Depression vs Feeling Bad or Having an off Day?

[Dez]

For the people who have had depression or are learning to cope with depression, how do you separate the feelings from having an off day with the feelings that you associate with Depression?

At what point do you realise there might be the chance you're having a relapse or do you continue on and dismiss those feelings?

 

[johnlou]

Tania it is not easy to differentiate the 2 , but what i do is go back to what you know of yourself ( around 10 to 20 years ) and then make a call then and go with the flow

 

[Ranjeeh]

Depression is when that one off day becomes a sequence of off-days. At that point some early intervention counselling will be most beneficial. I stress from experience, that the standard doctor response of prescribing anti-depressants is not the way to go. Planning something like a holiday or a significant purchase can give a person something to look forward to, which in turn takes the mind from depressive thoughts.

However, as I write above early intervention is essential.

 

[Dez]

I've been trying to look forward to plans, makes plans and stick to them.

I've been very triggered lately with trying to control the thoughts which lead me down a self harm spiral... and the only thing that stopped me this morning was a consultation appointment I had made with a surgeon on Monday.

I cancelled that appointment this afternoon. I cancelled several important events and appointments for the next few weeks. I just don't see the point anymore...

I feel very lost... and truthfully a little scared.

 

[XLNC]

... I cancelled several important events and appointments for the next few weeks. I just don't see the point anymore...

I feel very lost... and truthfully a little scared.

Tania, if you are feeling like that, this is not the time to be alone and cutting yourself off from human contact. Please talk to someone about this. Now.

 

[Happy2]

Tania! XLNC is right if you are feeling this way you need to talk to a person you trust or a professional
You cant just muddle through these things
Please get some help

 

[Ranjeeh]

I feel very lost... and truthfully a little scared.

Withdrawal from social events and other contact is another symptom of depression. I'm over a bout, but I still cannot face many social and even business events.
It is a wicked spiral that depression draws people into, but often there are people nearby that care and can help. Chat with an old friend or two, be open and share the pain. As I said before, you should seek professional help as well.

 

[Sherry]

Agree with all the good advise above-you don't need to feel like that as there is much help available-plus all of us here if you need to talk-most important you don't need to suffer in silence as there are people that care and want to help

 

[Dallas]

For the people who have had depression or are learning to cope with depression, how do you separate the feelings from having an off day with the feelings that you associate with Depression?

At what point do you realise there might be the chance you're having a relapse or do you continue on and dismiss those feelings?

For me the two are quite distinctive, normal depression feels like it does for anyone who's having a bad day but depression the illness is like a black cloud hanging over you and sucking the life out of you. It's usually accompanied by illogical phobias, paranoia and anxiety and over sensitivity to criticism, mostly for me it's social anxiety and claustrophobia which is something I normally don't get at all so sometimes the ride in the elevator at work can be hell if it stops at all floors! Then the final symptom is that you keep having thoughts of dying and feeling like being dead is the solution. The worst part is that you can't explain it to anyone. Even some health professionals don't really understand.

It sounds like you're going through this Tania and I can totally relate to how you feel. I'm not a health professional but the only thing that's helped me has been exercise and or distractions such as like you said, going to an appointment etc. Still, I would recommend seeing a health professional if you don't have any strategies that help, and good luck, you can always come and talk to us here if you want, or message me if you want to talk, although I find I usually don't want to talk to anyone when I'm feeling like this.

 

[Lacie4U]

I've been trying to look forward to plans, makes plans and stick to them.

I've been very triggered lately with trying to control the thoughts which lead me down a self harm spiral... and the only thing that stopped me this morning was a consultation appointment I had made with a surgeon on Monday.

I cancelled that appointment this afternoon. I cancelled several important events and appointments for the next few weeks. I just don't see the point anymore...

I feel very lost... and truthfully a little scared.

Dear Tania...

You are very brave . I think it is important to express your throughs and fears. My concern is whilst here on line is a good place I believe it is absolutely imperative you seek help in a "physical" sense. Please go you your councillors/doctor who ever you trust . You should NOT be alone .

 

[Mrs Langtrees]

I have just seen this and will organise Ms Sue to see Tania personally tomorrow and make the appointments she needs.

