It's amazing what you can get if you ask for it....or take the initiative anyway.
The closest lady I have to a girlfriend lives in Brisbane these days even though I live in Adelaide.
We've known each other since 1985, but things didn't become sexual until 2012.
She was sexually abused as a child and her relationships have always been with toxic no-hopers. Therefore, she has often had little to no interest in sex.
We had to go in "babysteps", but gradually, we did more and more as we graduated to massage, to oral, to annilinguous...using flirting to cover the nervousness of each new step. Last time we were together, she had her first orgasm in ten years.
Talk about it, ask about it, just do it. But communicate.