I totally get what you are saying, and I absolutely agree that sex is a give and take situation.
I genuinely enjoy getting women off. However, that can be a protracted act that demands a lot of time and physical energy. And it can be a real challenge if you are with a woman who you don't know well. If I am paying for a service, I don't want to also put in the effort that can be required to get that done
I generally get a good service because I make an effort to be pleasant, respectful, gentle, and undemanding. it's nice to make a genuine connection with someone providing me with a service, whether it's a waiter, a sex worker or a tradesman, even if our relationship is purely transactional.
But I if I am on the clock, I am don't want to spend 40 minutes eating you out before I think about myself. Feels like going to a restaurant and cooking for the staff. I have done service industry work, so I always treat the staff well, but I am at restaurant because I want to be fed without having to put in the time and energy it takes to cook.
If I am paying a sex worker, I make a point of being a good customer. But it's not the same situation as me having a sexual interaction with somebody that is based on mutual attraction and desire and I am not fooling myself into thinking that I am going to rock their world. Particularly as I don't really do full service when I am paying. I prefer erotic massage. Maaaybe a blowjob on rare occasions.
If you are the kind of woman who is likely to get off on me lying down and being still while you take care of me, then you are very easy to please and should consider yourself lucky. But I don't go for massage so I can take care of the masseuse. I pay a masseuse so that I can relax and be pampered.