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My Life Sux

F

frendoto

Hello Bazz, it's sad to hear what you've been through and what you are going through now. I'm also at a low point in my life but the worst of it has passed.

One thing I can suggest to you is to find inspiration from meeting people who have serious problems with some of the day-to-day aspects of life of that we take for granted. For example, visiting a third-world country - Cambodia, Laos - and helping out for a short time can give you a life-long boost. The living conditions of some people are a disgrace to the human race, and yet some of them are happy, joyful, friendly, compassionate people. Your pain is internal; their problems are external. By helping out with their situation, you not only do something genuinely worthwhile but you will likely find yourself inspired and motivated again, and you may even recapture your joy for life. It will certainly help you to move forward with your life.

It is something a friend of mine did and it was something I considered until things started to turn around and I had no time for anything.
 
B

bazz68

A new start - after some time away on the farm to try and get some perpsective on life i have decided to seek some additional help. Just had a 2hour session with a consellor today. 9 months ago i walked away from my job in emergency services after witnessing a lot of things people shouldnt have to see, the clincher was removing a deceased infant(god bless her) from a motor vehicle accident, i could not go back on the job after that.

I have nightmares every night waking up to the images of vicitms surrounding me. Being a bloke i didnt talk about it and hit the bottle to try to take the edge off it which obvoiusly didnt work. i ended up with a guilt complex blaming myself for not being able to do more - this shouldnt have happend and without sounding like a hero why couldent i stop it or save people from being hurt or losing properties in fires.

Anyways the session today was pretty rough re-living it all again and ended in a lot of tears but i am told it is a stepping stone realizing that its not my fault and theres nothing more that i could have done to prevent it.

Also to remember the postives, one that comes to mind is the fire that i attended a couple of years back in the early hours of Xmas morning. The crew i was on saved an elderly ladies house, she was on her own. We stopped the flames at her back door. As we were packing up she brought us out a cuppa, gave me hug and a kiss on the cheeck with a tear in her eye. I went back that afternoon to check on her. All good, my point is try to focus on the goodtimes.

Stay tuned.
 
B

BAZZ68

The struggle continues,
Since my last post ive endured a fair bit of conselling. Even struck up the courage to visit my old crew at the station which brought back a few memories both good and bad.

It may sound strange but god i miss being part of the emergency services and helping folks in times of crisis.

On the relationship side been out with a few girls and the panic attacks kicked in along with the tremors and stutters(which i havent done in 20 years) Lets just say the date ended before it began. That sux big time!

Soldier on i suppose
 
K

koslick

I have been where you are. I used to lie awake in bed & think whats the point of getting out of bed.
I was recommended 2 books, Living With It, coping with panic attacks will take about an hour to read. Its a bit like a comic, has drawings in it. The other book Beating the Blues, for depression & will help with negative thoughts. Only read a chapter at a time & think about what you have read. I used to discuss this with a clinical psychologist. Forget counsellors, find a clinical psychologist who you are comfortable with. See a psychiatrist for medication. A good clinical psychologist would be able to refer you to one. Feel free to ask me for more info.
Remember what you have experienced most people over a period of time would have the similiar reactions to you & more. Take one day at a time plan short term & long term goals & reward yourself when you have achieved your goals.

For example make a goal of in the morning going for a walk for 20 minutes each day. Ingar yoga & meditation helped me. You have helped a lot of people while on this planet. It is now time to help yourself.

I leave it at that. Once again feel free to ask me what you like.
 
jlmiller

jlmiller

Gold Member
Points
0
Bazz I can relate where you are coming from as I've been in a similar place. I was fortunate enough to have some good male friends and a great sister who basically knew what was happening and why and her advice was quite simple. Reach down in a time where you were the most happiest and then if possible relive that. For me it was photography but from an art perspective and although it cost me heaps I've never felt better. I walk around town with and without my camera and I start looking at things. The way the light shines or shadow plays with the object. I started looking at people ad really looking at them not just gazing by them. I smile a lot more and laugh a lot more (some say louder). What I'm saying it it time to wake up and smell the roses and take it in. Healing can be done by ones self if you allow it to happen. Open your mind, your heart and enjoy what you have to the fullest. Think positive thoughts as much as you can. You've got to want to do this for it to work for you. wishing you nothing but positive thoughts...
 
S

silverheart

hi bazz, i know what u feels , i suffered it before and one of my friends is just in the same situation , believe me there is always hope and when u cross these dark days of your life , u will find that the facts u learn from it is the most valuable in your life ,hang on body
 
Z

z2172780

I hope you don't take offense to this, cuz there is no way I can truly understand what kind of stress you are going through, but what I would do is consolidate the finances, piss off overseas to somewhere like Thailand or Philippines, and stay for a year. Work out the shit (or simply de-stress and clear your mind) and then choose to come back or even stay there. A new place and new completely different environment has been known to do miracles for people. Seen plenty of people who just simply settle down to a whole new lifestyle in those places.
 
S

shalgham

Be positive, don't corner yourself things are much better and brighter than you think and make them to be. It's all in your head and believe me most people have issues in their lives and what makes them big is how you deal with them.

I agree with traveling it will have a positive impact on your perception.
 
B

BAZZ68

Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. Just to update i have hit a really low point in recent weeks, just dont know who iam anymore or where im going. Just dont know!!!!!
 
B

Bozzza

Hey bazz,

Stick in there mate just keep your real friends and family close and your bound to come out the other side in no time
 
MovesInSilence

MovesInSilence

Gender Dyslexic
Foundation Member
Points
0
Bazz68 got one tip for you, "don't give up".
Don't know who you are? look in a mirror and that is you.
Unsure of how to continue ... professional help is available, use it.
Be thankful you wake up every morning, some don't.
Be curious about what life has in store, it may surprise you one day.
As i said before, "don't give up" I haven't and i have no intention of giving up even though the odds are against me also.
Last bit of advice .. remember to breathe.
 
E

Evelynne

Best of Wishes to you and to all who are struggling at this time. I am struggling with my own problems, as I am sure many people are. I just thought I would wish you all luck

Eve xo
 
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