 

[Happy2]

That's very proactive Mary Anne

 

[Wilde Amanda]

sometimes christmas can be depressing but dont let it bring you down spread that christmas cheer ho ho ho

 

[Ranjeeh]

Christmas is statistically a very bad time for depression, so keep an eye on your friends. BTW, isn't it considered impolite to say 'ho' these days?

 

[zombie]

For me the two are quite distinctive, normal depression feels like it does for anyone who's having a bad day but depression the illness is like a black cloud hanging over you and sucking the life out of you. It's usually accompanied by illogical phobias, paranoia and anxiety and over sensitivity to criticism, mostly for me it's social anxiety and claustrophobia which is something I normally don't get at all so sometimes the ride in the elevator at work can be hell if it stops at all floors! Then the final symptom is that you keep having thoughts of dying and feeling like being dead is the solution. The worst part is that you can't explain it to anyone. Even some health professionals don't really understand.

It sounds like you're going through this Tania and I can totally relate to how you feel. I'm not a health professional but the only thing that's helped me has been exercise and or distractions such as like you said, going to an appointment etc. Still, I would recommend seeing a health professional if you don't have any strategies that help, and good luck, you can always come and talk to us here if you want, or message me if you want to talk, although I find I usually don't want to talk to anyone when I'm feeling like this.

this is so accurate

though for me it's super difficult to do the things that I know will make me feel better, as even though I know they'll work, the depression tells me they won't and I slump back and listen to the depression instead of myself, so in the mean time I self medicate with alcohol, which provides temporary relief and sometimes lets me get to doing the weights that I know will provide longer lasting relief

 

[vader]

To anyone suffering from depression please reach out to someone.

 

[Happy2]

This is so true Vader
You must trust your friends This is where yourh handful of real friends prove there worth over your 100s of Facebook friends

 

[Dallas]

The hard part of depression is actually talking to anyone because, our society has educated us to stay around happy and positive people.

We're told, an hour of your life is wasted around a negative person, so spend every moment with positive people that are uplifting and make you feel happier.

But then everyone says, why don't people with depression talk? Because as soon as you try to, most people try to distance themselves from people who they perceive as negative. You feel impolite talking about your depressive feelings and they often try and change the subject and you can't blame them and for most people, just a subtle hint that they're uncomfortable and you close up.

Then some well meaning but unskilled people try and fix your problem with cliche's because they don't understand the difference between depression the illness and depression as in oh i'm sad because my dog died etc. They say things like, "pull yourself together', "man up", "get a grip", "everyone gets depressed", "there are people worse off than you", or just make light of your issue as in naa your over reacting, our family isn't like this, your brother is tough, what's wrong with you? now get back to work .. etc, this has the effect of ensuring that they person never talks about it again.

So then the person suicides and everyone says omg why didn't they reach out, why didn't they talk to us all? and they often tried. Society just isn't geared towards helping depressed people. Reminds me of a suicide letter that a guy wrote before he walked across the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. He said, if one person coming the other way smiles at me, I won't jump.

 

[zombie]

This is so true Vader
You must trust your friends This is where yourh handful of real friends prove there worth over your 100s of Facebook friends

it's also where you find out that you've never had any "real" friends

 

[Happy2]

it's also where you find out that you've never had any "real" friends

Zombie I I can say I have had a C*** of a year And I have found my small circle of friends was/is God Sent and 2 have been people I have had the joy of meeting on this site

 

[Langtrees VIP Darwin]

The hard part of depression is actually talking to anyone because, our society has educated us to stay around happy and positive people.

We're told, an hour of your life is wasted around a negative person, so spend every moment with positive people that are uplifting and make you feel happier.

But then everyone says, why don't people with depression talk? Because as soon as you try to, most people try to distance themselves from people who they perceive as negative. You feel impolite talking about your depressive feelings and they often try and change the subject and you can't blame them and for most people, just a subtle hint that they're uncomfortable and you close up.

Then some well meaning but unskilled people try and fix your problem with cliche's because they don't understand the difference between depression the illness and depression as in oh i'm sad because my dog died etc. They say things like, "pull yourself together', "man up", "get a grip", "everyone gets depressed", "there are people worse off than you", or just make light of your issue as in naa your over reacting, our family isn't like this, your brother is tough, what's wrong with you? now get back to work .. etc, this has the effect of ensuring that they person never talks about it again.

So then the person suicides and everyone says omg why didn't they reach out, why didn't they talk to us all? and they often tried. Society just isn't geared towards helping depressed people. Reminds me of a suicide letter that a guy wrote before he walked across the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. He said, if one person coming the other way smiles at me, I won't jump.

