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Prostate cancer and sex life

Englishbreakfast1970 said:
Hi, I'm in the early stage of prostate cancer. I would love to hear from guys who are in the same situation and how it has impacted their sex life. Input from working ladies is also welcome.
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Hi @Englishbreakfast1970. Thank you for being brave in sharing your diagnosis here. I have recently had a client share that he is also going through the same process. I don’t have any advice or information to offer here, but would like to say stay strong, thank you for sharing, and I hope to follow this thread so that I may also learn from the feedback from other gents and SW’s in this thread. Big hugs and healing light to you ❤️
 
It's important to connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges. Many men in your situation share that they face a mix of emotions regarding their sexual health. Treatments can impact libido and function, but many find ways to adapt and maintain intimacy, whether through communication with partners or exploring different forms of intimacy.

If you're comfortable, sharing more about your experiences or specific concerns can help in getting more tailored advice. Also, support groups—both online and in-person—can be a great resource for connecting with others who understand what you're going through.
 
Rachel7788 said:
It's important to connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges. Many men in your situation share that they face a mix of emotions regarding their sexual health. Treatments can impact libido and function, but many find ways to adapt and maintain intimacy, whether through communication with partners or exploring different forms of intimacy.

If you're comfortable, sharing more about your experiences or specific concerns can help in getting more tailored advice. Also, support groups—both online and in-person—can be a great resource for connecting with others who understand what you're going through.
Click to expand...
I’m three months into my treatment and the last thing I’m thinking about is sex.
Hard to believe but so is the whole experience.
Something to ponder for the future.
 
Chief said:
I’m three months into my treatment and the last thing I’m thinking about is sex.
Hard to believe but so is the whole experience.
Something to ponder for the future.
Click to expand...
Good luck with it Chief.

I had a relative go through the treatment and said there is a group called Prost who helped him a lot.

Don't know if you already know about them but their link is below

This link is broken so it has been taken down
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Chief said:
I’m three months into my treatment and the last thing I’m thinking about is sex.
Hard to believe but so is the whole experience.
Something to ponder for the future.
Click to expand...
I hope it all goes well Chief and I'm sorry it's a challenge you have to best!
 
Chief said:
I’m three months into my treatment and the last thing I’m thinking about is sex.
Hard to believe but so is the whole experience.
Something to ponder for the future.
Click to expand...
Seems like every second day we run into or hear about people we know who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer or BPH. Hope all goes well for your treatment and we see you back on the punting merry go round as soon as possible.
 
Englishbreakfast1970 said:
Hi Chief, are you getting radiations or surgery?
Click to expand...
Hi,
No at this point I am on a series of tablets about 15every day.
Amazing developments over the past ten years.a box of a particular tablet costs over $1000 but is only $7.70 on the government scheme. My special monthly injection is around $15000 but it’s also subsidised to around #25. This treatment has reduced my psa from 2000 to .9!Surgery and chemo are the last resort apparently. Thank god!As recently as last week there has been further evidence that surgery,psa tests etc may be irrelevant or immaterial in some cases. One needs to be cautious. I’m also taking 8 tablets a day for the heart attack. Caused by the cancer.
 
I see, looks like tablets lower testosterone, which explains low libido. Have you thought of trying caverjet, penile injections, not very practical but they are powerful.
 
Englishbreakfast1970 said:
I see, looks like tablets lower testosterone, which explains low libido. Have you thought of trying caverjet, penile injections, not very practical but they are powerful.
Click to expand...
Englishbreakfast1970 said:
I see, looks like tablets lower testosterone, which explains low libido. Have you thought of trying caverjet, penile injections, not very practical but they are powerful.
Click to expand...
Thankyou for your reply. I am just too sick to care. 😢🤒⚰️
 
Chief said:
Hi,
No at this point I am on a series of tablets about 15every day.
Amazing developments over the past ten years.a box of a particular tablet costs over $1000 but is only $7.70 on the government scheme. My special monthly injection is around $15000 but it’s also subsidised to around #25. This treatment has reduced my psa from 2000 to .9!Surgery and chemo are the last resort apparently. Thank god!As recently as last week there has been further evidence that surgery,psa tests etc may be irrelevant or immaterial in some cases. One needs to be cautious. I’m also taking 8 tablets a day for the heart attack. Caused by the cancer.
Click to expand...
Jesus you are having a hard time Chief. I'm sorry life is throwing you lemons ATM. I'm happy to hear you are responding well to the treatment though. I hope you continue to improve at an accelerating rate!
 
