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My wife is A sexual (no interest in sex)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Skonsduiker
  • Start date Start date
bushseeker you should not believe everything you read. I have had first hand experience with men that suffer from that I can't be f....d attitude.
Maybe all these men that comment about their wive's lack of enthusiasm in bed is because their men are boring. Most men stick to the same routine in bed and are predictable.
I have been a W/L and would like to point out that 1/2 of men don't know where a clitoris is and then 90% of those that do don't know what to do with it.
 
Vivien@Langtrees said:
bushseeker you should not believe everything you read. I have had first hand experience with men that suffer from that I can't be f....d attitude.
Maybe all these men that comment about their wive's lack of enthusiasm in bed is because their men are boring. Most men stick to the same routine in bed and are predictable.
I have been a W/L and would like to point out that 1/2 of men don't know where a clitoris is and then 90% of those that do don't know what to do with it.
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Couldn't have said it any better than you did. On the mark!
 
Mate, buy yourself a motorbike and join a bike club! It won't help your sex life but you'll have a helluva good time with a heap of good blokes who all have similar problems to you (although they don't bother talking about it as they know it's a waste of time). So many western women hit the 40's and really don't care if they ever have sex again or not. This then makes you feel guilty when you choose to get a bit fruity and, as a result, the guilt makes you have trouble keeping it up.
Heads you lose and tails, you lose.
You only get one go at life. Don't get old and regret not doing what you really wanted to do. Do what your head tells you to do and DON'T ever contemplate any feelings of guilt. If she finds out then she only has herself to blame. It is HER problem not your problem.
 
Vivien@Langtrees said:
bushseeker you should not believe everything you read.
I have been a W/L and would like to point out that 1/2 of men don't know where a clitoris is and then 90% of those that do don't know what to do with it.
Click to expand...

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus.'
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace when it becomes troublesome.

If you want your guy to find your car you could always tell him where you left it...... that's if you can remember where you left it and it hasn't already gone rusty from lack of use.
 
rick181au said:
As for "We have been married for 14 years and you might ask did I not know about this before we got married. The answer is, yes, but I was willing to give it a go.

I find it hard to comprehend that!
I have found that most trouble in marriages are because most woman marry a guy hoping to change him, where as most men marry a woman hoping she never changes, "why if sex is so important to you did you marry a woman that was not into sex"?
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Because it was the best decision you can make at the time. Pro's out weighed the cons and making a decision through your heart is a lot different to a decision made with your cock.
 
maxman said:
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus.'
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace when it becomes troublesome.

If you want your guy to find your car you could always tell him where you left it...... that's if you can remember where you left it and it hasn't already gone rusty from lack of use.
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that's GOLD!
 
Skonsduiker said:
You see mate, this is just it......
The only thing that is a problem in our relationship is the bloody sex :( all the rest is spot on and we have no other issues. It is also not the amount of sex we have but more a question of when we do have sex I just need her to actually be there. According to her it is just another thing she must do, it is like going to work, she does not want to go but she has to..... In her opinion sex is the same, it is something she has to do and that attitude pisses me OFF in a BIG way.
I even told her once "ok, we don’t need to have sex any longer but you need to know I will then get it somewhere els" she was not happy with this......
I must be honest, I am back at that stage yet again but this time I will just go and do it. Discussing it does not seem to help.
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Skonsduiker
Skonsduiker said:
Ok,where do I start as this could take some time :)
I have diagnosed my dear wife as A sexual, meaning she is not intrested in sex at all!! It does not concern her and according to her she can do without it full stop.....
We have been married for 14 years and you might ask did I not know about this before we got married. The answer is, yes, but I was willing to give it a go. We have talked about this, she has tried her best to change but no luck she still see sex as something that must be done to satisfy me or make me happy. I have on numerous occasions mentioned to her that making love to her is like having sex with a sex doll. This might sound to you like I am a dick head but the fact remains she is very seldome "their" when we have sex......
She tells me that one we get to the act of having sex she likes it but her problem is getting there. We have tried everything in the book that I know of but she still struggles to get in the mood. Believe this or not but foreplay does not even do it for her and the best of all is I LOVE TO GIVE FOREPLAY I can spen hours on this :) I get bloody frustrated just thinking about this.

I help with everything around the house and I mean everything I plan sexual surprise nights but still I get a force f%#k

My question now is as follow, when and where do I draw the line? I feel that it is just a question of time before I make use of a W/L services or screw someone other then my wife.

