• If you are having any problems posting threads plz message Kate. since latest update we have had 6 members with problems, sorted those but yet to find the problem.

making seedless apple juice - by Maria

bad apple

bad apple

A shit apple doesn't fall far from a shit tree
Gold Member
I try not to be a hypocrite but occasionally something from the past comes back to bite me. A while back I voted in the rnt hall of fame. I voted for a lovely young lady who id seen a number of times and left out the red hot favourite who I hadnt seen. Attempting once ,it happened to be her day off and again I missed the opportunity to vote fairly . However I voted anyway but publicly declared the one who I neglected was to be placed on my bucket list.(meaning I would like to do her before i die)After streaking the field to win easily this humble yet cheeky beauty stated she was excited to be on a bucket list. Well last week a mere 10 hours after completing the tour de france my tired and aching body was in need of some professional treatment. A mere 50 or so metres from the podium of my triumph I saw what can only be described as a wink. As I aproached this mirage a godess appeared and could see from my twisted and dishelved form that a miracle needed to be performed. I remember entering a large room where I felt was the scene of a traumatic incident of which had left deep scarring. This goddess comforted me and took me to her special little happy place where she proceeded to bend and straighten and rub and in no time iwas back to the professional athete I was the night before. With the looks and body of a top ten tennis player she challenged me to a quick game. Being a seeded player myself I accepted. My first serve of this delightful exercise was met with a teasing forehand then a firm backhand a double handed backhand then to bring the game to deuce (juice) an amazing reacharound drop shot that that set up match point. The match point was milked to an amazing climax with Maria taking my seed with an extraordinary reverse behind the back backhander that had me groaning as I was spent and beaten.Not one to take defeat lying down (as I had) a rematch was scheduled once id been able to regain my seed. Unfortunately or fortunately me being more a cyclist my tennis carreer was over despite firing a couple of shots. This young nubile minx is a worthy champion and a hall of famer of the highest order. If I had the chance to vote again I would do it a bit different despite there different styles I could not seperate the two champions in there field so if I couldnt vote for both id do the only fair thing I could and boycot the vote
 
bad apple,

Thanks for your wonderful and clever review of Maria. I must admit, I didn't realise she could play tennis, but she has aimed a couple of backhands at me in the past!

RB
 
Nicely phrased review.

Can I politely suggest you use paragraphs next time. It's much easier to read and makes your well written words flow better.
 
oz-surfer said:
oh crap - I just became a grammar nazi ..... Sorry.
Click to expand...
Yes you have . And to someone who refused to listen to any teacher (with the exception of my preprimary teacher Miss Lush, best 5 years of my life) let alone an english teacher or headmistress. So why now would I listen to a grommet
 
I love how your reviews are written. Glad to be lucky enough to get one of your special write ups.

Your reviews are always fun and imaginative yet give enough information about the experience

Did enjoy our little banter seasions haha
 
Is that another rematch challenge young lady? Ive been working on my ball control and a new trick shot that is going to be known as the money shot. With these in my repertoire I believe I can stretch you further and perhaps go all the way or at least make it to a (cable) tie breaker
 
bad apple said:
Yes you have . And to someone who refused to listen to any teacher (with the exception of my preprimary teacher Miss Lush, best 5 years of my life) let alone an english teacher or headmistress. So why now would I listen to a grommet
Click to expand...

I'm flattered you think I'm still a grommet. ;)
 
Maria said:
Oh sir cruiser ......

This lady does not provide such pleasures in her routine :p

But the occasional caressing doesn't go astray
Xx
Click to expand...
Well a lot better than threatening to rip the nipple clamps off of my nipples young lady, even in fun lol
 
bad apple said:
Maybe if you were liquored up ?
Maybe you need a new choreographer ?
Maybe im just clutching at straws?
Click to expand...

Maybe your on the maria comedown :-P

I hear it has serious side effects including
*slight dizzyness
* increased blood flow to major organs
* irratic hand movements (feels uncontrollable at times)

Cure
* revisiting is a most probable outcome
(And the only known cure)

Xxx
 
Maria said:
Maybe your on the maria comedown :p

I hear it has serious side effects including
*slight dizzyness
* increased blood flow to major organs
* irratic hand movements (feels uncontrollable at times)

Cure
* revisiting is a most probable outcome
(And the only known cure)

Xxx
Click to expand...
I wish I had the maria go down
 
Maria said:
Maybe your on the maria comedown :p

I hear it has serious side effects including
*slight dizzyness
* increased blood flow to major organs
* irratic hand movements (feels uncontrollable at times)

Cure
* revisiting is a most probable outcome
(And the only known cure)

Xxx
Click to expand...

Thanks Maria, the cure worked but now I need an increasingly frequent dosage.........Visited the doctor who diagnosed me as having Mariaddiction...

I'm setting up a charity to fund research for a permanent cure.

Hmmm...maybe another pair of hands might do the trick.....
 
glitch69 said:
Thanks Maria, the cure worked but now I need an increasingly frequent dosage.........Visited the doctor who diagnosed me as having Mariaddiction...

I'm setting up a charity to fund research for a permanent cure.

Hmmm...maybe another pair of hands might do the trick.....
Click to expand...

Glitch terrible sorry about this news :-P

I hear the cure is hard to come by these days, but two extra hands could definatly be arranged with any of the love winktresses :-P

I hope the fundraising goes well heehee
 
glitch69 said:
Thanks Maria, the cure worked but now I need an increasingly frequent dosage.........Visited the doctor who diagnosed me as having Mariaddiction...

I'm setting up a charity to fund research for a permanent cure.

Hmmm...maybe another pair of hands might do the trick.....
Click to expand...
Who wants to be cured ?
Not me ill just go to my therapy like a good little addict
 
bad apple said:
Who wants to be cured ?
Not me ill just go to my therapy like a good little addict
Click to expand...

Ah Mr Apple,

To develop a cure, one has to spend a lot of time in the Wink laboratories sampling and examining the subject up close. If a vacine is developed, it has to be tested extensively with the subject.

Since I already have Mariaddiction, I plan to use myself as part of the study.Unfortunately, research shall consume all of my time ( which i am willing to sacrifice ) and a lot of funds (which i do not have).

There may not be a cure but someone has to do it ....." It's a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known"
 
Hey guys just letting you all know that I leave in 6 days (only 5 working days though), so come on down and let me give you a proper goodbye :p

And remember my cuddles are free heehee

Xxx
 
Maria said:
Hey guys just letting you all know that I leave in 6 days (only 5 working days though), so come on down and let me give you a proper goodbye :p
being a highly religious apple could I perhaps accompany you to the 10am mass on sundae. I believe the confession box shall be open so it could be an opportunities to purge our sins

And remember my cuddles are free heehee

Xxx
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top