I got prostate cancer at 56. There were no symptoms, just a rapidly increasing psa level. It was a particularly aggressive cancer (Gleason score of 9) and I ended up with surgery, all within 2 months of initial diagnoses. Even then it was too late to be contained and I ended up with a further 2 courses of radiation over the next 2 1/2 years. All this and it was caught early! Docs afterwards told me I would be dead by 58 if I hadn't been as quick off the mark.
How it affects your sex life varies with whatever treatment you end up having. Apparently there are 4 main nerves that go to your penis over the outside of the prostate. During surgery they try and preserve these, if they can. I lost 2 and have difficulty maintaining an erection. Viagra helps a little, but getting hard is hard and the sex drive I had previously is not there anymore. Next step for me is hormones, which will lower my interest even further.
Best advice I can give is GO AND HAVE REGULAR CHECKS. Not all prostate cancers are slow moving and only for the elderly. You are never too young and don't be put off by the macho bullshit of having a finger up your butt.

I hope all goes well for you, and any other members in the same boat.
 
sumwun said:
I got prostate cancer at 56. There were no symptoms, just a rapidly increasing psa level. It was a particularly aggressive cancer (Gleason score of 9) and I ended up with surgery, all within 2 months of initial diagnoses. Even then it was too late to be contained and I ended up with a further 2 courses of radiation over the next 2 1/2 years. All this and it was caught early! Docs afterwards told me I would be dead by 58 if I hadn't been as quick off the mark.
How it affects your sex life varies with whatever treatment you end up having. Apparently there are 4 main nerves that go to your penis over the outside of the prostate. During surgery they try and preserve these, if they can. I lost 2 and have difficulty maintaining an erection. Viagra helps a little, but getting hard is hard and the sex drive I had previously is not there anymore. Next step for me is hormones, which will lower my interest even further.
Best advice I can give is GO AND HAVE REGULAR CHECKS. Not all prostate cancers are slow moving and only for the elderly. You are never too young and don't be put off by the macho bullshit of having a finger up your butt.

I hope all goes well for you, and any other members in the same boat.
Click to expand...
Thankyou for sound advice. I asked my GP and oncologist about the finger. They don’t do it anymore. The blood tests are the key. I am nearly 80 and never had a test. Please get them regularly.
 
Chief said:
Thankyou for sound advice. I asked my GP and oncologist about the finger. They don’t do it anymore. The blood tests are the key. I am nearly 80 and never had a test. Please get them regularly.
Click to expand...
I suspect the use of the finger varies between urologists. I have had an enlarged prostate for a couple of years and been on duodart (unfortunately). I recently had an annual check up on my prostate, the PSA was within normal range and the results of an ultrasound indicated the size of the gland had reduced. The urologist however said neither of these provide an absolute marker as to whether cancer may be present or not (as most would know). She suggested doing the finger as from that she could gauge from the smoothness and the size of the gland if it was compromised in anyway (fortunately it wasn’t). Guess it’s horses for courses as far as the prostate is concerned.

And Chief, best wishes and I know you will come through this with a positive outcome!
 
DHFH said:
I suspect the use of the finger varies between urologists. I have had an enlarged prostate for a couple of years and been on duodart (unfortunately). I recently had an annual check up on my prostate, the PSA was within normal range and the results of an ultrasound indicated the size of the gland had reduced. The urologist however said neither of these provide an absolute marker as to whether cancer may be present or not (as most would know). She suggested doing the finger as from that she could gauge from the smoothness and the size of the gland if it was compromised in anyway (fortunately it wasn’t). Guess it’s horses for courses as far as the prostate is concerned.

