Polyamorous and swingers the same?

[Iges148]

I am curious to see if members know what polyamorous people and relationships are. Do you think it is the same as swingers, open relationships, an excuse ‘to get some’? I am polyamorous but find it hard to connect with similar people and wonder what the perception is out there.

 

[oz-surfer]

I don't beleive they are the same.

Generally speaking, my understanding is that:

• Polyamorous is when you have more than one relationship i.e. it's not just sex but a shared bond/meaningful relationship with more than one partner i.e. genuine feelings and fulfilment are involved.
• Swingers are typically couples that enjoy having sex with other couples or singles, but it's normally a shared activity. Friendships may develop, but they are not intended to be bonded relationships as such, more "friends with benefits".
• An open relationship is when both or one person in a couple is free to explore sex outside the relationship. Typically it's just sex, otherwise if a relationship and feelings start to develop with another partner, it moves into a polyamorous type scenario.

End of the day though, they're just all labels, and your life, relationships and sexlife are your own and don't have to be pigeon holed. I guess using labels is just a way to communicate what's going on and seek advice also.

I'm curious how you manage being polyamorous, it seems like it would present a lot of challenges. I can also imagine though that it's a situation capable of bring out the absolute best in someone and really make them feel complete. The challenge being able to manage the aspects of personalities that can cause lots of conflict, and you'd have to work so hard at communication and time management.

If you don't mind me asking are you in a polyamorous relationship now?
If so for how long, and what sort of challenges are you managing?
If I've overstepped the mark and you don't care to answer - all good. I'm just really curious about it, and thought I'd take the opportunity.

 

[Iges148]

I was in several polyamorous relationships, but in the end it has become a relationship with my first girl, who I have been married to for 30 years. There have been many challenges, spending time with different partners to avoid jealousy (that has always worked well), how is new relationship introduced to an existing relationship, how do you deal with breakups when there are multiple people involved and managing different opinions and values by all involved.
More recently I have stepped away from relationships with others, other than my partner. She is in a stage of her life where menopause is causing huge doubts and she is after stability. I love her and can understand what she must be feeling. However I cannot just switch off my polyamorous feelings. It part of my dna. That is a real challenge, but my love for her is stronger than the polyamorous feelings.