Addiction- why is it so hard?

[asianguy77]

With the news of Ben Cousins relapsing on his fight with drug addition and now being admitted to a mental hospital, it makes me ponder never having been through the struggle of addiction of any kind, what makes it so hard to overcome an addiction?

For those who have been through and come out on top of an addiction whether it be drugs,sex,gambling etc, is it the physical effects or psychological, which is harder to overcome, and makes people go in relapse? Maybe you could share, how you manage to overcome it as I'm sure there are many out there with the same struggles.

 

[Hornyball]

Sorry but cousins is not a good example, as being spoilt with no mentors or people saying no to him doesnt work. Like elvis, Jackson, if u r allowed to run a muck only have yes men around u and never get any consequences for actions u get this result.

Real addicts need support from family and friends that r tuff but fair by being there when they ask for help. Intervention has worked for people I know but they need to be strong people themselves for help to work, playing to their wishes never works.

Sorry had to say.

 

[Master Yoda]

Think of it like this. We all as humans have some primal needs. Four of which are:

- certainty
- uncertainty
- love/connection
- significance

If we can meet 2 or more of these needs in any kind of habit or behavior. Then that habit or behavior is addictive whether it serves us or not.

 

[Happy2]

One thing that always got me was So many letters in the paper defending Cousins would use the line that his problem hurt no-one else leave him alone
The reason he did not steal or worse in the attempt to get his fix was purely money & fame
A young man with the same addiction without the benefit of Money etc has to get his money through theft or maybe selling his body in unsafe circumstances

But because Cousins can play high level sport and is a lovely bloke he is a subject of sympathy and even righteous indignation from some The leave him alone brigade anyway

 

[Farm Boy]

Your right H2 also family and friends can be silent victims, and look what happens to Chris Mainwaring.

 

[Happy2]

Up this way Hub Chrissés father is still after a enquiry. He has lost a son and cant come to grips with it yet. Never will I guess
Its bad enough losing a child to accidents, illness etc But suicide by drugs must be even harder to take

 

[Chloe Alexis]

it makes me ponder never having been through the struggle of addiction of any kind, what makes it so hard to overcome an addiction?

To explain addiction to someone who has never struggled with it would be like explaining colours to someone who has always been blind.

 

[jaxonjorja]

To explain addiction to someone who has never struggled with it would be like explaining colours to someone who has always been blind.

Well done Chloe, well done!! :notworthy:notworthy
As a recovering addict myself (for well over 25 years), you have absolutely hit the nail on the head!

Sorry but cousins is not a good example, as being spoilt with no mentors or people saying no to him doesnt work. Like elvis, Jackson, if u r allowed to run a muck only have yes men around u and never get any consequences for actions u get this result.

Real addicts need support from family and friends that r tuff but fair by being there when they ask for help. Intervention has worked for people I know but they need to be strong people themselves for help to work, playing to their wishes never works.

Sorry had to say.

Sorry Hornyball, but Cousins is a great example!!
Ben worked just as hard as anyone else in our society to develop & succeed in his chosen career (therefore not spoilt). Although with addiction of any sort, logic does not come into the equation, there is no logical reason why any addict chasing after his / her fix, would choose to have strong positive mentors in his / her life. Once Ben "came out" and chose to fight his disease / addiction, this mindset of having "yes men" around would slowly change. Trust me, and NEVER believe otherwise, Ben (just like me, as a recovering addict), HAS, IS, and WILL suffer the consequences of this stupid life choices for the rest of his days!!
Ben Cousins IS a real addict! He was offered plenty of support from friends, family, and career industry colleagues who were tuff. These people made themselves available to Ben whenever he needed / wanted them. Ben chose to not utilise that help and support! Why? Because he was in bondage to his addiction, and logical though to truly seek help did not exist in his mind.

Don't get me wrong here, Ben Cousins is an idiot who made stupid decisions which nearly killed him, lost respect, lost career, lost $$$ income, lost friends, lost fans...need I go on about his consequences? I do not support or condone what he has done in his off-field life. BUT, he is the same sportsman we all loved and admired 7 or 8 years ago, we just now know that he is a recovering addict.
All addictions are the same, and they are a mental health DISEASE, no different to cancer, diabetes etc. So, leave him alone to recover in peace. Remember him as an awesome elite athlete. Do not let your children idolise him off the football field!!