What is a man to do??
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I really don't know what a man CAN do in this situation... I feel for you - it's a tough one... The fact that you've been married for 14 years already shows that there is no lack of commitment, on either side... Does your wife see her lack of sex drive as a problem within the relationship? Is she prepared to do anything about it, like seek advice? This is really something that needs work from the two of you together... While I can understand that libido can be a thing that ebbs and flows, the fact that she is not really "there" in the moment when you do have sex...Well, that would worry me. Especially seeing as, from what you are saying in your posts, it's not like the two of you are missing intimacy in other aspects of your relationship... I read somewhere a while ago that the person with the lowest sex drive controls the relationship... Are there other aspects of her life where she feels not in control? As Rochelle said, it could be a hormonal, or physical issue, or maybe an emotional one... I truly hope that the two of you can find some way to "meet in the middle". The very best of luck to you x x x
 
Vivien@Langtrees said:
bushseeker you should not believe everything you read. I have had first hand experience with men that suffer from that I can't be f....d attitude.
Maybe all these men that comment about their wive's lack of enthusiasm in bed is because their men are boring. Most men stick to the same routine in bed and are predictable.
I have been a W/L and would like to point out that 1/2 of men don't know where a clitoris is and then 90% of those that do don't know what to do with it.
Click to expand...


HEHEHEHE
 
There are many reasons for no sex drive and it pays to talk to your doctor. High blood pressure, menopause etc. A simply blood test could give you answers.
I have recently gone through early menopause and my sex drive dropped dramatically. But my god I have made in through and my sex drive has increased so much.
 
Hi

I am Loreal Hudson. A number of people ask me the sex skill, sexual healing, sex therapist, sexuality coaching, men's health, women's health etc.Yes i provide that services because it's my profession. If anyone interested visit our website
 
lorealhudson0 said:
Hi

I am Loreal Hudson. A number of people ask me the sex skill, sexual healing, sex therapist, sexuality coaching, men's health, women's health etc.Yes i provide that services because it's my profession. If anyone interested visit our website
Click to expand...

Please stop posting links to the site, I have been removing them. If you would like to become an advertiser on the Forum or perhaps have your own sub forum please contact Ms Sue :) No offense intended, we just try keep the forum fair for paid advertisers and to stop spam :)
 
Tania said:
Couldn't have said it any better than you did. On the mark!
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Ummm obviosly not true... if women were born with a sex drive prostitution wouldnt exist
Fact is its the worlds oldest profession which shows women havnt had a sex drive since the beginning
Pretty simple really
 
Have you ever heard of a forced orgasm? Perhaps she needs a little reminder on how great those things are. I had my first orgasm about two months ago. I had to be tied to a bed with a hitachi wand and given it. As i found i jumped when i was close. You never mentioned whether she ever came while having sex. Some of us ladies can't come very easily. So its worth a try. Tie her to the bed and just focus on her with the wand. No pressure for her to do anything with you. Just focus on her ;)
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ROTFLMAO! This is pretty much what I was going to say :)

I'd probably even just give her the wand and let her find the time to jump start her fire in her own time, when she has time that's convinient for her so she can relax in a no pressure kind of way. The more orgasms a woman has the more good happy chemicals get produced in the body and generally you gravitate towards making that a constant positive.

It's easy to not have sex and continue not having sex- when you're not having any.

Hitachi wands can be very convincing :)
 
Skonsduiker said:
Thanks Melodie,

It sure puts another spin on things :)

All of the best too you as well!!!

You see, what I just do not get is that if we get to the act of sex she claims she likes it but her problem is getting the brain turned on and strang enough porn also seems to do it for her.

O well I suppose we will in some way need to live with it and make the best of it but I know, the day is going to come and it is going to be the right place and the right time and I am going to f%#k someone els......
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Skonsduiker, I have met many people (men and women) with literally word for word what you're talking about.
I don't have an answer for you. I dont think it's about spoiling her or gifts or porn etc...I think it's a deeper situation that material incentives.
regarding your question: well, it seems like you already have a very open relationship communication wise. Vibrators and talking about it a lot may simply add to the problem...she might be well and truly over hearing about it and might be making it more of a problem.
Advice, talk to her about seeing a W/L together or solo. not a wham bam thank you ma'am W/L but a more sensual one. Have a few drinks and don't mention her lack of drive or your frustrations. Try and think of it as a experience that you are sharing together as a couple...just as going to a show together would be...but this is a more sensual, titilating show haha.
I don't really know....it's just my two cents...if any of that makes sense.
 
