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"I only want to be friends"

G

Gentleman

Recently my girlfriend broke up with me and said that she still wanted to be friends. I asked if she really did want to be friends and she assured me that she did. I left it for about a month then we began texting each other which I thought was great. I asked if she wanted to have have chat and she said yes. I called her, no answer then left a message. She has not returned my call. Why do women say they want to be friends after they end a relationship when they have no intention of doing that. I would rather suffer all the pain of a break up in one lot rather than thinking there might be still a friendship then be disappointed again.:confused:
 
asianguy77

asianguy77

Diamond Member
Points
4
Gentleman said:
Recently my girlfriend broke up with me and said that she still wanted to be friends. I asked if she really did want to be friends and she assured me that she did. I left it for about a month then we began texting each other which I thought was great. I asked if she wanted to have have chat and she said yes. I called her, no answer then left a message. She has not returned my call. Why do women say they want to be friends after they end a relationship when they have no intention of doing that. I would rather suffer all the pain of a break up in one lot rather than thinking there might be still a friendship then be disappointed again.:confused:
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Well could be a number of reasons....

1. She sensed that you wanted to be more than friends, so became worried
2. Girls say 'lets be friends' after a breakup, as they don't want to make it seem as they are the 'bad' party, especially if they are the ones instigating the breakup.
3. They may say 'lets be friends' as an afterthought, hoping it would soften the blows of the initial words "I WANT TO BREAK UP"
4. They could say 'lets be friends' , although not necessarily mean it. Just like when you say 'how are you to strangers'. You not necessarily that interested in how their day is going, more out of courtesy
5. She wants to see what's on the other side, and whether it's greener, and if she is still 40 and unmarried, she will hope you still want her back.

I'm sure other agony aunts may be able to give you more advice...
 
homer

homer

Doh!
Legend Member
Points
0
I reckon it's guilt that she said yes to friendship. She felt sorry that she ended it. If it is you who ended it, she would probably ask you to go *Beep* off. lol...ok that's just my analysis.

And sometimes when a girl says yes, they really mean no. Or maybe wait a while, no a bit longer than that. Maybe you called too soon.

When my ex broke up with me years ago, she wanted to remain friend. So many times I wanted to call her, but I refrained from doing so. I had my own dignity to protect. lol...But she was the 1st one I called when I had a car accident, though she didn't rush out to see me. It was a minor accident anyway. I let her contact me instead of me calling her.
 
J

jake28

Gentleman said:
Recently my girlfriend broke up with me and said that she still wanted to be friends. I asked if she really did want to be friends and she assured me that she did. I left it for about a month then we began texting each other which I thought was great. I asked if she wanted to have have chat and she said yes. I called her, no answer then left a message. She has not returned my call. Why do women say they want to be friends after they end a relationship when they have no intention of doing that. I would rather suffer all the pain of a break up in one lot rather than thinking there might be still a friendship then be disappointed again.:confused:
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Sorry to hear that mate. Maybe she had every intention of being friends then something happened (a friend advising her against it, a possible new relationship, etc) that steered her the other way. Best thing is to release the old to make way for the new. After all, there aren't many girls who can handle their new fella being friends with an ex-girlfriend. Just my thinking.
 
C

colzilla

You sound like a nice dude. Why don't you find some other woman who really does appreciate you.
 
W

WRXXXR

Be polite, don't make contact with her, move on but nail her friend(s) anyway:D

That'll make you feel better and sooner rather than later you'll be sharing that tub of ice cream (choc obsession conniseour ftw) with a new girlfriend rather than by yourself :p
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
18
I think asianguy hit on the head with reason No4 Just being polite
Unfortunately it just seems to be one of those break up cliches like "Ïts not you Its me"
And I think many of us know while in the relationship if there is a True friendship
building along with the "Fun"
 
Demon

Demon

Legend Member
Points
0
"Let's be friends" is just the easy let down. I haven't found one that means it yet.
 
W

WRXXXR

Of course they don't, but when blokes say it I'm sure they don't mean it either.

I've never been dumped before so i dont know how it feels but only 1 past girlfriend I've kept in touch with and it took several years before we were back being "friends".
 
S

Saige

I am friends with a great many of my ex's....I fell for them for a reason, cos they are great people, just becuase the relationship doesnt work doesnt mean I can be adult enough to have them as a friend.

I think that you have made the initial contact...give her some time, if she is a friend who deserves your friendship she will be in contact, if not, her loss!!

Breakups are never easy, but people can choose to make them more difficult.

One question...If you want to be her friend cos you are not over her....then give it some time for your heart to heal abit as being around her will only make it harder...maybe she realises this hence stepping back!
 
M

Madison!

She was obviously trying to be polite in telling you she wanted to be friends. Dont be disappointed at least you know the truth now.
 
G

Gentleman

She was really adamant that she wanted to be friends. I think she is a great lady even though we can't be in a relationship so I thought she could be a great friend as I like her values and outlook on life.
 
W

wingman

No such thing as ex friends.

The only occasions where there are ex friends is because one or both still wants a piece but can't have a piece because either a) one already has someone else or b) one doesn't like but tolerates the other
 
S

Saige

wingman said:
No such thing as ex friends.

The only occasions where there are ex friends is because one or both still wants a piece but can't have a piece because either a) one already has someone else or b) one doesn't like but tolerates the other
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I disagree strongly....not for all relationships of course. But if you put all bullshit aside and choose easy not hard....then it is easy!!
 
W

wingman

Saige said:
I disagree strongly....not for all relationships of course. But if you put all bullshit aside and choose easy not hard....then it is easy!!
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Tell me how many of your ex's who are friends don't want a piece of you.
 
C

colzilla

Is she going to be a real friend or a fair weather friend? That's what I would ask myself.
Seems as if she is giving you the run around at the moment. That's not a good sign.
 
S

sexnut

Saige said:
I disagree strongly....not for all relationships of course. But if you put all bullshit aside and choose easy not hard....then it is easy!!
Click to expand...

What if they want to make a booking? Does it get awkward
 
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