Fe
My poor decision-making and lack of self control has finally caught up with me.
On Tuesday I had a rough day and decided to go get a massage at a local. The massage was of the tantric persuasion and i ended up having a rub down in the part of my body that doesn't generally get a lot of sun, let alone a rub down.
Well the day after I experienced some pretty hefty flu symptoms and today I've woken up to a bit of an itch.
I can only assume I've contracted herpes and I've got no one but myself to blame.
I don't exactly know why I'm posting this or what I expect to get out of it. Does anybody know of anything that I could be mistaking these symptoms for?
Has anybody had a similar circumstance and had to breach it with there partner?
I'm at a loss and just want to check out entirely
Feel for you, even if in a sexless marriage and thus unlikely to pass anything on, the stress of not knowing can be debilitating.
Having been where you are (although not the same symptoms and issue as you) when a condom broke, or the times where the little head outranked the big head and I've had "you are silly". The stress of waiting for an acceptable incubation period to allow adequate testing, then going for the testing, waiting for the results etc, all the time thinking of the what if's with the biggest one being "how do I tell my wife?"... How will they take it? What will happen? All amplified when kids are involved or perhaps you are a public figure.
In my case I've been fortunate to get negative results in all incidents. I've even tested at regular intervals just to be safe. Yet prior to the result I was at the significantly paralysed by the fear of the what if?
Without getting into the debate about our justifications for or against punting whilst in a relationship, the reality is we are in most cases cheating on our partners and with that comes the real risk of being caught out with very heavy consequences. Generally we learn from past mistakes and get better at hiding our tracks, so not to get caught out in the act, but catching an untreatable STI is something that would be hard to hide and in fact if your still sexually active with your partner, morally wrong. For most, even if the relationship isn't great, we wouldn't want to impact their life by infecting them.
Unfortunately the worst of the STIs not easily treated or identified are actually the easiest to catch. Think HPV (by mere contact, but can often is treated by the body, albeit 1-2yrs), Syphilis (easily treated if you catch it) and Herpes (not treatable) etc. So even those just engaging in a body to body massage without an oral or penetrative sex are at risk. The reality is that condoms only protect us to a limited extent, the rest is down to luck.
Men, being relatively destructive and risk takers in mindset, we often put ourselves in situations we later regret. So when desire or emotional / physical needs overcomes logic, we take a risk and play the game of roulette. Justified or not. 9 times out of 10, perhaps even better odds, we come out smiling, but occasionally things go south and our worlds are turned upside down, including that of our partners and family.
If only we had true anonymous testing that was quick and without contact tracing, more would get tested regularly, treated quickly and those who can't be treated more aware and hopefully reframe from spreading it further, wrecking other peoples lives. That said the wait until testing becomes viable (incubation periods etc) will never go away, although perhaps technology will shorten it over time.
I actually think for most of us, the fear of getting caught out by our partners is much worse than the physical impact of the STI. In the meantime being a punter has risks and very real consequences. It's a dice we roll.
For what it is worth, I'd agree with others on here that it would be highly unlikely that you have anything serious. Try to relax and watch things closely, give it a few days, then as they say if symptoms persist see your doctor.