And Chief, best wishes and I know you will come through this with a positive outcome!
Click to expand...
Thankyou. Very much appreciated.
 
My husband refused to go to a doctor for years even though I could hear him having trouble urinating. When he eventually went he was to the point that he was coping with an almost full bladder all the time due to the extent of the prostate enlargement. The first step of trying medication to reduce its size didnt work so he had to have it bored out to relieve the pressure on his urethra. He was told that he should still be able to get an erection and that viagra would be beneficial but he would never be able to ejaculate again. Im sure his state of mind contributed to viagra not being of any benefit and now he is literally to the point of not being able to get any sort of erection.

My biggest issue with all this is that not only has he lost his desire to even try anything sexual but it's like he has lost his loving heart as well because I havent been able to get a cuddle, a loving touch or hand hold for years. He no doubt feels inadequate but refuses to discuss it and therefore wont seek medical advice either. It is a tough existence for us partners as well guys. Make sure you are well versed with all the symptoms and dont put off seeing a doctor.
 
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Elle said:
My husband refused to go to a doctor for years even though I could hear him having trouble urinating. When he eventually went he was to the point that he was coping with an almost full bladder all the time due to the extent of the prostate enlargement. The first step of trying medication to reduce its size didnt work so he had to have it bored out to relieve the pressure on his urethra. He was told that he should still be able to get an erection and that viagra would be beneficial but he would never be able to ejaculate again. Im sure his state of mind contributed to viagra not being of any benefit and now he is literally to the point of not being able to get any sort of erection.

My biggest issue with all this is that not only has he lost his desire to even try anything sexual but it's like he has lost his loving heart as well because I havent been able to get a cuddle, a loving touch or hand hold for years. He refuses to discuss it and therefore wont seek medical advice either. It is a tough existence for us partners as well guys. Make sure you are well versed with all the symptoms and dont put off seeing a doctor.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing Elle. I'm sorry what was once great is now just a distant memory for you both. It's a good reminder that men are not good at seeking help. We tend to procrastinate in the hope that whatever the issue is will just go away. Sometimes it works but when it comes to health issues we need to be more proactive. It's not a weekness to sit down with a Dr and explain our concerns/symptoms. Caught early many common male health issues can be managed and improved. Everyone needs intimacy in a long term relationship, a cuddle, a touch, a caress are food for the soul and heart and I'm sorry you are denied them. I hope things get better for you both!
 
Elle said:
My husband refused to go to a doctor for years even though I could hear him having trouble urinating. When he eventually went he was to the point that he was coping with an almost full bladder all the time due to the extent of the prostate enlargement. The first step of trying medication to reduce its size didnt work so he had to have it bored out to relieve the pressure on his urethra. He was told that he should still be able to get an erection and that viagra would be beneficial but he would never be able to ejaculate again. Im sure his state of mind contributed to viagra not being of any benefit and now he is literally to the point of not being able to get any sort of erection.

My biggest issue with all this is that not only has he lost his desire to even try anything sexual but it's like he has lost his loving heart as well because I havent been able to get a cuddle, a loving touch or hand hold for years. He no doubt feels inadequate but refuses to discuss it and therefore wont seek medical advice either. It is a tough existence for us partners as well guys. Make sure you are well versed with all the symptoms and dont put off seeing a doctor.
Click to expand...

Hi Elle, I have had enlarged prostate symptoms for around 8 years. I managed my enlarged prostate over the years.

My experience with the prostate operation and sex was different to your husbands.

In the early years I had a procedure at hospital to check my bladder and prostate. They inserted a tiny video camera into the penis through to the bladder. There was a tv monitor in the hospital room where we could view the inside of my bladder and prostate. It was not an nice experience. Two weeks later while I was working at Langtrees, I went to the toilet and urinated allot of blood.

I am not one that always goes to a doctor or seeks medical attention. I was told to go to emergency. When I did go to emergency they told me when I had the procedure at the hospital. I was infected and had internal bleeding. I was given antibiotics and it cleared up.

