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Happy Wife Happy Life

mrys said:
I guess we are all just the sum of our learnings from our life experiences. Your relationship experiences have clearly been unfortunate. Maybe you made the wrong choices, I certainly have once, but that hasn't made me bitter. It's just taught me to make better choices with who I share my heart with. There are lovely, sincere women out there who will bring a new dimension to your life, yes some of them are as damaged as you but oh so worthy of being loved and willing/wanting to love someone special. Life is not a dress rehearsal and when you get to the 4th act of a four act play it's those that love you that will make the difference when the curtain starts to close. There is no encore.
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Where’s the bucket I think I’m gonna be sick.
 
FWIW I would never get married again. The deck is stacked against men so badly now that it just isn't worth it. Does it mean I hate women? Absolutely not. But it's just too risky. They can pull the pin take half your stuff and your life is ruined. I think the whole notion of settling down getting married and living the white picket fence life is over. I wish it wasn't, but it is. We have to live in the new reality and adapt. In this new world marriage is an antique.
 
langfordguy82 said:
FWIW I would never get married again. The deck is stacked against men so badly now that it just isn't worth it. Does it mean I hate women? Absolutely not. But it's just too risky. They can pull the pin take half your stuff and your life is ruined. I think the whole notion of settling down getting married and living the white picket fence life is over. I wish it wasn't, but it is. We have to live in the new reality and adapt. In this new world marriage is an antique.
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Facts!

Exactly how I feel.

Exactly how many blokes I know who got screwed now feel (including some who didn't listen to me prior to marriage and now say I was right all along).
 
langfordguy82 said:
FWIW I would never get married again. The deck is stacked against men so badly now that it just isn't worth it. Does it mean I hate women? Absolutely not. But it's just too risky. They can pull the pin take half your stuff and your life is ruined. I think the whole notion of settling down getting married and living the white picket fence life is over. I wish it wasn't, but it is. We have to live in the new reality and adapt. In this new world marriage is an antique.
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Not just married. Defacto has the exact same consequences.
 
John Smithl said:
Are there any members on here that have a pre-nup in place?
I've heard that they're not particularly effective.
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Very true. The mistake most people make is using the same lawyer for both parties, or getting one done up before a wedding where the lovely wife come divorce says that she was under duress to sign else the wedding would have been called off. Naturally, men don't have these luxuries of getting a prenup thrown out.
 
johnmatilda said:
Keen to hear a woman's perspective. What then is the root of all evil
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Oh dear.......John. I have sooooo much I want to say. But I won't. My time typing would be wasted. James3006 is meat with eyes, if he's your wingman god help you. I hope you're better than that.
 
mrys said:
Oh dear.......John. I have sooooo much I want to say. But I won't. My time typing would be wasted. James3006 is meat with eyes, if he's your wingman god help you. I hope you're better than that.
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Anyone like minded is welcome to be a wingman. Batman had Robin, why can't I?

I'm willing to bet James3006 and I are no longer plugged into the matrix.

Nonetheless, I would have been interested in knowing what Tania thought was the root of all evil given she disputed the 3 mentioned ones, since I am a master debater 😉.

Signing off by saying that the world is in this state because of Eve 😂!
 
I didn't realise Marriage, in some cases, is viewed as a 'Contract. There's men out there that look at a wealthy wife as an investor I to their lifestyle and a business they can't afford without her. It's not only men that get used for money and connections.

I don't know the answer is a lawyers office and a pre nup or binding financial agreement - though that certainly would help but might not be fair because of the changes in finances and that men often earn more while women stop to support his career and their families. Children don't stop being kids when they hit 18 and a rich man can leave a struggling Grandmother who has little life skills or time to upskill to learn and earn what they as a family earned.

Maybe the answer lies first in therapy? Counselling to work out true compatibility? A legal agreement regularly updated? Better family laws around seperation?

Children and fair access to them should always matter more than MONEY.
 
Celeste said:
I didn't realise Marriage, in some cases, is viewed as a 'Contract.
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Marriage/defacto is 100% a contract, a contract to make a man pay out endlessly when a marriage or defacto relationship ends, despite the man not deriving any benefit from the terminated relationship.

Celeste said:
There's men out there that look at a wealthy wife as an investor I to their lifestyle and a business they can't afford without her. It's not only men that get used for money and connections.
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These men barely exist, if any. Do you have examples? 99% it's women who benefit, not men.

Celeste said:
can leave a struggling Grandmother who has little life skills or time to upskill to learn and earn what they as a family earned.
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If I'm fired by my company, my salary ends. Why does a marriage/defacto work differently? What if I can't find a job soon, who will look after struggling me? No one. It's MY problem. Even wives bail and file for divorce when the husband can't find a job.

