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Communication is key

ozwarlock67

ozwarlock67

Legend Member
Points
81
It's amazing what you can get if you ask for it....or take the initiative anyway.
The closest lady I have to a girlfriend lives in Brisbane these days even though I live in Adelaide.
We've known each other since 1985, but things didn't become sexual until 2012.

She was sexually abused as a child and her relationships have always been with toxic no-hopers. Therefore, she has often had little to no interest in sex.

We had to go in "babysteps", but gradually, we did more and more as we graduated to massage, to oral, to annilinguous...using flirting to cover the nervousness of each new step. Last time we were together, she had her first orgasm in ten years.

Talk about it, ask about it, just do it. But communicate.
 
Slugger1

Slugger1

Legend Member
Points
124
ozwarlock67 said:
It's amazing what you can get if you ask for it....or take the initiative anyway.
The closest lady I have to a girlfriend lives in Brisbane these days even though I live in Adelaide.
We've known each other since 1985, but things didn't become sexual until 2012.

She was sexually abused as a child and her relationships have always been with toxic no-hopers. Therefore, she has often had little to no interest in sex.

We had to go in "babysteps", but gradually, we did more and more as we graduated to massage, to oral, to annilinguous...using flirting to cover the nervousness of each new step. Last time we were together, she had her first orgasm in ten years.

Talk about it, ask about it, just do it. But communicate.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately there are a lot of damaged people out there from sexual abuse. Some can overcome it eventually but it certainly takes time.

I am in contact with a girl half my age who I met when overseas and who works in the adult entertainment industry.

While it was more plutonic she sees me as a father figure who she seeks advice from every now and again.

She also was abused by her Father who has since passed away and she has a general distrust of men despite the industry she works in.

Communication is the key to most relationships even non sexual ones.
 
Bailey Blake

Bailey Blake

Bailey Blake
Gold Member
Points
0
100% agree! I am a kink lover and have been pretty much since i started having sexual relationships. When I met my current partner he had knowledge of kink and fetishes but not actively dabbled into it really at all, I pretty much straight up threw him in the deep end with what I was into and how I like it to be in the bedroom :cool:. He picked it up basically instantly and hasn't looked back😂, some things did take longer to learn/aquamate to, not everything stuck for sure. But for the most part, definitely recommend talking openly about sex, even the more obscure things! You might find they're into something you're into that you don't usually share 😍 example being; I REALLY enjoy breath play (like choke me out) and impact to bruise, which are both 'light' choices as far as my usual kink conversations go. 'Heavier' subjects like my pet play kink and personality are something i don't tend to talk about with new partners right away 💕
 
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