C
Custer
Conducted by Custer 6/2/14
Prostitution is well known for being the longest standing profession in the world. It exists across all cultures and has spread over every continent with a stable demand for this service. Ceaselessly it has flourished through the ages and is still growing and always will. Large portions of the patrons that keep this profession alive are married men. The majority of the voiced opinions that surface are the one sided views of people that frown upon this act. But is there another side to it?
Dave is a well-established gentleman that has been using the services of the sex industry for nearly 2 decades while being part of two separate marriages. He is kind enough to have agreed to being interviewed to give us an insight to his world of where marriage and sex workers coexist in his life. He shares his deepest thoughts, feelings, and reasons as to how he feels he is fulfilled by what he can make best of both these worlds.
Dave. Give us an insight of your marriage situations.
My first marriage began when I was 21 years old. My wife at the time was 18. We met in the eastern states where we both lived and had dated for a few years. Her parents moved to Perth and she was a family orientated girl. So in time we both moved here so that she can be closer to her family.
Wow, that sounds like a big move.
Yeah...I did that so she was happier and moving did not really worry me.
In hindsight we may have been too young and inexperienced. As we matured we grew apart. Particularly in our outlook to life. Despite that we seemed to be relatively happy. We had children and purchased a home and went through the motions of domestic life.
I distinctly remember that after about 7 years my commitments and experiences of the marriage became obligatory. A feeling of boredom and dissatisfaction was apparent with my home life situation.
Boredom? Do elaborate…
Well I once heard from someone that women are like flowers, and men are like bees. Flowers are like to be admired and visited by many bees while bees want to visit many flowers. Men are hardwired to be hunters, conquerors, and we have a natural urge to procreate as far and wide as possible.
After 7 years the wife still had expectations of being provided for, protected, and romantically entertained which is bullshit. And men still have the boyish urge for sex and a lot of it to the point of bullshit.
I believe that both men and women live in a dream world fuelled by expectations that come from the movies and media we are exposed to. Chick flicks and romance novels inspire women and while men are influenced by porn. After a while life just does not keep up with these expectations. The result is that women lose interest in the frequent intense and spontaneous sex but men don’t. And with me getting less sex, I was less inclined to entertain her ideals. With that a downward spiral was self-perpetuating. In time my ex wife was set in her ways of routine and boredom…
At this point both Dave and myself was interrupted by a very attractive 10 out of 10 brunette in gymnasium attire. After a good 20 seconds of non-conversation we had a laugh and carried on with the interview where I asked him the next question.
So when was the first time you visited a working lady?
There came a time when my job required for me to travel. That can be a very dangerous thing for men as it gives an opportunity to act on some much repressed desires. You know the old saying of when the cat’s away the mice come out to play. Well the cat is having a bloody great time as well *laugh*.
The first time was at Hay St, Kalgoorlie, in place known as the Stables. I remember I picked a slim brunette and she led me to a tin room where there was a gurney. It was not a nice experience. Starfish would be the popular term that best describes that encounter.
So how did you feel after that first experience?
Guilt. Then the guilt disappeared. I realised that my desire was fulfilled but the guilt was short lived. Over the years there is still a bit of guilt. Yet this newfound hobby became a norm and the wife became part of the furniture in that respect.
So this developed into more?
Yes, from there more travel became available. And on my travels I was bound to meet women that met my physical needs and more.
What was happening to your marriage at this stage?
It was not fulfilling. I’d find myself going to work early and coming home late. I made excuses about the bed causing discomfort on my back just to sleep in a separate room, as I simply had no connection with my wife.
What was life like day to day at that point?
I was depressed. And I was seeking a solution. I am a whole person and there was something I needed. I am sure that no man has regrets about having too many women.
So how did that marriage end?
I met someone that fulfilled my needs at a physical and emotional level. So about then I had a 2-year relationship with the new woman in my life. My first marriage ended and in time I married my current wife.
So are things different with your current wife?
No. I found that the same thing happened over a similar amount of time.
By then I had come to 2 possible conclusions:
Something is wrong with me, or something was wrong in the way I was doing things. That I may be a bad judge of women, of character, or that I was bad at relationships. Or that this is totally natural.
