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When the sex is mind-blowing...

M

Miss Holly

A question for the lovely ladies and gentlemen. This is a dilemma of head vs. heart hormones. :oops:

When the sex is mind-blowing but you don't enjoy spending time with that person outside of the bedroom, what do you do? Continue fucking even though you can't stand them, or stop seeing them and spend every day sexually frustrated? :p

(This is written in the context of casual sex, but I'm interested in hearing what people have to say about relationships too.) x
 
Master Yoda

Master Yoda

“Your path you must decide.”
Legend Member
Points
56
I have been guilty of this one too....and it lead to a place where there was hurt for both of us. But more for the girl as it was me that cannot stand her.
 
DDxoxo

DDxoxo

Live, Love & Believe
Legend Member
Points
0
:p
Easy answer...
Keep them as your sex friend -
They only good to call for a good sexually fullfilled time!
(unless they are emotionally connecting with you! then give them the flick!)
​
 
DDxoxo

DDxoxo

Live, Love & Believe
Legend Member
Points
0
Yoda said:
I have been guilty of this one too....and it lead to a place where there was hurt for both of us. But more for the girl as it was me that cannot stand her.
Click to expand...

Yes its the emotions that play havoc on you!!​
 
svengali

svengali

Foundation Member
Points
1
I seriously doubt that "mind-blowing sex' would be possible with someone who you didn't feel at least some affection for. I know that in movies two people will fight like a cat and dog then suddenly tear each others clothes off and hit the sack but not in real life.
 
Master Yoda

Master Yoda

“Your path you must decide.”
Legend Member
Points
56
svengali said:
I seriously doubt that "mind-blowing sex' would be possible with someone who you didn't feel at least some affection for. I know that in movies two people will fight like a cat and dog then suddenly tear each others clothes off and hit the sack but not in real life.
Click to expand...

No I gotta say I beg to differ.....I have had world folding sex with people before I really can't stand.
 
M

Miss Holly

svengali said:
I seriously doubt that "mind-blowing sex' would be possible with someone who you didn't feel at least some affection for. I know that in movies two people will fight like a cat and dog then suddenly tear each others clothes off and hit the sack but not in real life.
Click to expand...

To a certain extent. Perhaps a deeper level of attraction must exist initially (?), though once sweetness and affection falls away, sexual chemistry doesn't necessarily die with it.
 
Castro

Castro

Silver Member
Points
2
DDxoxo said:
:p
Easy answer...
Keep them as your sex friend -
They only good to call for a good sexually fullfilled time!
(unless they are emotionally connecting with you! then give them the flick!)
​
Click to expand...

This is probably the best answer so far.
 
sunyun

sunyun

Legend Member
Points
0
She was 'difficult' to live with, but I married her for the sex.

Then she stopped putting out, and now we are divorced.

I think the relationship should be more important than the sex.

Just my thoughts.

Cheers.
 
W

Wayne Kerr

svengali said:
I seriously doubt that "mind-blowing sex' would be possible with someone who you didn't feel at least some affection for. I know that in movies two people will fight like a cat and dog then suddenly tear each others clothes off and hit the sack but not in real life.
Click to expand...

Even in the sex industry this one is applicable.
 
Zane_1

Zane_1

Gold Member
Points
0
sunyun said:
She was 'difficult' to live with, but I married her for the sex.

Then she stopped putting out, and now we are divorced.

I think the relationship should be more important than the sex.

Just my thoughts.

Cheers.
Click to expand...

Mmm

I was married several years ago for a long time. My wife of the time was never a particularly sexual person and from that perspective we were a really bad match. However I married her because we connected at pretty much every other level.

But its not enough. We divorced and looking back with the benefit of several years now I'd have to say that a very large part of that was sexual frustration from my end - this manifested itself in many and various ways of course.

I reckon couples need pretty much equal amounts of both relationship type stuff (connectedness) and desire to stay the course long term.

But even saying that .. whats long term? People change over time, I certainly have. I'm more sexually driven now, in my forties, than I was in my twenties. Any woman I might have married when I was young probably wouldn't be a good match for me now, unless she also happened to change in the same way I have ....
 
W

Wayne Kerr

Interesting... Not too many people tick all the boxes.

With punting getting all boxes ticked requires more than one woman.
 
Zane_1

Zane_1

Gold Member
Points
0
Vivien@Langtrees said:
Relationships should be a renewable licence. Every year. If its good renew the licence if not move on.
Remember marriage was created when the average man lived to be 28 yrs old.
Click to expand...

I reckon theres a lot of truth to this. It seems a little insane, doesn't it, to be promising to love and hold another 'for life' when you're twenty and probably have a good 60 more years of change and personal growth in front of you.
 
W

Wayne Kerr

Some marriages do last the distance. "Til death do us part" etc... I'm sure it's not all doom and gloom.
 
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TheRoamingEyeball

TheRoamingEyeball

Gold Member
Points
0
svengali said:
I seriously doubt that "mind-blowing sex' would be possible with someone who you didn't feel at least some affection for. I know that in movies two people will fight like a cat and dog then suddenly tear each others clothes off and hit the sack but not in real life.
Click to expand...

"Love and Hate Are Two Sides of the Same Coin" comes to mind, both are a passionate emotion. In Scrubs (lol) there's enjoying angry sex to the point they anger their partner on purpose...Perhaps the passion of disliking someone kicks the emotions into the mind blowing sex category? Another example to be considered (possibly) is ex partners continuing to sleep with each other. There has to be some appeal.
 
polly4bed

polly4bed

Gold Member
Points
0
2 of my male friends put moves on me and the one i liked touching me most became my lover<3
so be friends first and then play later and you can have a great bf! male friends are fun to flirt with anyway especially in summer cos you can were less.
 
Razdor

Razdor

Gold Member
Points
0
sunyun said:
She was 'difficult' to live with, but I married her for the sex.

Then she stopped putting out, and now we are divorced.

I think the relationship should be more important than the sex.

Just my thoughts.

Cheers.
Click to expand...
That's your mistake, you do not marry someone because of sex but because
you both love each other!
 
E

estafarr

Interesting questions and even more interesting answers - I would say that using the sex for as long as it keeps being fantastic and finding other places to tick the other boxes is the best option - sort of wish I had this problem....
 
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