6 months ago I had developed a hernia at work. I do physically heavy commercial construction work. I visited my employers GP and has he was pressing against my stomach. He noticed something wrong around my bladder area. He referred me to emergency at RPH.

After several tests in hospital, they found I had a acute renal failure. A blockage in the bladder. It was my prostate enlargement. I was told I needed to have a TURP operation on my prostate. This procedure is when they bore out the prostate. I had to wear a Catheter for 6 weeks until I could have my operation. The nurse inserted a large hose into my penis through to my bladder. The other end of the hose goes into a bag strapped to my thigh and fills up with urine. When its full you would go to the toilet and open a tap on the bag to empty the full bag of urine. It was a uncomfortable experience.

I was never told by the surgeon that I would not be able to ejaculate or have problems getting a erection.

While waiting for my prostate operation I had a appointment with the surgeon who was to operate on my hernia. He told me I need to have my prostate operation before he could operate on my hernia. As we were chatting he told me he has had a enlarged prostate operation. I asked him if it caused problems with getting a erection? He raised his arm up, fist clenched and said, I get big boner!! lol.. He had no problem with his sex life. This put my mind at ease.

I had my TURP operation and it was a success. Before I could get discharged from the hospital I had to pass a test where I needed to fully empty my bladder. I was told to double void. Meaning I would go to the toilet to urinate and wait 5 minutes and go again to make sure my bladder was empty.

Just before being discharged, the nurse removed the Catheter. That was not a enjoyable experience. I felt like my penis was stretched 12 inches and the hose was like a lacky band as the nurse pulled it out of my penis.

During the 6 weeks of recovery. It was a big relief not having the urgency to run to the toilet. And when I did urinate, I was like a fire hydrant. I did have blood and blood clots in my urine as it was part of the healing process.

I had a follow up appointment with the surgeon. And he told me he had scraped a sample my prostate to test for cancer. Luckily there was no cancer.

Regarding sex and erections after my prostate operation. I have always had a super high sex drive and have always been a very affectionate person. Love to touch and love hugs. I have never needed to take Viagra. When I left the hospital I had a strong hard erections and I have sometimes morning erections. I think about having sex most of the time. I can orgasm and maintain an erection. I can pleasure a lady.

However, you do ejaculate but semen does not come out of the penis. It goes into the bladder. Its called Retrograde Ejaculation. The reason why this happens is when the surgeon bores out the prostate. A muscle at the opening of the bladder is removed. This muscle closes while you orgasm so the semen comes out through the penis and does not go back into the bladder.

Its only a problem if your a young male and want to have kids. I am now 62 so I do not want kids at my age. I still love sex, affection and cuddles.

I think your husband is a very lucky man to have a partner like you Elle. You seem to be very supportive, loving and caring. I hope he will change and seek help because you really do deserve it!

You can still have a great relationship and sex life after enlarged prostate operation.
 
Ian IT said:
Hi Elle, I have had enlarged prostate symptoms for around 8 years. I managed my enlarged prostate over the years.

My experience with the prostate operation and sex was different to your husbands.

In the early years I had a procedure at hospital to check my bladder and prostate. They inserted a tiny video camera into the penis through to the bladder. There was a tv monitor in the hospital room where we could view the inside of my bladder and prostate. It was not an nice experience. Two weeks later while I was working at Langtrees, I went to the toilet and urinated allot of blood.

I am not one that always goes to a doctor or seeks medical attention. I was told to go to emergency. When I did go to emergency they told me when I had the procedure at the hospital. I was infected and had internal bleeding. I was given antibiotics and it cleared up.

6 months ago I had developed a hernia at work. I do physically heavy commercial construction work. I visited my employers GP and has he was pressing against my stomach. He noticed something wrong around my bladder area. He referred me to emergency at RPH.

