Hey Ace! I know I’m tuning into this combo a couple years late, but hopefully you’re still checking in! I’ve not experienced ME/CFMS but I have quite a few friends who do. This is something that they’ve also reflected on! We think it has something to do with how powerful arousal is on the body at kind of overriding a lot of other core emotions. For example, disgust is a core emotion, deeply ingrained in human experience that evolved to keep us safe from things that could hurt us (like spoilt food; vomit etc). But arousal diminishes this emotion, which is why you don’t really notice your partners morning breath when you have some wake up sex, and why some folks really get into piss play or scat. Super fascinating. And then you add in all the feel good hormones rushing through your body during and after sex - they all combine in an exhilarating cocktail to temporarily override the debilitating exhaustion. My chronically ill besties absolutely find sex less draining than doing a food shop or even checking the mail. But that being said- no marathon sessions please, quickies only! And then some nice long snooze cuddles after
Yes, its strange to be able to explain to people that im “housebound” and cant walk far. But can handle sex (limitations involved)
1. The Gravity Tax- People with ME/CFS frequently suffer from
Orthostatic Intolerance (OI). This means that when the body is upright (sitting or standing), the autonomic nervous system fails to pump blood properly to the brain and heart.
2.The Horizontal Advantage-
The Concept: Being flat or supported reduces cardiovascular strain dramatically. Adaptations outlined by organisations like the
Bateman Horne Center and the
ME Association show that modified, low-exertion positions allow for physical connection without the catastrophic energy drain of standing.
3. Pacing vs. Uncontrollable Exertion
The Concept: Walking outside presents uncontrollable variables (pavement shifts, weather, a fixed distance to get back home). Intimacy at home can be paused, modified, or stopped the exact second your body hits its limit.
Either way, sex is indeed an exercise and even if the feel good factor outways the risk. The risk of getting PEM and worsening exists with each intimate moment sadly
Attached- evidence in the bodies of MECFS patients having abnormalities in MNRA markers after exertion. So even if it feels good, and adrenaline helps. Whats happening underneath cant be avoided and the risk of getting worse is a sad and real one after an enjoyable moment. Its hard if not impossible, to have sex and Pace correctly. Because whatever the MECFS patients baseine is, sex will likely push a patient over it, as its only natural to not stop until its too late - when its to late- the markers in the attached will already be doing/showing the damage happening inside.