I once read somewhere that in life we should have three relationships. One in our youth where we procreate, a second marriage in our mid life where we travel the world and play, and the third in our old age for companionship.
So in a nutshell how do you feel about your journey of visiting working ladies?
Well in my first marriage the physical and emotional fulfilment faded. And the marriage felt more like a business relationship where mutual benefits are expected. My wife had most of her benefits met, so I felt it was only fair that I had one of my major benefits met too. If I am not getting my needs met at home and if I can resolve it, then why not? I still wanted to provide and protect and loved my wife, but there was a missing dimension of something I needed. And this is very much the case with my current marriage. A working lady can take care of this one component. The danger though is falling for a working lady.
Did this happen?
Of course!
Give us one example.
I met a wonderful working lady and I saw her many times. Feelings developed and I expressed them to her. She seemed to express mutual feelings. Things were getting to a stage where I was contemplating leaving my current wife for this lady.
And what happened?
I soon discovered that the feelings were not mutual. The underlying factor was money. And realising this I did not want to repeat this cycle again after nearly 15 years.
Do you have any opinions on the morality of visiting a working lady whole being married?
We can say that it is wrong and that it is cheating, but here is the alternative. A growing frustration that leads to depression and agitation. There was a perception that I was being taken advantage of, being ignored, and being disrespected.
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. It has always been there and always will be there. It is needed. Yes even I know deep down that it is morally wrong, yet I believe it is healthy.
My take on it is to be discreet about it and don’t break marriages by being careless and inconsiderate. And don’t bring home diseases by being unsafe. It is like gambling, done in balance and moderation it is a lot of fun. Done otherwise, it can lead to a lot of loss and suffering.
What do you believe would have happened if you never went down the path of visiting working ladies?
My frustration and dissatisfaction would have grown into resentment. And from there my actions would have lead to a very unhappy marriage. I know sex is only one part of marriage. Yet when it was neglected it became a huge issue. In my experience, when women get to a certain age, they become less interested.
There is an old joke that goes like this:
How do you get a girlfriend to stop giving you blowjobs? Marry her!!!
Did your wife ever suspect or catch you?
Yes, she suspected and caught me.
How did you deal with it?
I dealt with it by being honest and explained why I did it. There was only going to be one of 2 outcomes. Divorce, or stay together.
How did that end for you?
After I explained, she understood that it was partly her fault. She woke up to the situation a bit, and was fulfilling my needs occasionally. The relationship improved for a while. But that was short lived. It soon fell back to being the way it was before.
In fact I caught her doing something similar. I found out that she was talking romantically with someone that she met online. She was fulfilling what I was not giving her, which was the romance, and the attention that she desired. The danger is that these things do not last. Like not even our relationship getting better. That was temporary. I believe that things do not evolve. They are at the effect of atrophy.
Well Dave, if there is there anything you want to say to the public?
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world and it fulfils an old need. And it is difficult to deny that relationships change over time. And in these changes men still need the physical aspect and that never changes. The problem is all of us accepting each other’s behaviours.
Moral issues are very hard to battle. And prostitution is such a taboo in society. Morality is based on the belief systems of each individual and there is no one has a subjective view. It is all objective.
Working ladies suffer from the judgements of society. And many engage in self-damaging activities as a result.
To the working ladies…Respect yourself as you fulfil a need that is as old as history itself. And what you do is nothing to be ashamed of.
To wives…when your husbands feel the need to see working ladies, it means some very important needs are not being met. And perhaps these needs require identifying and working out.
To punters…you don’t necessarily have to feel guilty. Be discreet, be safe, and while you engage in such activities do not take away from your family. Your needs are your needs and your family, particularly if you have children should not miss out or suffer in order for you to meet these needs. Do this responsibly.
Well thank you very much Dave for the insight you have given to many readers about why you and many married men engage in the sex industry. It has certainly reinforced some of my beliefs and knowledge on this topic as well as some insights I did not know about.
Thank you. But I will acknowledge that these ideas and beliefs are my own and I wish not to speak on behalf of anyone but myself.
It has been a pleasure and thanks again. I hope that this insight will add value to the lives of everyone who reads this.
