Ugly partner how you deal with it?

[Bigdy]

Hi there.

Not long ago, I met a couple in our kids play group. The man an average looking airline pilot, and the woman a solid >150Kg, both in the shy side but in general agreeable enough to be arround in social settings.

Thing is... you could tell the man was struggling to take his eyes off another very fit brasilian mom in the same group. Every other dad in there was obviously attracted to her. In the mean time the large lady was chocking herself on chocolate cake.I could not help but to think...

How can you cope with a obviously not attractive partner at all?. For me, just imagining a 150kg nude body (regardless sex) is already borderline disgusting.
How can you manage to stay years with a person like that? Like seriously... is it a sense of duty?. He may have no issue paying a divorce and finding another more fit partner... why you stay?

The thing that annoyed me the most is that this girl tops up her 3y/o kid with chips and candies as to make him look exactly than her and has the nerve to say to otger mom's... oh.. is genetic FFS!

Pd. I know I will be ruffling some feathers with this post. But for me, my body is my temple and I keep myself as lean,strong and as combat ready as a 40y/o can manage to be. (Kids and 60h work week included). As the pass of time is inexorable I want to be ready when the wife reaches a point where I don't feel sexual attraction to her any longer.

 

[Channelle]

Well you immediately got me ruffled and curious as to why your heading used the word 'ugly'.

 

[Bigdy]

Definition of ugly (Entry 1 of 2)
1a: offensive to the sight
b: offensive or unpleasant to any sense
2: morally offensive or objectionable
corruption.

Both applicable specially in relation to the child... before going to any aesthetically oriented conversation morbid obesity may be common... that does not make it ok.

 

[Channelle]

From my 'much larger person, and family and friends all who've a heart of gold' perspective, I remain ruffled.
We all have differing views I guess, especially when we dissect definitions.
For me, I like this one, but as I say, the beauty of the world is that we are all different.

misconception
noun

a view or opinion that is incorrect because based on faulty thinking or understanding.

 

[Master Yoda]

I see the light hearted side of this thread and I am LMAO

 

[Channelle]

I see the light hearted side of this thread and I am LMAO

There in part of the issue - nowhere near funny to some ☹,
hilarious to others.

 

[Slugger1]

As the old proverb goes "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and beauty does not guarantee happiness!

 

[asianguy77]

Maybe she is a good wife and mother. Maybe he sees escorts to cover his other needs. Who knows.

 

[Albany]

Hi there.

Not long ago, I met a couple in our kids play group. The man an average looking airline pilot, and the woman a solid >150Kg, both in the shy side but in general agreeable enough to be arround in social settings.

Thing is... you could tell the man was struggling to take his eyes off another very fit brasilian mom in the same group. Every other dad in there was obviously attracted to her. In the mean time the large lady was chocking herself on chocolate cake.I could not help but to think...

How can you cope with a obviously not attractive partner at all?. For me, just imagining a 150kg nude body (regardless sex) is already borderline disgusting.
How can you manage to stay years with a person like that? Like seriously... is it a sense of duty?. He may have no issue paying a divorce and finding another more fit partner... why you stay?

The thing that annoyed me the most is that this girl tops up her 3y/o kid with chips and candies as to make him look exactly than her and has the nerve to say to otger mom's... oh.. is genetic FFS!

Pd. I know I will be ruffling some feathers with this post. But for me, my body is my temple and I keep myself as lean,strong and as combat ready as a 40y/o can manage to be. (Kids and 60h work week included). As the pass of time is inexor
Iable I want to be ready when the wife reaches a point where I don't feel sexual attraction to her any longer.

I'm with you. Met the most beautifully attractive face of a lady. Long story short, she had a tummy like a beached whale.
Did the deed, as didn't want to appear rude, but couldn't go back again. I need physical looks to be attractive to me.
I always remember my man saying to me, "there is a lid for every pot."

 

[Brenda Driver VIP Perth]

How judgemental of you. You should be ashamed. You don't know what is going on in her life. Probably put the weight on with her pregnancy and who got her pregnant, that airline pilot with the wandering eyes. The lady needs friends, I hope she goes to another play group. You don't deserve her.

 

[Brenda Driver VIP Perth]

This post just reminded me that I watched the movie "Shallow Hal" again the other day.

 

[AlwaysUp]

Wow!!! Judgements are a plenty!