I luv this Dallas. Well said x

 

[vader]

Is possible for the Forum to list organisations that could help anyone suffering from depression i.e. Beyond Blue etc?

 

[Happy2]

Beyondblue are brilliant
You may have to wait but not to long And you will get through to speak to a person who can help

 

[Lacie4U]

The hard part of depression is actually talking to anyone because, our society has educated us to stay around happy and positive people.

We're told, an hour of your life is wasted around a negative person, so spend every moment with positive people that are uplifting and make you feel happier.

But then everyone says, why don't people with depression talk? Because as soon as you try to, most people try to distance themselves from people who they perceive as negative. You feel impolite talking about your depressive feelings and they often try and change the subject and you can't blame them and for most people, just a subtle hint that they're uncomfortable and you close up.

Then some well meaning but unskilled people try and fix your problem with cliche's because they don't understand the difference between depression the illness and depression as in oh i'm sad because my dog died etc. They say things like, "pull yourself together', "man up", "get a grip", "everyone gets depressed", "there are people worse off than you", or just make light of your issue as in naa your over reacting, our family isn't like this, your brother is tough, what's wrong with you? now get back to work .. etc, this has the effect of ensuring that they person never talks about it again.

So then the person suicides and everyone says omg why didn't they reach out, why didn't they talk to us all? and they often tried. Society just isn't geared towards helping depressed people. Reminds me of a suicide letter that a guy wrote before he walked across the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. He said, if one person coming the other way smiles at me, I won't jump.

so sad and yet so true....there have been moments in my life where a "spoken word or smile and enquiry" as to how I am that have "literally" changed the direction of my life...

 

[Lacie4U]

To anyone suffering from depression please reach out to someone.

I agree with you Vader...but it is still a very real problem of people suffering in silence due to the "stigma" that appears to be associated with mental illness. There is good news though ...slowly there is much more understanding and compassion towards this suffering . There is also more health promotion on living a "healthy life style" that incorporates mental as well as physical health.

 

[ProfD]

Dez,
depression for me was about suppressing emotions, so every day felt flat, very few high or low points, just gray and drab. Even hobbies, sports and friends felt un-lifting. I didn't know the signs of depression, but my former wife did - she suggested I get myself off to the Dr for some pills. Much of my depression stems from overwhelm - too much to juggle, not enough support and understanding. I identify as ADHD and too much stimulation and distraction and I'm a mess. I tried various therapists with varying success. When we found one who said we both had to slow down and reduce our loads, my then wife refused to go back. I was just glad someone understood!

I'll write a story about how I worked my way out of it without medication.... it includes Salon Kittys, Divorce, Expressive Therapies, redemption and learning. Needless to say, I'm still leaning, but now feel that I'm rarely depressed, and never for long, and I know what to do to lift myself out of it.




Good luck!


solution thread -- www.talkinsex.com/threads/bdsm-for-depression.51892/#post-426393

 

[EuropianBliss]

Well my life sucks ATM. Just one obstacle after the next but;

Even though Im homeless, cried myself to sleep on many occasions and contemplated suicide more than a few times, Im actually quite happy. Ive stayed true to myself and my trustining nature still remains. Ide never resort to steslining or swindling people for money although Im desperately in need. Life isnt easy being a 46 yo whore, but life is lookibg up. I have peole who love me and I realize how much they mean to me and how devestatining it would be to lose them.

Its a long road ahead but it will get easier and Ill be a much strongser person for it.

Please note I've used the word who're in a derogatory way for personal reasons. I love what I do and am not ashamed in any way.

I don't claim any benefits. Myy sole income is from what I do.

 

[EuropianBliss]

Well I didnt get the house I wanted. And gawd it was soooo me. Heritage building thayt needed plenty of care and attention.
Needlessly I picked up straight away what had been happening within those walls.

What surprised me was how significant this place was.

The print below kindly given to me by the realestate agent characterises the events and machinations of a society that shrouds itself in secrecy.

Lets play a game.
What do you see and whats your interpretation.

 

[XLNC]

I see two olde worlde lesbians about to get it on. (The pussy licking on the rug in the bottom right gives it away.)

 

[Happy2]

All I see is a dude with a bad back and bad dress sense green indeed brown indeed