The books are all good and well but there are some serious underlying issues that the BDSM community have come across due to newbies reading 50 shades and assuming that the story is what actually happens in real life.
Sure there are D/s couples that fall in love but it is never as fast as the books predict. Also there is a lot more than pretty words and a room full of toys. There needs to be open communication as well as trust and respect for your partner whether you are the Dominant or the submissive.
Not all Dominants are millionaires with shattered pasts. Not all Kinksters are the way they are because of trauma. The majority are just open to the fact that they like what they like and enjoy delving into what is considered unusual, You'll find that amongst the community there is not really unusal. Pretty much every kink is recognised and accepted by the community as there is a lot of respect and very little judgement.
Don't get me wrong the books are a good read but in all honesty i see them as the kinky adult version of twilight:
shy quiet girl, new to town, swept off her feet by a good looking rich male and brought into their world putting themselves at sever risk via association and not seeming to have much wit about her.