Celeste said:
Maybe the answer lies first in therapy? Counselling to work out true compatibility?
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Solution: don't get married and don't enter into a defacto relationship. Why go to the doctor after putting your head in the lion's mouth?

Celeste said:
A legal agreement regularly updated? Better family laws around seperation?
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Wife will refuse to sign if it doesn't benefit her. Ends up in court. Man gets screwed.

Celeste said:
Children and fair access to them should always matter more than MONEY.
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Yet we have seen children weaponised against men. We have seen mothers flee with the children. I've read several cases of mothers fleeing to Japan taking the kids with them and fathers can't do squat. How many such cases go unreported?
 
johnmatilda said:
Marriage/defacto is 100% a contract, a contract to make a man pay out endlessly when a marriage or defacto relationship ends, despite the man not deriving any benefit from the terminated relationship.


These men barely exist, if any. Do you have examples? 99% it's women who benefit, not men.


If I'm fired by my company, my salary ends. Why does a marriage/defacto work differently? What if I can't find a job soon, who will look after struggling me? No one. It's MY problem. Even wives bail and file for divorce when the husband can't find a job.


Solution: don't get married and don't enter into a defacto relationship. Why go to the doctor after putting your head in the lion's mouth?


Wife will refuse to sign if it doesn't benefit her. Ends up in court. Man gets screwed.


Yet we have seen children weaponised against men. We have seen mothers flee with the children. I've read several cases of mothers fleeing to Japan taking the kids with them and fathers can't do squat. How many such cases go unreported?
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Well said.
 
The 1950s era is well and truly over unfortunately. Once a man could pay off a house from his factory job. While the wife raised the 3 kids at home and could still afford a family holiday. People stayed together and were happy. What’s there today? Nothing except for ATMs on legs why would you wanna marry that. Plus the government sides with women in everything. It’s a lose lose situation for blokes today.
 
James3006 said:
The 1950s era is well and truly over unfortunately. Once a man could pay off a house from his factory job. While the wife raised the 3 kids at home and could still afford a family holiday. People stayed together and were happy. What’s there today? Nothing except for ATMs on legs why would you wanna marry that. Plus the government sides with women in everything. It’s a lose lose situation for blokes today.
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Facts!
 
John Smithl said:
@johnmatilda and @James3006, if you have daughters, what would your advice be to them?
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The same thing I tell men. Don't get married. But not because I think they will get screwed in divorce court like men do, but because I don't want some other bloke to get screwed over. It would be rich of me to tell men not to get married because they would get put through the wringer while encouraging a daughter to get married and potentially put some poor soul through the same wringer that I tell men to avoid.

As daughters are unlikely to listen in any case (they think with their hearts) and still get married, I would tell them to seek a good man, with good morals and a family oriented man but if it came to divorce, I would tell them to walk away with what they brought into the relationship and not to ask for any more. If they bought a house together and the husband paid 70% and daughter 30%, when it is sold, I would say she is only entitled to 30% of the sale price. This is truly a good and fair woman. Women use divorce court to punish men making them bitter and angry resulting in the "men are all shit" comments made by women today. Of course I would also encourage daughters to work and earn in their own right. This way, they can't also say that they don't have an income to survive on their own.
 
johnmatilda said:
The same thing I tell men. Don't get married. But not because I think they will get screwed in divorce court like men do, but because I don't want some other bloke to get screwed over. It would be rich of me to tell men not to get married because they would get put through the wringer while encouraging a daughter to get married and potentially put some poor soul through the same wringer that I tell men to avoid.

As daughters are unlikely to listen in any case (they think with their hearts) and still get married, I would tell them to seek a good man, with good morals and a family oriented man but if it came to divorce, I would tell them to walk away with what they brought into the relationship and not to ask for any more. If they bought a house together and the husband paid 70% and daughter 30%, when it is sold, I would say she is only entitled to 30% of the sale price. This is truly a good and fair woman. Women use divorce court to punish men making them bitter and angry resulting in the "men are all shit" comments made by women today. Of course I would also encourage daughters to work and earn in their own right. This way, they can't also say that they don't have an income to survive on their own.
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And your advice to her on a prenup/binding financial agreement?
 
John Smithl said:
And your advice to her on a prenup/binding financial agreement?
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I'm all for it. It's best for both parties to have an understanding of what will happen come divorce before getting married. The positive is that they don't end up in divorce court with their hands around each other's necks (unless they choose to fight the prenup/BFA) and where the state gets to decide their fate. Far likely to have an amicable split than without a prenup/BFA which is also good for any kids.
 
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