Prostitution is well known for being the longest standing profession in the world. It exists across all cultures and has spread over every continent with a stable demand for this service. Ceaselessly it has flourished through the ages and is still growing and always will. Large portions of the patrons that keep this profession alive are married men. The majority of the voiced opinions that surface are the one sided views of people that frown upon this act. But is there another side to it?
Dave is a well-established gentleman that has been using the services of the sex industry for nearly 2 decades while being part of two separate marriages. He is kind enough to have agreed to being interviewed to give us an insight to his world of where marriage and sex workers coexist in his life. He shares his deepest thoughts, feelings, and reasons as to how he feels he is fulfilled by what he can make best of both these worlds.
Dave. Give us an insight of your marriage situations.
My first marriage began when I was 21 years old. My wife at the time was 18. We met in the eastern states where we both lived and had dated for a few years. Her parents moved to Perth and she was a family orientated girl. So in time we both moved here so that she can be closer to her family.
Wow, that sounds like a big move.
Yeah...I did that so she was happier and moving did not really worry me.
In hindsight we may have been too young and inexperienced. As we matured we grew apart. Particularly in our outlook to life. Despite that we seemed to be relatively happy. We had children and purchased a home and went through the motions of domestic life.
I distinctly remember that after about 7 years my commitments and experiences of the marriage became obligatory. A feeling of boredom and dissatisfaction was apparent with my home life situation.
Boredom? Do elaborate…
Well I once heard from someone that women are like flowers, and men are like bees. Flowers are like to be admired and visited by many bees while bees want to visit many flowers. Men are hardwired to be hunters, conquerors, and we have a natural urge to procreate as far and wide as possible.
After 7 years the wife still had expectations of being provided for, protected, and romantically entertained which is bullshit. And men still have the boyish urge for sex and a lot of it to the point of bullshit.
I believe that both men and women live in a dream world fuelled by expectations that come from the movies and media we are exposed to. Chick flicks and romance novels inspire women and while men are influenced by porn. After a while life just does not keep up with these expectations. The result is that women lose interest in the frequent intense and spontaneous sex but men don’t. And with me getting less sex, I was less inclined to entertain her ideals. With that a downward spiral was self-perpetuating. In time my ex wife was set in her ways of routine and boredom…
At this point both Dave and myself was interrupted by a very attractive 10 out of 10 brunette in gymnasium attire. After a good 20 seconds of non-conversation we had a laugh and carried on with the interview where I asked him the next question.
So when was the first time you visited a working lady?
There came a time when my job required for me to travel. That can be a very dangerous thing for men as it gives an opportunity to act on some much repressed desires. You know the old saying of when the cat’s away the mice come out to play. Well the cat is having a bloody great time as well *laugh*.
The first time was at Hay St, Kalgoorlie, in place known as the Stables. I remember I picked a slim brunette and she led me to a tin room where there was a gurney. It was not a nice experience. Starfish would be the popular term that best describes that encounter.
So how did you feel after that first experience?
Guilt. Then the guilt disappeared. I realised that my desire was fulfilled but the guilt was short lived. Over the years there is still a bit of guilt. Yet this newfound hobby became a norm and the wife became part of the furniture in that respect.
So this developed into more?
Yes, from there more travel became available. And on my travels I was bound to meet women that met my physical needs and more.
What was happening to your marriage at this stage?
It was not fulfilling. I’d find myself going to work early and coming home late. I made excuses about the bed causing discomfort on my back just to sleep in a separate room, as I simply had no connection with my wife.
What was life like day to day at that point?
I was depressed. And I was seeking a solution. I am a whole person and there was something I needed. I am sure that no man has regrets about having too many women.
So how did that marriage end?
I met someone that fulfilled my needs at a physical and emotional level. So about then I had a 2-year relationship with the new woman in my life. My first marriage ended and in time I married my current wife.
So are things different with your current wife?
No. I found that the same thing happened over a similar amount of time.
By then I had come to 2 possible conclusions:
Something is wrong with me, or something was wrong in the way I was doing things. That I may be a bad judge of women, of character, or that I was bad at relationships. Or that this is totally natural.
