Are you happy with the intimacy you share?

No idea what to do

No idea what to do

Legend Member
Points
145
Home Life No
My Favourite Lady Yes
She has everything I want, But still growing up so I need to let her experience and explore life and enjoy as many aspects of intimacy she needs to.

;) The Frenchman😎
 
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eightdates

eightdates

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According to relationships.org.au

Intimacy is about loving trust and support; accepting and sharing in your partner's feelings, being there when they want to let their defences down and knowing that your partner will be there for you. Here are 10 Proven Ways You Can Increase Intimacy by www.psychologytoday.com. I have to admit I didn't know much about this topic at all.
 
John Smithl

John Smithl

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"The Porcupine's Dilemma" by Schopenhauer is a parable about human intimacy, and is one that I can certainly relate to; and further piques my interest in the human condition.

The article...
...asks important questions about human intimacy:
"
  • How much intimacy is too much?
  • What degree of intimacy is necessary for our survival?
  • How can we simultaneously crave and repel intimacy?
  • How do we balance our need for autonomy and our need for connection?
  • How do we hold onto ourselves and our needs, while attending to those of another person?
  • Where is the line between compromise and self-effacement?
  • Where is the line between autonomy and selfishness?
  • Is it inevitable that despite our intention to create a close reciprocal relationship, harm will be incurred?"
 
eightdates

eightdates

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Great questions and I think the answers reveals themselves from time to time in the relationship. The question I have is when and how often should you and your partner discuss/reflect on this before harm begins and who should be the one to initiate the conversation ?
 
Plumage

Plumage

Diamond Member
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1
John Smithl said:
"The Porcupine's Dilemma" by Schopenhauer is a parable about human intimacy, and is one that I can certainly relate to; and further piques my interest in the human condition.
Click to expand...

Yes, but then poor Schopenhauer was a first-rate misery-guts. He claimed that the universe was evil, and that anything good was an illusion. He told everyone to avoid sex completely, live a life of poverty, adopt a starvation diet, and practice self-torture. He didn’t do this himself of course: he had numerous affairs, lived off a private income, dined well in good restaurants, and was as selfish as an oyster without an h. He once threw an old lady down the stairs.

Porcupines are only prickly if they don’t smooth down their quills. The quills are just a metaphor for our insecurities and fears. But there is nothing to fear in a nice cuddle and a nice soft conversation. And plenty of ways to maintain a sense of yourself (= to develop a love for yourself) without pushing others away. Schopenhauer thought we were all ultimately connected and one-and-the-same; but the poor old sausage thought that meant that we were all aspects of universal evil. But if you happen to think that love is good instead, then connection with someone else is a happy victory, not a painful defeat.

Anyway, why would anyone follow any advice from a man called Shop-opening-hours? We all know they are pretty limited.
 
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peartywerty

peartywerty

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Do you think that anybody who regularly visits escorts is happy with the level of intimacy they have with their non-escort experiences?
 
John Smithl

John Smithl

Legend Member
Points
87
Plumage said:
Yes, but then poor Schopenhauer was a first-rate misery-guts. He claimed that the universe was evil, and that anything good was an illusion. He told everyone to avoid sex completely, live a life of poverty, practice a starvation diet, and practice self-torture. He didn’t have the guts to do this himself of course: he had numerous affairs, lived off a private income, dined well in good restaurants, and was as selfish as an oyster without an h. He once threw an old lady down the stairs.

Porcupines are only prickly if they don’t smooth down their quills. The quills are just a metaphor for our insecurities and fears. But there is nothing to fear in a nice cuddle and a nice soft conversation. And plenty of ways to maintain a sense of yourself (= to develop a love for yourself) without pushing others away. Schopenhauer thought we were all ultimately connected and one-and-the-same; but the poor old sausage thought that meant that we were all aspects of universal evil. But if you happen to think that love is good instead, then connection with someone else is a happy victory, not a painful defeat.

Anyway, why would anyone follow any advice from a man called Shop-opening-hours? We all know they are pretty limited.
Click to expand...
Yes, and often our fears and insecurities are subconscious and therefore out of current conscious control to be smoothed down.

To develop a love for oneself is to love and understand the parts we hate about ourselves (which is in our own subconscious); that is, to become compassionate. Unconditional love is beyond good and bad.

Anyway, I guess we're displayng optimism by trying to be intricate via a text conversation... lol
 
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