If I see an attractive girl, my eyes would naturally wonder towards her. My brain would start undressing her. My little man is thinking about little man junior. I know I know. Bite me.

 

[Bonnie Lee]

I think majority of eyes's start to wonder but that also means nothing - we could simply be admiring a strong / stunning feature on someone, but having an emotional connection / bond - which has nothing to do with looks, can be much stronger than appearances.

 

[Obbie]

Wow!!! Judgements are a plenty!

If I see an attractive girl, my eyes would naturally wonder towards her. My brain would start undressing her. My little man is thinking about little man junior. I know I know. Bite me.

a bit like this

 

[No idea what to do]

Not long ago, I met a couple in our kids play group. The man an average looking airline pilot, and the woman a solid >150Kg,

Well Well Well
Just for a change The Frenchman have a couple of things to say.
I'm a fat Frenchman with a big mouth and I know it.

I love food and eat a shitload of it and yes I shit allot

BIGDY
You need to mind your own business, They are what they are and we all have alternative ways of attraction to women.
You have no Idea of the past present or future of this couple.
Have a good look at yourself, your probably a Danny DeVito look alike


My suggestion can only be, if you have an opinion keep it to yourself, especially when it comes to the judgement of other relationships.

The Frenchman is a lover of all women except the bitches that I have divorced.
But I ave my own preferences of attraction ​

 

[mountainbikingateve]

I remember as a young fella, 12 or 13, when new neighbours moved in across the road. He was a rugged guy, drove cool excavators (he owned a civils company), drove a Porsche on the weekends. She was an amazing lady but huge. 2 young kids. One time I meet her sister - she was stunning. She showed me a photo of her and her sister, the wife, before she had put on the weight. The wife was even more beautiful. She told me her sister had got very sick after having her first child and part of that was she ate too much.
You would never meet a more amazing, intelligent and caring woman. Years later she lost the weight and Wally still loves her regardless. They have now retired to Dunsborough.
The hot sister, unfortunately, her hubby craved the Porsche lifestyle and couldn’t afford it (drank too much I remember even back then). They split a while ago.
I’m sure there is a moral to this story.

 

[Channelle]

How judgemental of you. You should be ashamed. You don't know what is going on in her life. Probably put the weight on with her pregnancy and who got her pregnant, that airline pilot with the wandering eyes. The lady needs friends, I hope she goes to another play group. You don't deserve her.

Thank you.

 

[rickman]

No one wants to be overweight, sick or unhealthy. No One!

However shaming is more likely to send them straight to their vices, if you wanna help someone you have to inspire them, lead by example. Show them that change is possible.

 

[Bigdy]

I remember as a young fella, 12 or 13, when new neighbours moved in across the road. He was a rugged guy, drove cool excavators (he owned a civils company), drove a Porsche on the weekends. She was an amazing lady but huge. 2 young kids. One time I meet her sister - she was stunning. She showed me a photo of her and her sister, the wife, before she had put on the weight. The wife was even more beautiful. She told me her sister had got very sick after having her first child and part of that was she ate too much.
You would never meet a more amazing, intelligent and caring woman. Years later she lost the weight and Wally still loves her regardless. They have now retired to Dunsborough.
The hot sister, unfortunately, her hubby craved the Porsche lifestyle and couldn’t afford it (drank too much I remember even back then). They split a while ago.
I’m sure there is a moral to this story.

Best answer so far

 

[Bigdy]

Thank you.

Nope she has been huge since teenager. And as I said before she is a very nice person to be arround with a very remarkable story of struggle to have her son.

You all are missing the point of my question. I am not attacking her for being fat and may strongly disagree with her rounding up his son either... up to them. What I am interested is on what kind of mental dynamics you put to keep sex in a relationship where one of the partners is not attractive at all.

 

[No idea what to do]

Back Peddle Champ

Hi there.

Not long ago, I met a couple in our kids play group. The man an average looking airline pilot, and the woman a solid >150Kg, both in the shy side but in general agreeable enough to be around in social settings.

Thing is... you could tell the man was struggling to take his eyes off another very fit brasilian mom in the same group. Every other dad in there was obviously attracted to her. In the mean time the large lady was chocking herself on chocolate cake. I could not help but to think...

How is this not attacking the lady​

How can you cope with a obviously not attractive partner at all?. For me, just imagining a 150kg nude body (regardless sex) is already borderline disgusting.

