is it OK to think of someone else when having sex.
- Thread starter Onwithit
- Start date
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davis.qu
No, its not ok. If your not loyal with your partner then its ok..
But sometimes it happend coz of excessive thinking of that particular things..
But sometimes it happend coz of excessive thinking of that particular things..
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Fergie
Not ok in my book. You should suggest something to your partner to spice it up in such a way that it will make you cum.
There is a line here though - for example, multiple partners is ok but I feel that your concentration should be on the partner your with at the time, whats going on in your mind at the time affects how you feel and perform, thats why i suggest that you shoudl spice it up.
There is a line here though - for example, multiple partners is ok but I feel that your concentration should be on the partner your with at the time, whats going on in your mind at the time affects how you feel and perform, thats why i suggest that you shoudl spice it up.
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Laura Myer
Hi Onwithit.
What an interesting and honest post!
You are the only person who owns your mind, and the thoughts that fly around within it.
You own your body as well as your own sexuality. No one else does - even our spouse.
This is completely natural to think this way, in order to orgasm. However, it appears that you deeply love and care for your wife as you are worried to not want to hurt her.
Recognise that you do love her, and that you are entering into the world of fantasy within your mind in order to orgasm.
The BEST thing I ever read recently was that:
It's not our business what people think of us!
What other people are thinking, is not our business either!
That is such an empowering phrase. Our thoughts belong to US.
Imagine if we were sitting down at a dining table with - say 8 people. Imagine if we knew all the thoughts flying around in people's minds ("Look at her dress!! He's got a big nose! She just knows everything doesn't she!") Do you think the dinner party would be civil? I'd say there's a bit of acting involved in order to keep a dinner party from blowing up where everyone's not bopping eachother over the head! I guess that's why we are not made to know what another person is thinking. We'd never get through a day otherwise (or a dinner party).
Our thoughts, are our business!
Laura
lauramyer.com (website ready soon)
What an interesting and honest post!
You are the only person who owns your mind, and the thoughts that fly around within it.
You own your body as well as your own sexuality. No one else does - even our spouse.
This is completely natural to think this way, in order to orgasm. However, it appears that you deeply love and care for your wife as you are worried to not want to hurt her.
Recognise that you do love her, and that you are entering into the world of fantasy within your mind in order to orgasm.
The BEST thing I ever read recently was that:
It's not our business what people think of us!
What other people are thinking, is not our business either!
That is such an empowering phrase. Our thoughts belong to US.
Imagine if we were sitting down at a dining table with - say 8 people. Imagine if we knew all the thoughts flying around in people's minds ("Look at her dress!! He's got a big nose! She just knows everything doesn't she!") Do you think the dinner party would be civil? I'd say there's a bit of acting involved in order to keep a dinner party from blowing up where everyone's not bopping eachother over the head! I guess that's why we are not made to know what another person is thinking. We'd never get through a day otherwise (or a dinner party).
Our thoughts, are our business!
Laura
lauramyer.com (website ready soon)
E
Elise Emerald Kitten
4b2b63e479d9ace53292b891a38d094c
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- Points
- 0
Thanks for those replies.
svengali...Ditto, there are people living in glass houses, everywhere.
davis.qu.... I wish I had your will power.
Fergie....20 years ago, I would have said "Not Ok"
but after the years it gets really gets difficult for me.
But she never waivers? always intense, always says "I love you"
Easy just to separate as most of our friends have done & a few have separate bedrooms to sleep in, so that they can play "happy families".
Multiple partners, she said OK, about three times now. And where always talking & planning for the services of another WL's. (Oh! how shameful we are). But it's always a question of acquired disposable income to pay for it.
mandycd.... Got kicked in the goolies for paying more attention to the other woman (WL) boobs. Yep, I'm a boob man. I play "binoculars" when I have 4 boobs hanging over me.
Laura Myer..... Honest posts, that's why I'm on this site, all have been, probably too honest.
I knew a way how to find out what people where thinking, sort of. It was the best way to loose friends until I eventually realized what people think of us, is sometimes not what they always think of us because a persons mind has the ability to reason & change what they think.
ps: I just love this site & the people on it.
svengali...Ditto, there are people living in glass houses, everywhere.
davis.qu.... I wish I had your will power.
Fergie....20 years ago, I would have said "Not Ok"
but after the years it gets really gets difficult for me.
But she never waivers? always intense, always says "I love you"
Easy just to separate as most of our friends have done & a few have separate bedrooms to sleep in, so that they can play "happy families".
Multiple partners, she said OK, about three times now. And where always talking & planning for the services of another WL's. (Oh! how shameful we are). But it's always a question of acquired disposable income to pay for it.
mandycd.... Got kicked in the goolies for paying more attention to the other woman (WL) boobs. Yep, I'm a boob man. I play "binoculars" when I have 4 boobs hanging over me.
Laura Myer..... Honest posts, that's why I'm on this site, all have been, probably too honest.
I knew a way how to find out what people where thinking, sort of. It was the best way to loose friends until I eventually realized what people think of us, is sometimes not what they always think of us because a persons mind has the ability to reason & change what they think.
ps: I just love this site & the people on it.
D
davis.qu
There's nothing wrong with it. There's no way to control it either. Sometimes you just have to fantacize, it's human nature! At least it was only in your mind, you did not act upon the fantasy. My husband had a huge zit on his chin {not terribly attractive}, I made love to the cute guy who changed my tire the other day!
