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James3006 said:
I wouldn’t bother giving any advice have you ever in your life met a female that listens 😂
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It's true, women are extremely close minded and are controlled by how they feel. The application of logic does not compute.

The trick I've used with ex's is to apply what I'm trying to convey with something that they can relate to. And they get f**king angry when they know I'm right and they have no come back. Here's an example: an ex's brother was being divorced and his wife wanted half of everything, including his super. My ex was furious and was calling her brother's wife a "f**king retard bitch" (I don't disagree coz she cleaned out their their joint accounts before taking off and applying for divorce). So some months later, I asked her if we were married but had to divorce, would we just walk away with what we had before our relationship, and her answer was since we would be married, half of everything was fair. Of course I brought up her brother's ex wife whom she name called and she was furious as f**k but had no come back. It was like headlights in a deer's eyes.

On another note, just found out that one of my mates just got served with court papers by his ex who found out he changed jobs and has higher pay. She wants more child support and maintenance. This is what awaits 50%+ of our young boys. And people blame me for being a cynic.
 
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johnmatilda said:
It's true, women are extremely close minded and are controlled by how they feel. The application of logic does not compute.

The trick I've used with ex's is to apply what I'm trying to convey with something that they can relate to. And they get f**king angry when they know I'm right and they have no come back. Here's an example: an ex's brother was being divorced and his wife wanted half of everything, including his super. My ex was furious and was calling her brother's wife a "f**king retard bitch" (I don't disagree coz she cleaned out their their joint accounts before taking off and applying for divorce). So some months later, I asked her if we were married but had to divorce, would we just walk away with what we had before our relationship, and her answer was since we would be married, half of everything was fair. Of course I brought up her brother's ex wife whom she name called and she was furious as f**k but had no come back. It was like headlights in a deer's eyes.

On another note, just found out that one of my mates just got served with court papers by his ex who found out he changed jobs and has higher pay. She wants more child support and maintenance. This is what awaits 50%+ of our young boys. And people blame me for being a cynic.
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Facts.
 
I refer back to John smithsl question with an expansion - @johnmatilda and @James3006, if you had daughters, what would your advice be to them if they were in toxic marriages with young children and wanted your advice on what would represent a fair financial split?
 
mrys said:
I refer back to John smithsl question with an expansion - @johnmatilda and @James3006, if you had daughters, what would your advice be to them if they were in toxic marriages with young children and wanted your advice on what would represent a fair financial split?
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Toxic marriage has nothing to do with a fair financial split. If a husband is "toxic", does he get to pay more alimony or child support? What if a wife is toxic? Does she get to pay?

As I said, each to walk away with what they brought in. If a toxic employer fired an employee, is the employee entitled to be paid more after the employment has ceased? Or if an employee is toxic, is she/he entitled to less pay after the employment has ceased?
 
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You know I'm kind of tired of reading the news each day where there is undoubtedly a story about toxic masculinity or similar, there's barely any coverage of the thousands of cases where women kill a child or abuse their husbands. It happens and we aren't heard and there's no support for us, we are just expected to suck it up and deal with it which most of us do, even though our abusers are granted half of everything they didn't earn.

Equality? It's a myth.
 
langfordguy82 said:
You know I'm kind of tired of reading the news each day where there is undoubtedly a story about toxic masculinity or similar, there's barely any coverage of the thousands of cases where women kill a child or abuse their husbands. It happens and we aren't heard and there's no support for us, we are just expected to suck it up and deal with it which most of us do, even though our abusers are granted half of everything they didn't earn.

Equality? It's a myth.
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100% agree.

Another thread discusses prostate cancer. More men are diagnosed with this than women with breast cancer yet it doesn't get attention as breast cancer does. Since there are often people who disagree with me on here, here is just one source of many as proof:

www.pcfa.org.au

Prostate cancer overtakes breast cancer as Australia’s most common cancer | PCFA

Prostate cancer is now the most common cancer diagnosed in Australia, overtaking breast cancer as the country’s leading cause of cancer.
www.pcfa.org.au www.pcfa.org.au

The reality is that men are seen as disposable. For anyone else still doubting, when a ship is sinking, who gets to leave first on the life boats? Yep, you guessed it.

