows nothing about people arriving with drinks........just to point out!..:-)
 
1Chat said:
When I was posting this I was thinking of that airborne tractor you have as an avatar,
Anyway doesn't it equate to if youve got a tractor, you're the one with the drinks, it shows nothing about people arriving with drinks........just to point out!..:)
Click to expand...
I assumed Everyone else has a girl bar the bloke with the tractor so we have to hit the bottle instead:oops:
 
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