How is this not attacking the lady
I am not attacking her for being fat ​

How can you manage to stay years with a person like that? Like seriously... is it a sense of duty?. He may have no issue paying a divorce and finding another more fit partner... why you stay?

The thing that annoyed me the most is that this girl tops up her 3y/o kid with chips and candies as to make him look exactly than her and has the nerve to say to otger mom's... oh.. is genetic FFS!

Pd. I know I will be ruffling some feathers with this post. But for me, my body is my temple and I keep myself as lean,strong

is this you or maybe related?​

and as combat ready as a 40y/o can manage to be. (Kids and 60h work week included). As the pass of time is inexorable I want to be ready when the wife reaches a point where I don't feel sexual attraction to her any longer.

 

[No idea what to do]

Yes
The Frenchman has an opinion yet again

Dude
and you won the sperm race , just missed out on a few things as you grew up Example MANNERS

 

[Channelle]

You all are missing the point of my question. I am not attacking her for being fat and may strongly disagree with her rounding up his son either... up to them. What I am interested is on what kind of mental dynamics you put to keep sex in a relationship where one of the partners is not attractive at all.

And you are missing the point of my first response.
I disagree with using the word 'ugly' purely because her size and actions is not how you like to see someone.
And the mental dynamics - where one of the partners is not attractive?
Really - not attractive to you I guess.
The mental dynamics - how about they love one another to bits and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

 

[JLX]

I'll ask my partner and will get back to you

 

[Deleted member 49173]

I remember as a young fella, 12 or 13, when new neighbours moved in across the road. He was a rugged guy, drove cool excavators (he owned a civils company), drove a Porsche on the weekends. She was an amazing lady but huge. 2 young kids. One time I meet her sister - she was stunning. She showed me a photo of her and her sister, the wife, before she had put on the weight. The wife was even more beautiful. She told me her sister had got very sick after having her first child and part of that was she ate too much.
You would never meet a more amazing, intelligent and caring woman. Years later she lost the weight and Wally still loves her regardless. They have now retired to Dunsborough.
The hot sister, unfortunately, her hubby craved the Porsche lifestyle and couldn’t afford it (drank too much I remember even back then). They split a while ago.
I’m sure there is a moral to this story.

I trust you're providing the said Hot Sister with the 'support' she must be needing now she's alone ..

 

[mountainbikingateve]

I trust you're providing the said Hot Sister with the 'support' she must be needing now she's alone ..

That was absolutely the teenage me fantasy. She was my Mrs Robinson for sure.

 

[stovo82]

Me ugly too short only 5'10" height and weigh around 75kg. If only I was 6'4" and looked like Thor.

 

[Bigdy]

Me ugly too short only 5'10" height and weigh around 75kg. If only I was 6'4" and looked like Thor.

Hahahhaha. 6.4 75kg you would be too skinny. 6.4 you need at least 98kg lean to look like thor. At least you are not pretending you aren't ugly!.

For a prostitution forum people here is too politically correct!

 

[No idea what to do]

For a prostitution forum people here is too politically correct!

Most people are required to be politically correct because the younger generations just can't handle it.​

It is the way of the world these day's champ, If you are offensive (and you where) people get the hackles up and growl like dog's.

Years ago it was OK to tell somebody to fuck off or fit in, Or make a lewd comment in passing.

Try that these days and the HR department goes straight up your arse like a rat up a drain pipe.​

 

[Bigdy]

Been thinking on what Rickman said above and yes, that is a very interesting nuisance that exist for almost every human problem. That is... to what degree you own it.

It's your body, your own it and:

1. You have tyroidal, autoimmune, blood cloths, real genetic metabolic issues or mobility issues. Then you are well outside of any willpower reach on the weight issue. All compassion and consideration to you.

2. You are relatively healthy and between 20kg of your target weight. It may not be overnight, but you still have plenty of room to deal with it. Better get that calories down and the cardio going...

3. You were in 2, did not own, it and now you got any of the conditions of number 1 and getting into the morbid obbese threshold. Now your path is Way more uphill and will likely need additional support to control your health if you want. You may never get back to health without divine intervention

4. You are +50kg you are in step 3 and Don't give a shit, keep on balloning, and on top of that you think the rest of the world need to put up with you. You just not only own it... you probably are working hard for that misconstructed cardiac arrest that everyone who cared for you brought up when you were in step 2. Offended? Go and eat some donuts!.