What am I doing Ella?
I'm ironing my shirt getting ready for tomorrow. I'm deciding whether to really bother ironing my shirts or just do the old army technique of putting it under my matress and after a night's sleep it'll be ready and pressed.
I know! I'll go make a cheese, tomato and ham slice toasted sandwich. Shirt's ironed. Chewing on sandwich. Am tossing up whether I should watch dull shit like the arthouse movie on SBS on my computer or the ABC iview rerun of Spooks.
No, I'll stimulate my brain and watch The Front Bar 'cos they're interviewing Cuzzie. Might as well get some real culture in my life than mindless SBS, ABC or National Geographic drivel. Before that I'll just look at my yahoo mail account and see what bills I've got. Payday's today as well, forgot about that. Shit! How could I forget. Yup, I'll pay some bills by BPAY. Fuck, I've got 80 cents to last between now and next payday. Note to self: stop visiting Langtrees.
I know! I'll watch some porn and masturbate. I'm probably the only who does it. Everyone else does it to see if their Viagra's working or not or imagine what their boyfriends could do if they watched porn too.
Hmm, I could get a free flu vax at work. Thing is it's never that cute nurse from the clinic with the white see through dress where I can see her bikini panties or thong. It's always some frumpy, dumpy, grumpy lady with traces of a mo dressed in blue slacks and blue medic's blouse. And too much granny panty line.
No, I'll skip the flu vaccine for this year 'til they change medical providers. Faaark, all the pharmacies these days have women in trousers and white overcoat type things. Where's the pussy? The horniness? What's a man got to do to get root without going to a Waldecks nursery or Bunnings Gardening section. Maybe I should take up Ella Alexia's offer.
What? I've got to pay? She doesn't say that in her posting. She's a lonely person in search of a touring companion. And she needs elite company like mine. . Oh hang on, it's a dream. Not even a wet dream. Not even a dream come true. Not even a dream true cum.
I must be elite company and a class of my own like she is. I've 80 cents to last the next 14 days to pay day. I don't know anyone else like me who's got that kind of money so that makes me elite and unique. A one of a kind. A kind one even. Hmm, it's quarter to 9. I could hop into the car and head down to Woolies and buy a small packet of smoked salmon! Oh hang on, I've only got 80 cents. That's okay, I'll just steal it, the smallest packs can fold and fit into my pocket. I love salmon, reminds me of pussy in the morning. Even when it's smoked.
No better not.
I could re-read Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina but no my eyes are tired from too much reading or screen time from porn. I know... I'll watch reruns of Scrubs on SBS. But before that I'll just go to the Wicked Weasel site and whack off. Hang on, it's 9.30p.m. I'd better get an early night in, tomorrow's a school day!
Yeah, yeah, let the peabrains read this and talk. I've got 80 cents and that makes me special. I'll come and watch her some other time.
In my dreams.