After several tests in hospital, they found I had a acute renal failure. A blockage in the bladder. It was my prostate enlargement. I was told I needed to have a TURP operation on my prostate. This procedure is when they bore out the prostate. I had to wear a Catheter for 6 weeks until I could have my operation. The nurse inserted a large hose into my penis through to my bladder. The other end of the hose goes into a bag strapped to my thigh and fills up with urine. When its full you would go to the toilet and open a tap on the bag to empty the full bag of urine. It was a uncomfortable experience.

I was never told by the surgeon that I would not be able to ejaculate or have problems getting a erection.

While waiting for my prostate operation I had a appointment with the surgeon who was to operate on my hernia. He told me I need to have my prostate operation before he could operate on my hernia. As we were chatting he told me he has had a enlarged prostate operation. I asked him if it caused problems with getting a erection? He raised his arm up, fist clenched and said, I get big boner!! lol.. He had no problem with his sex life. This put my mind at ease.

I had my TURP operation and it was a success. Before I could get discharged from the hospital I had to pass a test where I needed to fully empty my bladder. I was told to double void. Meaning I would go to the toilet to urinate and wait 5 minutes and go again to make sure my bladder was empty.

Just before being discharged, the nurse removed the Catheter. That was not a enjoyable experience. I felt like my penis was stretched 12 inches and the hose was like a lacky band as the nurse pulled it out of my penis.

During the 6 weeks of recovery. It was a big relief not having the urgency to run to the toilet. And when I did urinate, I was like a fire hydrant. I did have blood and blood clots in my urine as it was part of the healing process.

I had a follow up appointment with the surgeon. And he told me he had scraped a sample my prostate to test for cancer. Luckily there was no cancer.

Regarding sex and erections after my prostate operation. I have always had a super high sex drive and have always been a very affectionate person. Love to touch and love hugs. I have never needed to take Viagra. When I left the hospital I had a strong hard erections and I have sometimes morning erections. I think about having sex most of the time. I can orgasm and maintain an erection. I can pleasure a lady.

However, you do ejaculate but semen does not come out of the penis. It goes into the bladder. Its called Retrograde Ejaculation. The reason why this happens is when the surgeon bores out the prostate. A muscle at the opening of the bladder is removed. This muscle closes while you orgasm so the semen comes out through the penis and does not go back into the bladder.

Its only a problem if your a young male and want to have kids. I am now 62 so I do not want kids at my age. I still love sex, affection and cuddles.

I think your husband is a very lucky man to have a partner like you Elle. You seem to be very supportive, loving and caring. I hope he will change and seek help because you really do deserve it!

You can still have a great relationship and sex life after enlarged prostate operation.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing your story.

Ian IT said:
Just before being discharged, the nurse removed the Catheter. That was not a enjoyable experience. I felt like my penis was stretched 12 inches and the hose was like a lacky band as the nurse pulled it out of my penis.
Click to expand...
Ian IT said:
The nurse inserted a large hose into my penis through to my bladder.
Click to expand...
I don't think many female nurses can relate to how unpleasant and daunting the experience is.

Ian IT said:
However, you do ejaculate but semen does not come out of the penis. It goes into the bladder. Its called Retrograde Ejaculation. The reason why this happens is when the surgeon bores out the prostate. A muscle at the opening of the bladder is removed. This muscle closes while you orgasm so the semen comes out through the penis and does not go back into the bladder.
Click to expand...
This can also be caused by certain medications that relaxes the urethra etc.
 
Elle said:
My biggest issue with all this is that not only has he lost his desire to even try anything sexual but it's like he has lost his loving heart as well because I havent been able to get a cuddle, a loving touch or hand hold for years. He no doubt feels inadequate but refuses to discuss it and therefore wont seek medical advice either. It is a tough existence for us partners as well guys.
Click to expand...
It is indeed likely he may feel inadequate and shame. You haven't said what you have tried. Have you tried to be the one to initiate subtly e.g. giving him a shoulder or back massage without it feeling like it is going to lead to intimacy? Or putting your arm around his waist? Or being playful with him? Doing this subtle things may bring him out of the shell of inadequacy and shame if he doesn't think it will lead to intimacy. Eventually, it may lead to that once he has gotten over that hurdle.
 
