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Manners / Respect & Insecurities

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Larry83

Hi Everyone
Ok i know i had my little rabbid on the thread - The Ugly Side of Northbridge - but I was wanting to post about this as well.

After myself, who I usually try for personal improvements.
Recently I had a bad night bender of too much drink, but I had hoped i had remained in a respectful and courteous manner towards people.

I wanted to ask people about their experiences, for good & bad experiences they have had with people with manners.

This way we can
- still see that, there are nice people out there
- point out ways of why people have become so rude & violent
- put forward good stories that gave them "warm fuzzies"
- and also put forward stories about bad experiences and perhaps the reason they think the person acted in that way.
 
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Spunkymunky

I wrote a reply to you on the other thread as well :)i have two very good male friends (ones married and ones single) who are both 24 yrs old and grew up in the country. And whilst they do act like wankers sometimes (as 24yr old boys on the piss tend to do!) the respect and courtesy they show to women still suprises me when i see it. I have had so many bad experiences with men in general and their lack of morals or just a negative attitude. These guys astound me - they were simply brought up that women should always be respected and they show it all the time.

And i love them for it :)
 
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Larry83

Excellent Spunky hehe - i know i posted back to your post over there as you posted on this one i think. :)

My partner laughed her head off at my first date just for me running around to open her door for her.

I have heard though that I'm too nice. Hmm still wondering about that one, specially due to people being very wary then and wondering what my alterior motive is, ack its a pain that i cant be nice just because it is a good thing to do.
 
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Spunkymunky

Hmmm a nice guy as opposed to a sleazoid? I can't see a problem with that!
 
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Malmensa

Maybe, bit being too nice usually fails to impress in the real world, regardless of what women say they want. Most men can testify that women are more attracted to a guy with a bit of a "rough edge" if not an outright "bad boy". Being "nice" & rejected in favour of someone less nice common, men learn & adapt from those painful episodes after a while. IMHO opening doors is an anachronism with no place in todays world, go out with a guy like that & you could well be expected to fill in the role of 50s housewife soon after. Respect is a little more complex & less superflurous than that!
 
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sexiness

Malmensa said:
IMHO opening doors is an anachronism with no place in todays world, go out with a guy like that & you could well be expected to fill in the role of 50s housewife soon after.
Click to expand...

I disagree....met one who opens doors and in many ways thinks of me first...I'm definately not your 50's housewife and in no way has he expected me to be either and there is plenty of kink in our bedroom:love10:


Yes respect is complex but a few good old fashioned manners could never go astray in today's mixed up world. There has been many a times a guy has happily taken a seat while I'm pregnant and clearly tired...even if they're not going to get a shag out of the kind gesture, it does certainly offer a warm fuzzie for such a simple act ~ if only they were a little more common - I guess it certainly puts in perspective what a gem I have ::)
 
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Larry83

Bit rough around the edges

I have learnt to be a bit rough around the edges, but still like doing nice things for people.

I have learnt the hard way to not be so nice & trusting towards people came with time and experience, and yeah you are right, you adapt into it.

I must say though i do open doors not for the fact that im wanting a shag or for my partner to one day be a 50's housewife, i do it out of respect and as a nice gesture as i know some people like it.

i like to muck around and have fun but i have my limits as well, if that makes sense.
 
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Spunkymunky

Hmmm i like a guy with manners.....i've tried "a bit of rough" a few times and think its crap. For a start - its a turn off to me. Good manners and a bit of intelligence goes along way! Then there's the fact that treating someone badly will only get you so far - eventually even the most in love of people will wisen up eventually.
 
svengali

svengali

Foundation Member
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well, well,well!! A favourite Svengali rant has arisen on this forum. Thank you Larry!!

Granny used to say "manners maketh the man" and although she was definitely working class she brought her children up that way and my Father, in his turn raised his kids in the same way. If society is a machine manners are surely the oil which keeps everything running smoothly. In short, they do matter.

It is not a lot to ask, surely, that we keep an eye out for each other, open a door for someone (male or female) who has their hands full, give up seats on the bus to pregnant ladies and the elderly or let someone into the traffic ahead of us. What is wrong with the words "please" and "thank you" in requesting and acknowledging service? It is not a sign of weakness, just an acknowledgement of the other person's worth as a fellow member of society. That person may well be the butcher who supplied your snaggers, the baker who got up at an unholy hour to bake your daily loaf or even the surgeon who may one day save your life.

I like to think that the ladies who choose uncouth yobs over "nice guys" eventually come to realise that real men are those who are confident in themselves and don't have to swagger, brag and treat people with contempt in an attempt to appear "manly". There is a yawning gulf between being "rough" and being genuinely "tough".
 
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Spunkymunky

Sven......i spent five years with an uncouth yob and i look at him now and think "Good god spunky, what the HELL were you thinking!!" and i have genuine sympathy for his girlfriend.

Ah, to be able to find a nice guy.
 
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Larry83

Reminds me

It reminds me of an Add that used to be on TV.

Where a guy goes into a dentist and thinks that the dentist looks strangely familar.

He then recalls back to earlier in the day, where he was driving his car and abusing a lady in her car.

He know realises that, the lady he was abusing is the dentist.
 
L

Larry83

Just a quick niceness act i saw today,i thought i would post.
A guy jumped on the Bus and i think was a $1.60 short and this, one guy who had been sitting near towards the front of the bus, stood up and gave him a $5 dollar note.

Ahh i thought it was awesome to see.
 
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Spunkymunky

I see more nice stuff out here in the country than i do in Perth, people let you go in front of them if you only have one thing and they have lots. Or they offer to give you a lift somewhere, move something heavy for you and so on. My neighbour even put my bin out for me last week cos i was late leaving for school and forgot. I think thats pretty awesome - i am not used to that sort of thing.

The only interaction i had with neighbours before was calling the police on their drop kick asses!
 
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Spunkymunky

Today i fell off the roof. I was up there trying to rescue my exceptionally stupid cat and slipped - the drop was only about a metre and a half and got lucky and landed flat on my back so all i got was the wind knocked out of me.

The point is - i live on a street which only has houses on one side. The nearest neighbour opposite me is actually across the kalgoorlie pipeline, then across the great eastern hwy and then across some dirt to their house. And they looked out their window and saw me go ass over tit off the roof and got in their car and drove over to make sure i wasn't dead or crippled.

I think i am going to be a country bumpkin for the rest of my life.
 
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