naughty thoughts said:
I love giving my wife massages. No matter how long or hard my day was, or how many idiots I had to deal with, being able to give and help her relax after her day makes me happy. Making her smile and relaxed is the greatest feeling.
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I love doing that too! for the same reasons!! Yet it's ironical that finding someone who actually enjoys having this done to them is a very difficult thing indeed. One almost needs to advertise! Hi free massages... no wait! I'll pay you!
 
longlasting said:
Just wondering, do you ever spoil her with flowers? Spontaneous gifts? I have heard of guys sending his wife flowers three times in a week. Althought you shouldn't expect immediate results, a little romance never hurt.
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3 times a week! WOWSERS the novelty would die quick
 
Skonsduiker said:
Ok,where do I start as this could take some time :)
I have diagnosed my dear wife as A sexual, meaning she is not intrested in sex at all!! It does not concern her and according to her she can do without it full stop.....
We have been married for 14 years and you might ask did I not know about this before we got married. The answer is, yes, but I was willing to give it a go. We have talked about this, she has tried her best to change but no luck she still see sex as something that must be done to satisfy me or make me happy. I have on numerous occasions mentioned to her that making love to her is like having sex with a sex doll. This might sound to you like I am a dick head but the fact remains she is very seldome "their" when we have sex......
She tells me that one we get to the act of having sex she likes it but her problem is getting there. We have tried everything in the book that I know of but she still struggles to get in the mood. Believe this or not but foreplay does not even do it for her and the best of all is I LOVE TO GIVE FOREPLAY I can spen hours on this :) I get bloody frustrated just thinking about this.

I help with everything around the house and I mean everything I plan sexual surprise nights but still I get a force f%#k

My question now is as follow, when and where do I draw the line? I feel that it is just a question of time before I make use of a W/L services or screw someone other then my wife.

What is a man to do??
Click to expand...


Have you heard of the multi vitamin called WYLD? They are safe to use and are wonderful at getting someone in the mood.
I've tried them twice now and each time I have been really really excitable. Like too excitable.

Perhaps suggest she try taking some of those ( buy them from Coles in the vitamin section, white box with blue writing I think?) even if just for a week. It may just bring her a little bit of a spark ;)
Completely safe to take with the only side effect being you are incredibly horny.

Just check and make sure she isn't on any medications that multi vitamins can cause to become ineffective.

Good luck! Xoxo
 
Hope springs eternal. But I'm pretty sure giving supplements would have the same result as giving supplements to a heterosexual man in the hopes that it is merely a nutrient deficiency that causes him not to want to have sex with men.

Best of luck. But I would tell the OP that there is nothing "wrong" with you, or with her. She just genuinely does NOT want sex.
 
Being asexual is not an illness to be 'diagnosed'. There is a huge difference between having a low sex drive and being sex-repulsed or asexual. If you entered into this relationship completely aware that your partner is not interested in sex then you need to decide to either be supportive and accept her wishes (she seems to be accepting yours and participating in sex even though she clearly isn't interested) or if getting off is that important to you then it may be time to move on.

(For the record I have had a relationship with a woman who identified as asexual, and it was never an issue for me because I actually respected my partner and what she was and wasn't comfortable with.)
 
Kitty said:
Being asexual is not an illness to be 'diagnosed'. There is a huge difference between having a low sex drive and being sex-repulsed or asexual. If you entered into this relationship completely aware that your partner is not interested in sex then you need to decide to either be supportive and accept her wishes (she seems to be accepting yours and participating in sex even though she clearly isn't interested) or if getting off is that important to you then it may be time to move on.

(For the record I have had a relationship with a woman who identified as asexual, and it was never an issue for me because I actually respected my partner and what she was and wasn't comfortable with.)
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IF I pretend to be asexual can you be in a relationship with me? ;)
 
I do feel for you but as W/L I meet so many wonderful men with the same problem. It must be very frustrating and no one can make a decision for you as to where you go with this issue. It seems that you have genuinely tried everything to no avail. Many married men I meet are not ready to leave their wives as they have an otherwise happy relationship and a lot invested like children, house, business etc. I believe there is nothing wrong with you seeing a working lady to experience great sex with as I believe it's a very important part of life, mine anyway and yours too obviously. I wouldn't necessarily threaten her with it as that won't make things better, but just do it and don't mention it, or leave if you've exhausted all other options. Sex is not high on everyone's list but it obviously is on yours and you either get it elsewhere or keep putting up with the situation. That's what W/L are for isn't it?? Many men see ladies to have their sexual needs met whether single or married, I don't see it as cheating but a necessity of life as a sexual being. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x
 
So much good advice.
But if the lady has a Harvey Norman Sex Drive (14 years with no interest), it's going to be tough
 
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