Equality is a myth indeed.
 
langfordguy82 said:
there's barely any coverage of the thousands of cases where women kill a child
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What is not mentioned in those news articles is that women kill children just as much as men, though women tend to kill younger children e.g. babies and new-borns. Women are also more likely to be found insane while men are incarcerated.

www.abc.net.au

Why 'rather ordinary' people kill their children

The baby killed in a suspected murder-suicide this week is part of an alarming trend. At least one child is killed by a parent each fortnight, and mothers are increasingly the perpetrators, writes Terry Goldsworthy.
www.abc.net.au www.abc.net.au
 
mrys said:
Are you becoming a little obsessive about this thread John?
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Am I obsessed with:
1. Telling it like it is?
2. Informing young men of consequences of marriage/defacto?
3. Sharing content with men that could potentially help their financial and mental posture?
4. Sharing content with young men on red flags to watch out for?
5. Sharing content with men that would improve their lives?

Abso-f**king-lutely. 1000% yes I am obsessed with that.

But perhaps one of my obsessions is getting you to see the light. You have tried and failed 3 times. I don't wish a 4th for you!

But were any of the content I shared false? Which did you take offense to?
 
Your money is her money and her money is her money. This woman is already making contingency plans after stealing 20K from the husband who earnt the money.

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langfordguy82 said:
Absolutely. Lost 20 years to marriage and this mindset. It's 100% correct. She had me gaslit into thinking I couldn't live without her. Deep down i knew I could but took a long time to realise it for real. Never again.
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1000% - I’m married to a covert narcissist with a multiple personality disorder. It has taken 20 years to realise I’m not the problem after constantly being blamed. It finally clicked when a psych mate broke his silence earlier this year because he was worried about my mental health.

Phrases I’ve had drilled into me over the last 20 years by my abuser:
- Married men live longer
- Married men get more sex
- Married men are happier
- Divorced men become financial cripples.
- Divorced men don’t succeed
- Divorced men become failures
- You need me
- You wouldn’t succeed without me
- All the good choices we’ve made were my decisions
- Men who divorce their wives destroy their children.
- Children from divorced marriages are statistically more likely to not succeed in life.
- I will cut you off from your children and wipe you from their memories, they will no longer have your surname.
- Constantly telling me how amazing she is and how lucky I am to have her
- Constantly telling me how amazing other people say she is.
- “People” say I’m punching above my weight, I’m lucky she let me marry her.
- I won’t find anyone else as amazing as her
- Absolutely no affirmation about my qualities, skills, abilities or achievements.
- If someone compliments me, behind closed doors she gaslights any compliment.
- Publicly she will affirm me and be affectionate, behind closed doors it switches to emotional neglect and gaslighting. (It took my psych mate 10 years to see what happened behind closed doors - one day she forgot he was over…)
 
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KinkySlinky said:
1000% - I’m married to a covert narcissist with a multiple personality disorder. It has taken 20 years to realise I’m not the problem after constantly being blamed. It finally clicked when a psych mate broke his silence earlier this year because he was worried about my mental health.

Phrases I’ve had drilled into me over the last 20 years by my abuser:
- Married men live longer
- Married men get more sex
- Married men are happier
- Divorced men become financial cripples.
- Divorced men don’t succeed
- Divorced men become failures
- You need me
- You wouldn’t succeed without me
- All the good choices we’ve made were my decisions
- Men who divorce their wives destroy their children.
- Children from divorced marriages are statistically more likely to not succeed in life.
- I will cut you off from your children and wipe you from their memories, they will no longer have your surname.
- Constantly telling me how amazing she is and how lucky I am to have her
- Constantly telling me how amazing other people say she is.
- “People” say I’m punching above my weight, I’m lucky she let me marry her.
- I won’t find anyone else as amazing as her
- Absolutely no affirmation about my qualities, skills, abilities or achievements.
- If someone compliments me, behind closed doors she gaslights any compliment.
- Publicly she will affirm me and be affectionate, behind closed doors it switches to emotional neglect and gaslighting. (It took my psych mate 10 years to see what happened behind closed doors - one day she forgot he was over…)
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Thank you for sharing your story. Hope things are 1000% better for you now and you now have peace of mind.
 
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