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How many is too many?

mrys

Member Moderator
Talking Turkey Moderator
Was out on the weekend catching up with some of my very best mates and an interesting topic came up. One of them has recently re entered the dating game and the conversation turned to how many previous lovers (penetrative sex we're talking here for free) was too many. And if exceeding a 'reasonable' number would that make men or woman be classified as promiscuous.......and therefore perhaps best to avoid. I did google average number of sexual partners for Australia and it came up as 7 for women and 13 for men. I've definitely had more than 13 so am I now promiscuous? I have dated women who have had more than 7 sexual partners.....and it showed :-) What number do you think = promiscuous for both men and/or woman? I have never thought of myself as promiscuous but I may have to re think it!
 
So only free penetrative sex counts? Paid sex does not count. So a wl/punter could have lots of paid punting sex but less than number (7 or 13) for free sex.
 
Was out on the weekend catching up with some of my very best mates and an interesting topic came up. One of them has recently re entered the dating game and the conversation turned to how many previous lovers (penetrative sex we're talking here for free) was too many. And if exceeding a 'reasonable' number would that make men or woman be classified as promiscuous.......and therefore perhaps best to avoid. I did google average number of sexual partners for Australia and it came up as 7 for women and 13 for men. I've definitely had more than 13 so am I now promiscuous? I have dated women who have had more than 7 sexual partners.....and it showed :) What number do you think = promiscuous for both men and/or woman? I have never thought of myself as promiscuous but I may have to re think it!
If a lady can have a thousand guys in 24 hours and sing about it....then for you to be promiscuous, you'd have to have had 10,000,000+ women over your lifetime!
 
Was out on the weekend catching up with some of my very best mates and an interesting topic came up. One of them has recently re entered the dating game and the conversation turned to how many previous lovers (penetrative sex we're talking here for free) was too many. And if exceeding a 'reasonable' number would that make men or woman be classified as promiscuous.......and therefore perhaps best to avoid. I did google average number of sexual partners for Australia and it came up as 7 for women and 13 for men. I've definitely had more than 13 so am I now promiscuous? I have dated women who have had more than 7 sexual partners.....and it showed :) What number do you think = promiscuous for both men and/or woman? I have never thought of myself as promiscuous but I may have to re think it!
It’s an interesting topic the main thing that amazes me mrys is that you reckon you got best mates. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
 
I don't think it's just the numbers that define promiscuity. There has to be a lack of selectivity too. So, if you have standards and stick to them I wouldn't say you're promiscuous. Having said that, if you like gorgeous blondes and only sleep with gorgeous blondes, having slept with 1000 of them might be pushing it:)
 
So only free penetrative sex counts? Paid sex does not count. So a wl/punter could have lots of paid punting sex but less than number (7 or 13) for free sex.
I guess free sex is more likely to involve attraction/connection hence in my head it's more emotionally significant. Paying for sex is transactional and in my head doesn't count as a relationship. Maybe I have double standards to go with my promiscuity :-)
 
I don't think it's just the numbers that define promiscuity. There has to be a lack of selectivity too. So, if you have standards and stick to them I wouldn't say you're promiscuous. Having said that, if you like gorgeous blondes and only sleep with gorgeous blondes, having slept with 1000 of them might be pushing it:)
Wise words. Selectivity or lack of it can lead to some very bad choices. I'm sure we all have a cringeworthy memory. I love blondes, redheads and brunettes equally but I do have standards (thank god) Give me quality over quantity any day!
 
I think judging someone for relationship potential based on body count is deeply silly and reductive.

I have a friend who married a good christian girl who'd saved herself for marriage. After a decade of what seemed like a good marriage and two kids together she decided that she'd never experienced her slut era and decided to go hog wild. She started by cheating on him. Then when she got caught she tried to convince him that they should have an open relationship. When that failed, she divorced him and went on an ayahuasca spirit quest and now runs "shamanistic" retreats in South America and posts on Facebook about having a new boyfriend every 3 months.

On the other hand I also know a former porn star who was huge in the golden era of DVD porn. She's had thousands of dudes blow loads in every one of her holes. After she retired from the industry she married a really nice dude and she's been a supportive, loyal, and loving wife and they've had kids together and seem genuinely in love.

If I was dating people and looking for a serious relationship (thank god I'm not) then I'd ignore how many people they've fucked and instead try and figure out if they've got their head in the game and are looking for the same things I am. I'd hope they would do the same for me because if they were judging me based on body count I would faaaaaaail.
 
I think judging someone for relationship potential based on body count is deeply silly and reductive.

I have a friend who married a good christian girl who'd saved herself for marriage. After a decade of what seemed like a good marriage and two kids together she decided that she'd never experienced her slut era and decided to go hog wild. She started by cheating on him. Then when she got caught she tried to convince him that they should have an open relationship. When that failed, she divorced him and went on an ayahuasca spirit quest and now runs "shamanistic" retreats in South America and posts on Facebook about having a new boyfriend every 3 months.

On the other hand I also know a former porn star who was huge in the golden era of DVD porn. She's had thousands of dudes blow loads in every one of her holes. After she retired from the industry she married a really nice dude and she's been a supportive, loyal, and loving wife and they've had kids together and seem genuinely in love.

If I was dating people and looking for a serious relationship (thank god I'm not) then I'd ignore how many people they've fucked and instead try and figure out if they've got their head in the game and are looking for the same things I am. I'd hope they would do the same for me because if they were judging me based on body count I would faaaaaaail.
Great perspective! Thank you.
 
If you are 30yo or younger:
To screw? No number is unacceptable, they higher the better.
To be in a relationship with? Less than 3 and must have started older than 18.

If you are older than 30yo:
To screw? Take what you can get .
To be in a relationship with? Eliminate all these red flags: daddy issues, more guy friends than girl friends, all her exes were "abusive", divorced where he wasn't cheating, has kids where the dad is still involved, gets drunk on first date, has sex on first-third date, you don't meet any family members in first month, goes to bars.
 
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