Sorry for the novel, but for someone who knows first hand the struggles of addiction and its prisoners, I have huge empathy for Ben Cousins and other addicts like him.
Walk a mile in his shoes, and then come back and disagree with me!!:nono:

Think of it like this. We all as humans have some primal needs. Four of which are:

- certainty
- uncertainty
- love/connection
- significance

If we can meet 2 or more of these needs in any kind of habit or behavior. Then that habit or behavior is addictive whether it serves us or not.

Sorry but I disagree Master Yoda.
Primal needs are primal needs, NOT addictions!
Are you addicted to air?
Are you addicted to water?
Are you addicted to light / sunshine?
I'd suggest that you aren't, but these are all primal needs that are met by us all on a daily basis.
An addiction is ANYTHING that we ordinarily do not need in our life (or only in "normal" portions), but which becomes the only thing that is important in our life! So important that you will lie, steal, cheat, deceive etc in order to get your fix.
All four of the primal needs you quoted can become addictions, but in their own right, in normal human quantities, they are simply primal needs.

One thing that always got me was So many letters in the paper defending Cousins would use the line that his problem hurt no-one else leave him alone
The reason he did not steal or worse in the attempt to get his fix was purely money & fame
A young man with the same addiction without the benefit of Money etc has to get his money through theft or maybe selling his body in unsafe circumstances

But because Cousins can play high level sport and is a lovely bloke he is a subject of sympathy and even righteous indignation from some The leave him alone brigade anyway

Happy2, I think you need to do a bit more research into Ben Cousins, and addiction in general than reading letters in the paper. You then might have a more balanced opinion.

 

[Happy2]

Happy2, I think you need to do a bit more research into Ben Cousins, and addiction in general than reading letters in the paper. You then might have a more balanced opinion.

Oh I dont know if thats true JJ I have watched two close family members kill them selves with alcohol

 

[jaxonjorja]

Oh I dont know if thats true JJ I have watched two close family members kill them selves with alcohol

And how would you feel having all the facts (and not so many facts - a lot of made up bull shit) of your family members splashed around in the media for all to read and criticise? As you suggest you may know, recovery from addiction is hard enough without all the other crap being put out there for ignorant readers / listeners to make judgement on.

 

[Happy2]

When a family member is well known drinker you get many comments etc especially in a small community But I guess its different in that drunks are treated more as a joke ,than some other addictions And I may be different but I just developed a thicker skin

 

[Fudd]

To explain addiction to someone who has never struggled with it would be like explaining colours to someone who has always been blind.

......oh, well said Chloe.....a damn good analogy :notworthy

 

[Farm Boy]

I am going try to post a link

 

[jaxonjorja]

Hey happytimes. You keep swapping from saying it is your opinion to saying you are quoting facts. It can't be both. I can't argue with yours or anyone else's opinion, but I can argue against your quoted "facts"

 

[Master Yoda]

Sorry but I disagree Master Yoda.
Primal needs are primal needs, NOT addictions!
Are you addicted to air?
Are you addicted to water?
Are you addicted to light / sunshine?
I'd suggest that you aren't, but these are all primal needs that are met by us all on a daily basis.
An addiction is ANYTHING that we ordinarily do not need in our life (or only in "normal" portions), but which becomes the only thing that is important in our life! So important that you will lie, steal, cheat, deceive etc in order to get your fix.
All four of the primal needs you quoted can become addictions, but in their own right, in normal human quantities, they are simply primal needs.

You are absolutely right. *In the way that I have expressed the four of the six human needs as primal needs it is understandable that the context would involved primal/biological needs like air and water. *Thank you for pointing that out, I love it when I learn something.
*
If I were to express myself more clearly in what I was saying I would not have used `primal needs’. *And instead used `chosen behaviors’ to meet emotional needs.*
*
- * * * * *Certainty
- * * * * *Uncertainty
- * * * * *Love/connection
- * * * * *Significance
*
*
These needs are hard wired *into our nervous systems and seem as though they must met. * And tend to *be met whether the choices we make are deliberate or subconscious. *And whether these choices serve us or not.

Examples.

Certainty. *We may choose to do something that we have always done before. And avoid having new experiences. *This can keep us safe from harm, but can also limit us in*many ways.

Uncertainty. *This is the variety that we all need in life. *And it's obvious that there are many fun and fulfilling ways to go about this as well plenty of*harmful to ourselves and others.