Ian IT said:
Hi Elle, I have had enlarged prostate symptoms for around 8 years. I managed my enlarged prostate over the years.

My experience with the prostate operation and sex was different to your husbands.

In the early years I had a procedure at hospital to check my bladder and prostate. They inserted a tiny video camera into the penis through to the bladder. There was a tv monitor in the hospital room where we could view the inside of my bladder and prostate. It was not an nice experience. Two weeks later while I was working at Langtrees, I went to the toilet and urinated allot of blood.

I am not one that always goes to a doctor or seeks medical attention. I was told to go to emergency. When I did go to emergency they told me when I had the procedure at the hospital. I was infected and had internal bleeding. I was given antibiotics and it cleared up.

6 months ago I had developed a hernia at work. I do physically heavy commercial construction work. I visited my employers GP and has he was pressing against my stomach. He noticed something wrong around my bladder area. He referred me to emergency at RPH.

After several tests in hospital, they found I had a acute renal failure. A blockage in the bladder. It was my prostate enlargement. I was told I needed to have a TURP operation on my prostate. This procedure is when they bore out the prostate. I had to wear a Catheter for 6 weeks until I could have my operation. The nurse inserted a large hose into my penis through to my bladder. The other end of the hose goes into a bag strapped to my thigh and fills up with urine. When its full you would go to the toilet and open a tap on the bag to empty the full bag of urine. It was a uncomfortable experience.

I was never told by the surgeon that I would not be able to ejaculate or have problems getting a erection.

While waiting for my prostate operation I had a appointment with the surgeon who was to operate on my hernia. He told me I need to have my prostate operation before he could operate on my hernia. As we were chatting he told me he has had a enlarged prostate operation. I asked him if it caused problems with getting a erection? He raised his arm up, fist clenched and said, I get big boner!! lol.. He had no problem with his sex life. This put my mind at ease.

I had my TURP operation and it was a success. Before I could get discharged from the hospital I had to pass a test where I needed to fully empty my bladder. I was told to double void. Meaning I would go to the toilet to urinate and wait 5 minutes and go again to make sure my bladder was empty.

Just before being discharged, the nurse removed the Catheter. That was not a enjoyable experience. I felt like my penis was stretched 12 inches and the hose was like a lacky band as the nurse pulled it out of my penis.

During the 6 weeks of recovery. It was a big relief not having the urgency to run to the toilet. And when I did urinate, I was like a fire hydrant. I did have blood and blood clots in my urine as it was part of the healing process.

I had a follow up appointment with the surgeon. And he told me he had scraped a sample my prostate to test for cancer. Luckily there was no cancer.

Regarding sex and erections after my prostate operation. I have always had a super high sex drive and have always been a very affectionate person. Love to touch and love hugs. I have never needed to take Viagra. When I left the hospital I had a strong hard erections and I have sometimes morning erections. I think about having sex most of the time. I can orgasm and maintain an erection. I can pleasure a lady.

However, you do ejaculate but semen does not come out of the penis. It goes into the bladder. Its called Retrograde Ejaculation. The reason why this happens is when the surgeon bores out the prostate. A muscle at the opening of the bladder is removed. This muscle closes while you orgasm so the semen comes out through the penis and does not go back into the bladder.

Its only a problem if your a young male and want to have kids. I am now 62 so I do not want kids at my age. I still love sex, affection and cuddles.

I think your husband is a very lucky man to have a partner like you Elle. You seem to be very supportive, loving and caring. I hope he will change and seek help because you really do deserve it!

You can still have a great relationship and sex life after enlarged prostate operation.
Click to expand...
Thankyou for such a frank,compelling story. My current prostate cancer experience and treatment are insignificant by comparison. You have given me hope and confidence. Regards.
 
Ian IT said:
Hi Elle, I have had enlarged prostate symptoms for around 8 years. I managed my enlarged prostate over the years.

My experience with the prostate operation and sex was different to your husbands.

