Kimbo14b
Bronze Member
Cool its great you have stayed friends
I'm in love with an escort. I really love her as a person, not only as a body to "buy". How do I establish a relationship with her? How do I court her
Yeah you took the punt and your still friends. So that’s a bonus, yes I have been in similar situations. Though never ended up in a relationship but could of. We actually stopped seeing each other all together. So I still wonder how she is doing in life. She was a stunner from Barcelona, she wanted a relationship and from what I heard, she got in one. She was treated not nice by her last guy, so I thought she would of learnt to stay away from guys who aren’t nice. Interesting how life goes at times.
Paddy19
Silver Member
This is interesting, I am in a situation similar to this although not exactly. I have been seeing this woman for about 1 year now, after a while of interacting her through a conventional booking number and ad she reached out to me and provided me with an alternate set of contact details which are of "her real world". since then we have been discussing a number of things about ourselves and our lives, she has requested that she wants help transitioning into other kinds of work, a field which I had mentioned I have expertise in. We still see each regularly as usual but recently it came to the point we spent time together but without me paying, she has also stated that she "wasn't working today" To be honest I am not overly investing myself into this situation and continue to play it cautious. I don't normally believe its logical to dive into anything whether it be a transactional relationship or a non-transactional conventional relationship. the biggest thing I can learn is that life is Grey and uncertain and it always bodes well to treat things with caution before there are Clear as day signals to dive into anything.
johnmatilda
Legend Member
My crystal ball asked me to tell you that she will be asking to borrow some money in the not too distant future. Let us know if this turns out to be true!
Paddy19
Silver Member
Agreed. It's satisfying for now but I think it's important to know whenever it's time to cut people out of your life. This is not exclusive to these kind of transactional relationships. I've had friends who have crossed the line and screwed me over and they did not deserve my forgiveness either.
Paddy19
Silver Member
looks like things have been going steady for over a year now and it's all good. She went away to her home country for a while and thought she would disappear, but she messaged me from her hometown and bought me some amazing and very special
. We have double downed on her career and I have offered some higher Level intellectual business advise and support which she has been very responsive too. I think some punters realise that some women just want to build a better life for themselves and that's all it takes. Albeit it took a decent amount of attention and effort.
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Paddy19
Silver Member
I am closing off on this. to answer your question. 1)The most important feature is maintaining a high quality DM chats, you'll be reaching out to each other at all hours of the day or whenever something good or bad happens. The DM chats should be mutual and you will be able to talk about whatever you want all the time, even when you yourself are just feeling lonely this is not the number she uses for bookings 2) She'll invite you to her apartment with no pretense or alterior motives and she'll just want to see you, you might not even sleep together just watch movies and then fall asleep. 3)She'll start feeling comfortable introducing you to her friends and you'll start going out to dinners together, just picking her up, have a nice meal and drop her home, maybe sometimes there will be intimacy but don't expect that will always be the case. 4) This is the one you probably don't want to hear. But she'll start telling you about the problems she is having in her life, she won't neccesary want you to solve them but it's really important you just listen to her, sometimes she might just want someone to share her burdens with, if you can handle her complaining about her mum who is naggin her for instance, you are already there.
johnmatilda
Legend Member
Sounds like being an emotional tampon...
Paddy19
Silver Member
That's ok...........YMMV
Celeste_SJ
Gold Member
Well, its very brave of you to confess your feelings to the forum... I think you need to confess your feelings to the working lady. You've been given some great advice how to proceed if she feels the same way for you and if she doesn't then you can be greatful you had a really good GFE!
SneakyLink
Gold Member
Some of the stories here will become painful lessons.
Paddy19
Silver Member
this was an interesting thread. I see what you mean but some people live with no regrets.
Talking to some of the popular lovely ladies in the industry now, you have no idea how many well meaning men are setting themselves up for heartbreak 
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Does she feel the same? Like, really? Please don't be creepy
Paddy19
Silver Member
Ok understood. I have made a very close friend through these experiences and it has been quite fulfilling. If we are suggesting obsession as being an issue I also agree with obsession or infatuation being bad. I think putting too many feelings into anything is dangerous. The biggest thing I have found is the pulling back of the curtain when developing a friendship out of a transactional experience. As I have said in other threads. Cost of living, Christmas bills. The power of friendship and hanging out needs to replace some costly activities. That's why I have no regrets. That being said, I get what you mean. I am sorry you think I am creepy. I didn't intend to come across that way.
SneakyLink
Gold Member
This is just my personal take on things, not trying to have a go at anyone.
If anyone’s planning on giving a punt at this, I hope you manage to freeze hell over while you’re at it.