Love/connection. *This human behavioural need is the most primal of all. *We're hard way to desire this from a very deep level. *As humans we enter this world in a helpless and vulnerable state. *Thus if we did not have someone that loved or at least cared for us, we would not have survived.

We meet this need in many good ways like treating others and ourselves right and creating virtue. *Then there are a whole host of other ways to make people seem like they care via self disrespect. *Or connecting with ourselves through u healthy or damaging ways (like drugs).

Significance. * Feeling significant is a huge need for a lot of people. *Most of us are genuinely significant in some way especially among family, friends, and work. *Then some do it through violence just as one example. * *Threats, aggression, and abrasive personalities are among the quickest ways to gain the feeling of significance. *But it's a no brainer that this way is serves noone.

Getting back to the topic of addictions and drugs. *I can't argue with your description of of what an addiction is. *As I agree in the way that when we carry out a behavior such as drugs, booze, excessive eating etc. *we are meeting at least 3 of the 4 behavioral needs like certainty of the feeling,uncertainty of where the influenced actions lead, and connection with ones self or others partaking in the same activity.

Then there are good addictions I guess like running, actively helping others in an organized cause, taking care of someone etc. *certainty, love/connection, and significance etc. * Addictions like that I believe are very empowering.




Thanks again for the opportunity to discuss this. *These ideas are certainly not my work. * But I am fascinated with all aspects of human behavioral science. *And enjoy all views presented here.

*

 

[Demon]

Although talking to you is like banging my head against a wall

:BangHead:

And you do this because you feel so much better when you stop?

:laughing4:laughing4:laughing4

 

[jaxonjorja]

Happytimes if you wanted to make me think then it worked because i still cant figure out either the point you are trying to make or what your opinion actually is. But i do have to thank you for your for being the poster boy of my analogy!!

Love it Chloe. :laughing4
You sound like a real intelligent, fun girl with an awesome sense of humour :love10:

 

[Demon]

Although there are some true addictions, most things referred to as addictions are really habits which have become obsessions, and are psychological not chemical.

Unfortunately loose language has labelled obsessions as addictions.

Obsessions can be hard to treat, but the issue is psychological. Reduce the obsession (or eliminate it) and divert it away from harmful substances.

These people have psychological issues which need to be addressed.

I am not minimising the problem, but taking the focus from the chemical substance (which is why prohibition and all 'wars on drugs have failed').

Prohibition in US 1919 to 1931 - made organised crime a big business.
Heroin etc criminalised about 1914. We sure are winning that one.

The major drug related obsessions/abuses/addictions are:

1. Alcohol
2. Cigarettes
3. Prescription drugs (as prescribed and used - not illegally obtained, or misused)

Illegal drugs come well down the list.

 

[jaxonjorja]

You are absolutely right. *In the way that I have expressed the four of the six human needs as primal needs it is understandable that the context would involved primal/biological needs like air and water. *Thank you for pointing that out, I love it when I learn something...

I don't agree with everything that you have said, BUT it is great so read / hear somebody's opinions when they are well thought out, reasonably researched, and aren't just "one-liners" from people who either have only seen what the media portray about mental health issues in general, or who only look at the resultant surface behaviours of an addict rather than the true underlying struggles & daily fight of an incredibly serious mental illness.ccasion14

 

[Master Yoda]

Although there are some true addictions, most things referred to as addictions are really habits which have become obsessions, and are psychological not chemical.

By far my favourite comment

 

[sexnut]

I am in debt with my addiction and have missed out on many things for my addiction.................................but it is so worth it!!:notworthy:love10::love10::la::la::notworthy:notworthy:la::la::love10:


But I must stop now.....

 

[Naughty Thoughts]

[Off topic]

Just to let people know we (TalkinSex staff) will be tidying up posts a bit more to make the forum easier to read. This includes merging consecutive posts by the same person and removing excess quotations. As a general rule, please say more than you are quoting, or just quote the important bits.

Not picking on anyone, just letting everyone know.

[/Off topic] Please continue your discussion.

 

[Peter]

To explain addiction to someone who has never struggled with it would be like explaining colours to someone who has always been blind.

I agree with this statement Chloe, each addiction has it's own unique problems.

 

[sexnut]

I must leave to starve off my addiction.........ccasion14

My addiction is very expensive, I can not afford it



:tearyeyed:tearyeyed:tearyeyed:tearyeyed