What if the wife won't swing

[Teddy01]

Hi all,
I'm sure I'm not the only one to encounter this situation.
We are in a very happy and secure relationship however I have always wanted my wife to enjoy another guy while I was present.
Unfortunately for me she is not keen on the idea and going to a swingers club is out.
Are there any clubs or pubs where a couple such as us can mingle with others who may be interested but do not want to go to a swingers club/party.
If you are in the same boat, why not write and we may be able to arrange an informal get together.

Ted

 

[iidd7]

with swing - comes std of not really careful. have a long think about it.

 

[TemptMe]

We are in a very happy and secure relationship however I have always wanted my wife to enjoy another guy while I was present.
Unfortunately for me she is not keen on the idea and going to a swingers club is out.

Well I would say to push it is asking for trouble in the happy secure relationship. If she knows that you are interested in the idea and you have both discussed it, give her time to think about it but respect her decision what ever it is - just watching others or foreplay only etc etc. It is a huge step and not one that should be taken lightly.:3some:

 

[svengali]

Short answer - If you have a good and secure relationship you are a long way ahead of a lot of people so if it ain't broke - don't fix it.

If you both want to be a bit more adventurous start out slowly, try introducing porn as a "third party" then move on from that. Just remember that in trying to "improve" your sex life you are risking your relationship so weigh the possible benefits and potential losses up carefully.

 

[stormline]

Hi Teddy01, You say you are in a good stable relationship, So it's pretty obvious your wife is very content with just having sex with you.
You should be very happy about that as its a compliment to you. As you say it's your fantasy to see your wife with another guy.

Tread very carefully along the lines you take as you could actually turn something that is very good for you at the moment into something you may never dream of happening.

As you have already sugested this to your wife and she is'nt really particualy interested,Try as SVEN said with a few porn movies which include 3somes and 4somes ect.

If your wife does get interested maybe try a 3some first and see how it pans out. What if you did this and the guy your wife was fucking turned your wife on more than you ever have. How are you going to feel about that???

So it may be best left as a fantasy unless you are positive you are not a jelous type of guy. Also do you only want to watch or join in with another guy?
A women can have some of the best sex going with two guys together,but she has to want that.

If your thinking of another couple your wife might not want to see you with another women. It can be a very dangerous game to play, as you have said you have a great relationship but you's have not been down that road.

Personally if you get your wife to come around i hope it all works out well, but i would give it alot of thought before you keep pushing the point to her..

I have personally been in a 3some where the guy wanted me to join them for some hot sex. Later after a week or so he wished he had not done this as she wanted to do it more and more often with me, get the point.
So that actually ended his relationship with her, yes it's probably a pretty rare situation but trust me it does and can happen.

On the other hand i have been in quiet a few 3somes and 4somes where everybody had a great time, as i said i believe a women can have the best sex with two guys together, only if thats what she wants and knows there will be no problems after the nite, so take a little advice from the people above before you push someone away who seems very much in love with you. Only my thoughts, and i'm certainly not bragging or anything like that. Good luck either way you venture.;D

 

[Teddie01]

Sorry about the slight name change, it is due to an email address problem.

Having said that, thanks to everybody for all your helpful advice on this matter.

At the end of the day, my wife will be the one who decides because if she's not on for it then it won't happen.

 

[princesssuzie]

Hi Ted

There are really either private meets, private parties for swingers and newbies or swingers clubs. All of these options are not as scary as you might think.

All of the private parties and swingers clubs that I attend are well organised and there's no pushiness of any kind. You and your wife can walk around freely, join in with others conversation, be on your own or whatever you like.

Neither of you are ever going to know if this is your sort of thing unless you go somewhere and see if you like what's going on.

There's no pressure to perform or join in, it's just like going to a party with friends. If you're not happy there you can leave in your own time.

Many new couples that attend get so turned on by the situations happening around them, it's like watching a live orgy, then they go in a room or go home and have great sex.

Of course it's something for you both to think about, but come and have a look one day, the worst that can happen is that you'll see some naked bodies and that can't be half bad.....lol

Suzie

 

[swingingstories]

Hi Ted,

Only a short response here, first off, if your desire is genuinely to see your wife with another man, but she isn't interested, then you'll just have to shelve that desire. We often want/desire things in life that aren't possible. I'd love to own a fully restored 67 Shelby, but it ain't gonna happen.

However, if what you are really hoping for is to spice things up by introducing a new element of play (for both of you) then only you will know how open your wife is to the general idea. If you are truly "very happy and secure" then be careful about rocking the boat.

This topic was actually discussed in depth in another thread and I'll attach the link for you. Good luck and let us know how you go.

Link is broken,so has been taken down


Love
swingingstories

 

[Bluegrass9]

I have been without my wife to one swinging party. One couple who attended had problems and after one hour he left and she stayed and had a great time. Yes I was lucky to enjoy her as well.
:walk:

 

[Teddie01]

Once again, a big thank you to all who gave their time replying to my post.

It would be interesting to find out from ladies who are now dedicated swingers, what was their initial reaction to a husbands/boyfriends request try swinging.

 

[Teddie01]

Hello again to everybody, thought the forum was a gonner, really missed the chat and posts.

 

[happytimes]

Hi Ted Just a quick reply as most of it has been said.
If your wife is saying no that to me would mean your wife loves you very much and doesn't want to share you with another woman and she is content to just be with you.

If you are feeling the need to swing you need to try and do it at a slow pace.
Though i feel your wife would still say no.There are plenty of other ways to spice up your sex life if you are feeling a little bored.

Pushing your wife might just push her further than you ever dreamed of, so keep that in mind..

 

[ripped10r]

If your wife is not into that i wouldn't push that would spell the end