polo_ultra
Bronze Member
ok so this is a very long bit of typing i havent really formatted, i am hyped up on caffeine and this is what ive been typing. i want your opion on it and if you have any advice please tell me
i love this girl with more than my heart, she means everything to me and i dont think she realises it, she was the only thing that pulled me from off the rails, i was going through drugs and alcohol and doing stupid shit when i met her and she was the only one that got through to me that it was fucking stupid and that there was a better way to do things, i have been living with her for as long as we have been going out.
at her house first then at my mums house and now at our own place. while we were at my mums my father passed away, she wax there and helped me so much through a dark time, the night of my fathers funeral she proposed to me, and i said yes, since then all i have wanted to do is get her a ring but have never had enough money either because i was stupid with my money or because i was paying off debts which i still have. all i want to do is marry this girl because i want to spend the rest of my life with her, we have plans for buying our own house and living our lives doing what we love. its the night of our anniversary and she is working, there is nothing i can do i cant go in and see her i cant talk to her for long and its almost killing me, so im going to do what i can to make her smile when she gets home, i have already vacuumed and washed all the dishes, and dosed up on enough caffeine so i could do all this and im still going but i just dont know what i can do to make her feel loved and special. my head is racing and i cant think of anything for more than a couple of minutes. i just want to do something for her to say i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you but i cannot think of anything because i dont have money, and there isnt much i can do without having that. i bought her earrings yesterday and left them in her work bag so she would smile while she was at work and remember me when she was wearing them, but given the nature of her job i dont think thats really possible. i bought her a necklace about 7 months ago but the chain broke on it and i want to take it to get fixed but she cant even wear that at work because its a white gold heart with diamonds and she has to appear single at work, and that might just give it away that she isnt. so i dont know what to do
its doing my head in. i want to buy the ring and have it as a payment plan but she would find out, i dont really care about the finding out i just want to make it special when i give it to her and make he feel like her world is compete. so this is where i am, tonight she told me i could go out take 100 and go to bang but the condition is that i have to find a girl to hook up with but i just cant, everytime i think of doing it my heart just aches, and it makes me wonder why she wants me to do it, i dont want to think that its a making things even because she has cheated on me because she doesnt seem like that kind of person but it just makes me think. she was bi when i started going out with her and she has hooked up with girls i know that because i was there when she did it and she asked for permission i just dont want to do the same thing without her there because it doesnt feel right she sending me out to hook up and not having her there. and i just dont want to do it. i dont want to risk anything with this relationship i know we have gone through our troubles but i dont want to ruin it, i just want to stay with her treat her to nice things and just make her feel special.
i love this girl with more than my heart, she means everything to me and i dont think she realises it, she was the only thing that pulled me from off the rails, i was going through drugs and alcohol and doing stupid shit when i met her and she was the only one that got through to me that it was fucking stupid and that there was a better way to do things, i have been living with her for as long as we have been going out.
at her house first then at my mums house and now at our own place. while we were at my mums my father passed away, she wax there and helped me so much through a dark time, the night of my fathers funeral she proposed to me, and i said yes, since then all i have wanted to do is get her a ring but have never had enough money either because i was stupid with my money or because i was paying off debts which i still have. all i want to do is marry this girl because i want to spend the rest of my life with her, we have plans for buying our own house and living our lives doing what we love. its the night of our anniversary and she is working, there is nothing i can do i cant go in and see her i cant talk to her for long and its almost killing me, so im going to do what i can to make her smile when she gets home, i have already vacuumed and washed all the dishes, and dosed up on enough caffeine so i could do all this and im still going but i just dont know what i can do to make her feel loved and special. my head is racing and i cant think of anything for more than a couple of minutes. i just want to do something for her to say i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you but i cannot think of anything because i dont have money, and there isnt much i can do without having that. i bought her earrings yesterday and left them in her work bag so she would smile while she was at work and remember me when she was wearing them, but given the nature of her job i dont think thats really possible. i bought her a necklace about 7 months ago but the chain broke on it and i want to take it to get fixed but she cant even wear that at work because its a white gold heart with diamonds and she has to appear single at work, and that might just give it away that she isnt. so i dont know what to do
its doing my head in. i want to buy the ring and have it as a payment plan but she would find out, i dont really care about the finding out i just want to make it special when i give it to her and make he feel like her world is compete. so this is where i am, tonight she told me i could go out take 100 and go to bang but the condition is that i have to find a girl to hook up with but i just cant, everytime i think of doing it my heart just aches, and it makes me wonder why she wants me to do it, i dont want to think that its a making things even because she has cheated on me because she doesnt seem like that kind of person but it just makes me think. she was bi when i started going out with her and she has hooked up with girls i know that because i was there when she did it and she asked for permission i just dont want to do the same thing without her there because it doesnt feel right she sending me out to hook up and not having her there. and i just dont want to do it. i dont want to risk anything with this relationship i know we have gone through our troubles but i dont want to ruin it, i just want to stay with her treat her to nice things and just make her feel special.