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I didn't say you are creepy.
I said "please don't be creepy".
If she doesn't feel the same she may feel creeped out
Paddy19
Silver Member
Ah I got it. Yeah I guess with some people in the industry its just a short time gig. So with a pathway into other things, friendships can be important. Mutual support and so on. I think when things are too one sided (no reciprocation.) It will always seem creepy. I can't comment either way without seeming biased. having a life and contact with someone outside the world of "a booking" seems a clear enough indicator in my books.
I mean this with good intention. Over the years I have seen too many WLs particularly ones that are not solid in knowing what they are doing creating connections with clients outside of bookings.
Often they do this with many. And too many times there is something in it for her and not so much for the men strung along with it.
How do I know? I see it many times, and I have been one of these.
Paddy19
Silver Member
I agree. I guess some people have the capacity to give and take within boundaries. It's difficult but not impossible. It does require a degree of personal boundaries and setting limits. It's important to discern what you are getting into and assess situation as a case by case. As I mentioned before, it's an important life skill to also be able to cut something back (relationships, jobs, agreements) if it's not good for you. But that also comes with know what is and isn't good for your wellbeing. It's same concept as "being stuck in a toxic relationship or a toxic work environment" Always see the signs and make the necessary changes if it gets that way. With discipline not overly emotional.
I'm in a similiar situation like yourself but I've established and maintained a good relationship/friendship with the WL I've been seeing for a while.
I've been honest with her from the start and she has always been honest with me we always maintain good communication.
We have had some amazing conversations in person and by texting each other also she trust me so that's a good thing.
She gives me gifts and welcomes me to drop by her place and pick up a gift without getting a booking out of me.
I've told the WL I've been seeing how I felt about her she said she didn't want a boyfriend at time she said but things could change.
Having a relationship with a WL it's not easy both of you should be honest, respectful, trust each other and maintain good communication.
Also you have to accept her for the job she does for the relationship to work.
I've become good friends with the WL I've been seeing if things lead to a relationship great so be it if not I'll stand strong and happy being friends with her.
Being single is hard it's not easy loneliness does kick in but you got to stay positive also don't drink your sorrows you will feel worst been there before mate I felt a little depressed the next day I was fine we all go through ups and down.
Relationships are hard with but with good communication anything is possible.
Don't force the relationship tell her how you feel about her and she will open up to me as well if it is meant to be then great if not don't be sad you can still be friends.
I've been honest with her from the start and she has always been honest with me we always maintain good communication.
We have had some amazing conversations in person and by texting each other also she trust me so that's a good thing.
She gives me gifts and welcomes me to drop by her place and pick up a gift without getting a booking out of me.
I've told the WL I've been seeing how I felt about her she said she didn't want a boyfriend at time she said but things could change.
Having a relationship with a WL it's not easy both of you should be honest, respectful, trust each other and maintain good communication.
Also you have to accept her for the job she does for the relationship to work.
I've become good friends with the WL I've been seeing if things lead to a relationship great so be it if not I'll stand strong and happy being friends with her.
Being single is hard it's not easy loneliness does kick in but you got to stay positive also don't drink your sorrows you will feel worst been there before mate I felt a little depressed the next day I was fine we all go through ups and down.
Relationships are hard with but with good communication anything is possible.
Don't force the relationship tell her how you feel about her and she will open up to me as well if it is meant to be then great if not don't be sad you can still be friends.
Been where you are. Beautiful human, real warmth, and your brain starts writing a future. It’s honest. It’s also how hearts get bruised.
Here’s what saved me: feelings can be true while the frame stays professional. If she wants anything off-clock, she’ll show you without a nudge—unprompted messages, time that isn’t tied to a booking. If that isn’t happening, believe what is happening.
I tried chasing once. It turned me into “client with a crush.” Didn’t feel good. What did: be generous, be easy to host, no pressure, no tests. Leave her better than you found her, then keep your centre.
When your chest gets loud, step back quietly. Space isn’t a trick; it’s first aid. Cling, you must not. Calm, you must be.
If you need a clean line to close the loop:
“Hey—I’ve really enjoyed our time. I’m catching feelings and don’t want to put that on you. Happy to keep it professional, or I’ll take some space. Either way, thank you.”
Say it once, live it, and build your life around more than this.
Your attention has value. Boundaries, spoken once. Dignity over drama. With or without this, you’ll be okay—promise.
To everyone who weighed in: respect. The mix of kindness and guardrails is the medicine here.
Chase peace, not proof. If something real wants you, it will walk toward you. If not—walk on.