Mia/Mimi on Newcastle St - Guaranteed to eliminate fatigue?

[derfderfderfderf]

Thanks to having too many browser tabs open, I accidentally texted the wrong number from Locanto asking for a massage and was delightfully surprised when they responded with a wave of... what could only be described as pure insanity.

Her ads state that she's an escort for the disabled, her massages are guaranteed to eliminate fatigue, and she has been in the business for over a decade. Also, her current age is 24.

I want to assume the wording was mixed up and that she's a disabled escort who is guaranteed to exhaust you mentally. I won't make any public assumptions about her age when she started working.

Oh, her SMS'd price list states "no blowjob tip $50". So, to save a fifty, you are required to get a gummy. Also, a 90-hour massage is $130 (45-minutes is $70). That's a mad discount that you can't say no to!

My SMS was asking for their availability. They replied with a price list and didn't answer my question, so I asked if they were available tonight. I then realised I messaged the wrong number, so I said there was a misunderstanding and apologised. My short messages were relatively straightforward and inoffensive. Uh... Wooooooooooah nelly, was I mistaken!

Below is a copy of the texts that she immediately sent back to me. Enjoy!

Note: The censorship was her, not me. This is a direct cut and paste. I figured she was using speech-to-text translation, and it doesn't like rude words. I also imagine she was yelling at the phone while waving a rolling pin in the air. Unsure why my mind went there...

---
There is something wrong with your IQ. I have sent you a few words to express clearly from what time to how long. If I don't have time, *** you, I will ask again. What time do you arrive and how long do you stay? Is the address and price sent to you? You also come to refute me. I have said that you are suitable for those old women who cheat you money and time. You don't know how to respect others. *** your mother. You still say you are polite. You are so polite that you are blind. Idiot.
---
You are an idiot. I am telling you the time of every paragraph. *** your mother. You are blind. Your ***ing IQ is ***ing retarded? Don't I ask you if I don't read the text? You ask me again and again, you are an ungrateful brute. You come to be scolded at night. You are an idiot. You suck your brain by taking drugs. You are 250. You are an idiot. You don't know how to respect others. Why should others respect you, a retard? You are still happy. How much money do you ***ing give me? I don't take your money for nothing. Every customer I do is working hard.
---
It's none of your mother's business whether I rush or not. Your mother is retarded. Did I waste your precious time? *** you. Did I cheat you for time or money? Your mother forced you to raise you. According to your thinking logic to communicate with others, but also said that I have a communication problem, blind your dog eyes, ***ing you just came out of the hospital, right?
---
You are an idiot, you are retarded, you do not know how to respect people, the person you find will only cheat your money, cheat your time will not eliminate your whole body fatigue, that kind of woman is the most suitable for you, because you do not know how to respect people, you do not know good or bad. You are an idiot. I don't want to waste your precious time. *** you. Forced, the first paragraph asked you what time to do how long? You're a retarded, blind, IQ ***ing idiot, and you ***ing blinded your dog eyes for politeness.
---
You are so angry that you don't need to respect your retarded. You are so peaceful that you are an idiot.
---
Idiots like you are here to be scolded, not to enjoy physical relaxation. You are ***ing blind.*** you. You know that people in different countries express themselves in different ways. Do you think I coax you with sweet words like other cousins? Coax your mother.

 

[Pattaya]

Thanks to having too many browser tabs open, I accidentally texted the wrong number from Locanto asking for a massage and was delightfully surprised when they responded with a wave of... what could only be described as pure insanity.

Her ads state that she's an escort for the disabled, her massages are guaranteed to eliminate fatigue, and she has been in the business for over a decade. Also, her current age is 24.

I want to assume the wording was mixed up and that she's a disabled escort who is guaranteed to exhaust you mentally. I won't make any public assumptions about her age when she started working.

Oh, her SMS'd price list states "no blowjob tip $50". So, to save a fifty, you are required to get a gummy. Also, a 90-hour massage is $130 (45-minutes is $70). That's a mad discount that you can't say no to!

My SMS was asking for their availability. They replied with a price list and didn't answer my question, so I asked if they were available tonight. I then realised I messaged the wrong number, so I said there was a misunderstanding and apologised. My short messages were relatively straightforward and inoffensive. Uh... Wooooooooooah nelly, was I mistaken!

Below is a copy of the texts that she immediately sent back to me. Enjoy!

Note: The censorship was her, not me. This is a direct cut and paste. I figured she was using speech-to-text translation, and it doesn't like rude words. I also imagine she was yelling at the phone while waving a rolling pin in the air. Unsure why my mind went there...

I’m on night shift so that good laugh eliminated my fatigue

 

[johnmatilda]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, thank heavens. Sounds like a nutter.

 

[humdinger]

Pretty sure this is the nutter that watches you shower and tells you what bits you need to clean. Also goes to town with a massage gun on some or does a pedicure on others. Been reviewed on here a few times.