In the early years I had a procedure at hospital to check my bladder and prostate. They inserted a tiny video camera into the penis through to the bladder. There was a tv monitor in the hospital room where we could view the inside of my bladder and prostate. It was not an nice experience. Two weeks later while I was working at Langtrees, I went to the toilet and urinated allot of blood.

I am not one that always goes to a doctor or seeks medical attention. I was told to go to emergency. When I did go to emergency they told me when I had the procedure at the hospital. I was infected and had internal bleeding. I was given antibiotics and it cleared up.

6 months ago I had developed a hernia at work. I do physically heavy commercial construction work. I visited my employers GP and has he was pressing against my stomach. He noticed something wrong around my bladder area. He referred me to emergency at RPH.

After several tests in hospital, they found I had a acute renal failure. A blockage in the bladder. It was my prostate enlargement. I was told I needed to have a TURP operation on my prostate. This procedure is when they bore out the prostate. I had to wear a Catheter for 6 weeks until I could have my operation. The nurse inserted a large hose into my penis through to my bladder. The other end of the hose goes into a bag strapped to my thigh and fills up with urine. When its full you would go to the toilet and open a tap on the bag to empty the full bag of urine. It was a uncomfortable experience.

I was never told by the surgeon that I would not be able to ejaculate or have problems getting a erection.

While waiting for my prostate operation I had a appointment with the surgeon who was to operate on my hernia. He told me I need to have my prostate operation before he could operate on my hernia. As we were chatting he told me he has had a enlarged prostate operation. I asked him if it caused problems with getting a erection? He raised his arm up, fist clenched and said, I get big boner!! lol.. He had no problem with his sex life. This put my mind at ease.

I had my TURP operation and it was a success. Before I could get discharged from the hospital I had to pass a test where I needed to fully empty my bladder. I was told to double void. Meaning I would go to the toilet to urinate and wait 5 minutes and go again to make sure my bladder was empty.

Just before being discharged, the nurse removed the Catheter. That was not a enjoyable experience. I felt like my penis was stretched 12 inches and the hose was like a lacky band as the nurse pulled it out of my penis.

During the 6 weeks of recovery. It was a big relief not having the urgency to run to the toilet. And when I did urinate, I was like a fire hydrant. I did have blood and blood clots in my urine as it was part of the healing process.

I had a follow up appointment with the surgeon. And he told me he had scraped a sample my prostate to test for cancer. Luckily there was no cancer.

Regarding sex and erections after my prostate operation. I have always had a super high sex drive and have always been a very affectionate person. Love to touch and love hugs. I have never needed to take Viagra. When I left the hospital I had a strong hard erections and I have sometimes morning erections. I think about having sex most of the time. I can orgasm and maintain an erection. I can pleasure a lady.

However, you do ejaculate but semen does not come out of the penis. It goes into the bladder. Its called Retrograde Ejaculation. The reason why this happens is when the surgeon bores out the prostate. A muscle at the opening of the bladder is removed. This muscle closes while you orgasm so the semen comes out through the penis and does not go back into the bladder.

Its only a problem if your a young male and want to have kids. I am now 62 so I do not want kids at my age. I still love sex, affection and cuddles.

I think your husband is a very lucky man to have a partner like you Elle. You seem to be very supportive, loving and caring. I hope he will change and seek help because you really do deserve it!

You can still have a great relationship and sex life after enlarged prostate operation.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing part of your story Ian. Your positive attitude and outlook is fantastic!
 
johnmatilda said:
It is indeed likely he may feel inadequate and shame. You haven't said what you have tried. Have you tried to be the one to initiate subtly e.g. giving him a shoulder or back massage without it feeling like it is going to lead to intimacy? Or putting your arm around his waist? Or being playful with him? Doing this subtle things may bring him out of the shell of inadequacy and shame if he doesn't think it will lead to intimacy. Eventually, it may lead to that once he has gotten over that hurdle.
Click to expand...
Yes...of course I have tried everything. Im a sensual person who is not only in a sexless marriage but one with no affection and he wont even let me touch him. It is difficult.
 
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