I once read somewhere that in life we should have three relationships. One in our youth where we procreate, a second marriage in our mid life where we travel the world and play, and the third in our old age for companionship.
So in a nutshell how do you feel about your journey of visiting working ladies?
Well in my first marriage the physical and emotional fulfilment faded. And the marriage felt more like a business relationship where mutual benefits are expected. My wife had most of her benefits met, so I felt it was only fair that I had one of my major benefits met too. If I am not getting my needs met at home and if I can resolve it, then why not? I still wanted to provide and protect and loved my wife, but there was a missing dimension of something I needed. And this is very much the case with my current marriage. A working lady can take care of this one component. The danger though is falling for a working lady.
Did this happen?
Of course!
Give us one example.
I met a wonderful working lady and I saw her many times. Feelings developed and I expressed them to her. She seemed to express mutual feelings. Things were getting to a stage where I was contemplating leaving my current wife for this lady.
And what happened?
I soon discovered that the feelings were not mutual. The underlying factor was money. And realising this I did not want to repeat this cycle again after nearly 15 years.
Do you have any opinions on the morality of visiting a working lady whole being married?
We can say that it is wrong and that it is cheating, but here is the alternative. A growing frustration that leads to depression and agitation. There was a perception that I was being taken advantage of, being ignored, and being disrespected.
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. It has always been there and always will be there. It is needed. Yes even I know deep down that it is morally wrong, yet I believe it is healthy.
My take on it is to be discreet about it and don’t break marriages by being careless and inconsiderate. And don’t bring home diseases by being unsafe. It is like gambling, done in balance and moderation it is a lot of fun. Done otherwise, it can lead to a lot of loss and suffering.
What do you believe would have happened if you never went down the path of visiting working ladies?
My frustration and dissatisfaction would have grown into resentment. And from there my actions would have lead to a very unhappy marriage. I know sex is only one part of marriage. Yet when it was neglected it became a huge issue. In my experience, when women get to a certain age, they become less interested.
There is an old joke that goes like this:
How do you get a girlfriend to stop giving you blowjobs? Marry her!!!
Did your wife ever suspect or catch you?
Yes, she suspected and caught me.
How did you deal with it?
I dealt with it by being honest and explained why I did it. There was only going to be one of 2 outcomes. Divorce, or stay together.
How did that end for you?
After I explained, she understood that it was partly her fault. She woke up to the situation a bit, and was fulfilling my needs occasionally. The relationship improved for a while. But that was short lived. It soon fell back to being the way it was before.
In fact I caught her doing something similar. I found out that she was talking romantically with someone that she met online. She was fulfilling what I was not giving her, which was the romance, and the attention that she desired. The danger is that these things do not last. Like not even our relationship getting better. That was temporary. I believe that things do not evolve. They are at the effect of atrophy.
Well Dave, if there is there anything you want to say to the public?
Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world and it fulfils an old need. And it is difficult to deny that relationships change over time. And in these changes men still need the physical aspect and that never changes. The problem is all of us accepting each other’s behaviours.
Moral issues are very hard to battle. And prostitution is such a taboo in society. Morality is based on the belief systems of each individual and there is no one has a subjective view. It is all objective.
Working ladies suffer from the judgements of society. And many engage in self-damaging activities as a result.
To the working ladies…Respect yourself as you fulfil a need that is as old as history itself. And what you do is nothing to be ashamed of.
To wives…when your husbands feel the need to see working ladies, it means some very important needs are not being met. And perhaps these needs require identifying and working out.
To punters…you don’t necessarily have to feel guilty. Be discreet, be safe, and while you engage in such activities do not take away from your family. Your needs are your needs and your family, particularly if you have children should not miss out or suffer in order for you to meet these needs. Do this responsibly.
Well thank you very much Dave for the insight you have given to many readers about why you and many married men engage in the sex industry. It has certainly reinforced some of my beliefs and knowledge on this topic as well as some insights I did not know about.
Thank you. But I will acknowledge that these ideas and beliefs are my own and I wish not to speak on behalf of anyone but myself.
It has been a pleasure and thanks again. I hope that this insight will add value to the lives of everyone who reads this.
and this forum allows and provides a safe place to discuss be it still a public one 
