Well said Lantana and Laura: very similar to my own thought process.
Whilst we expect nothing in return for friendship the reality is for a relationship to survive, there must be something in it for both parties.
A few years ago I said this very thing to my children..all 4 of them.They are all adults now in their 20's and 30's.
I told them I had decided to sever all relationships, where I got nothing in return, this included family. They were shocked, and the older boys were distant for a year or two. All have come around except one son, and I now have a better relationship with three of my children, where I feel, the relationship is not all about them.
Talking with many other mothers around my own age, they were also feeling the same as me, where the relationship was all about the child, and the mother was a after thought. I think subconsciously we have raised our generation of children, giving them the things we thought we had missed out in childhood, and then the child became expectant and demanding...expecting attention when they demanded it, yet never their when we needed time.
I was in NZ a few months ago visiting my mother. I added up the days last year she had family visitors at her home. Nine in total, three of these days were a Australian Resident and 6 days from her two daughters and one NZ son with 4 NZ grandchildren.
In return she spent 48 days away from home visiting these same people.
I tried to point out to my brothers and sisters, the need for mum to not have to do all the travelling now that she is 77 . I did not receive one positive response. It is amazing how they feel it was mums duty to babysit when she was needed yet they are not prepared to give her time and company now that she is older and unable to travel.
My mum would prefer to remain in NZ, yet next year I will have to twist her arm to spend her last years in West Australia, where she will have two of her children and at least 4 of her grandchildren that are prepared to visit, so she does not get lonely.
The point is: all relationships need something for both parties to be successful. If you feel used and abused bitterness sets in, and life is too short to waste one precious moment on a one way friendship or relationship.
and i moved out. His gf wasnt even around much EVA and i thought we ht it off way better but hey what can you do? now im a sex worker and i get paid to have fun lol.