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Hey. davis.qu
Re:"I made love to the cute guy who changed my tire the other day! "
Wouldn't it be great to have an "understanding" with your husband in where he would dress up as another man and for instance, say he was the "tire guy" and vice versa, you would pretend to be & dress up, like some cute chick he may have seen and had wicked thoughts for.
Or, if in the heat of love making, you would let each other call another's name.
I wonder if that would work & if it would last without either getting annoyed.
With me, well, apparently one day I was calling someone else's name in my sleep and my wife asked me the next morning who this girl was and actually, really I had NO idea who it was I was calling out for, when I woke up. I don't think she believed me. And I don't think she would go for the role play.
Oh yes, she'll let me fck whoever as long as she's there with me, kinda weird but I won't ever complain.
Re:"I made love to the cute guy who changed my tire the other day! "
Wouldn't it be great to have an "understanding" with your husband in where he would dress up as another man and for instance, say he was the "tire guy" and vice versa, you would pretend to be & dress up, like some cute chick he may have seen and had wicked thoughts for.
Or, if in the heat of love making, you would let each other call another's name.
I wonder if that would work & if it would last without either getting annoyed.
With me, well, apparently one day I was calling someone else's name in my sleep and my wife asked me the next morning who this girl was and actually, really I had NO idea who it was I was calling out for, when I woke up. I don't think she believed me. And I don't think she would go for the role play.
Oh yes, she'll let me fck whoever as long as she's there with me, kinda weird but I won't ever complain.
F
Fireblade58
Hello Onwithit,
Such a shame we have all these misguided values belted into us by parents, teachers, governments, religions, the woman across the road, etc,,, from the time we are a child and it doesn't stop coming...
I say if you like to be dressed up as another man just do it.. It would be fun and probably get a laugh from your wife.. Who's knows after the ice is broken she may want you to keep doing it. She could be fucking a different man every couple of nights..
Such a shame we have all these misguided values belted into us by parents, teachers, governments, religions, the woman across the road, etc,,, from the time we are a child and it doesn't stop coming...
I say if you like to be dressed up as another man just do it.. It would be fun and probably get a laugh from your wife.. Who's knows after the ice is broken she may want you to keep doing it. She could be fucking a different man every couple of nights..
C
Cathy/Diane87
To onwithit,
My quick opinion would be to try and find something to spice up the relationship, try and go back to when you first meet her and what attracted you to her in the first place and try and find that again... good luck
i hope u find what you are looking for. For both you and your wife.
My quick opinion would be to try and find something to spice up the relationship, try and go back to when you first meet her and what attracted you to her in the first place and try and find that again... good luck
i hope u find what you are looking for. For both you and your wife.
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- 0
HI Diane87..
I did find something to try and spice up the relationship but those cute police drug dogs can smell it a mile away.
Tried "Viagra" but the makers of "Viagra" don't tell you that you still need a Muzzle & a Paper Bag over her head.
Oh, I tried to go back and find that nice cute arse that attracted me to her but the Cottage cheese and big Fat Bum gets in the way when I do it doggy style (best way, if you don't want to look at her wrinkly face) and then I can't find her hole.
The nice firm boobs she used to have are now like mudflaps and you have to wrap around a few times to do Spanish.
LOL, LOL he, ha, ha.
No, but seriously, she's not that bad, we just hire a WL's to give us or me that little extra.
That's why I love this forum & the people on it.
I did find something to try and spice up the relationship but those cute police drug dogs can smell it a mile away.
Tried "Viagra" but the makers of "Viagra" don't tell you that you still need a Muzzle & a Paper Bag over her head.
Oh, I tried to go back and find that nice cute arse that attracted me to her but the Cottage cheese and big Fat Bum gets in the way when I do it doggy style (best way, if you don't want to look at her wrinkly face) and then I can't find her hole.
The nice firm boobs she used to have are now like mudflaps and you have to wrap around a few times to do Spanish.
LOL, LOL he, ha, ha.
No, but seriously, she's not that bad, we just hire a WL's to give us or me that little extra.
That's why I love this forum & the people on it.
B
brittney 44EE
I dont think theres anything wrong with it iv fantasized about a lot of sexy men over the years makes it exciting.:thumbsup:
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- 11
Yes, it is.As long as you can have a wonderful orgasm. xxxxx
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- 224
There are not a lot of things left in this world which are free. The mind is one of them!!!!!!!
If your own sexual performance is enhanced by fantasizing about another woman it will benefit your partner's experience as well.......nothing wrong with it......maybe sharing the fantasy after could be a turn on as well.
R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
If your own sexual performance is enhanced by fantasizing about another woman it will benefit your partner's experience as well.......nothing wrong with it......maybe sharing the fantasy after could be a turn on as well.
R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
J
jason1973
No problem with that??
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Janet
Your questions shows that you feel somewhat guilty thinking about someone else during sex. It is not only ok. More so, it is EXTREMELY COMMON,particularly in long time relations ships. When visiting escorts the memories, lets say inspiration and stimulation of the sexual encounter with a working girl become transferred into the next sexual encounter with ones own long term partner. (Most clients are married or have a long term relation ship, when visiting working girls). This is why escorts are considered "marriage rescuers"! Whatever stimulation helps your sex it is good!
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Cathy/Diane87
Lol onwithit ur funny well hunni i guess if you love her then those things don't really come in to it i mean yes you can notice them but you weigh up the odds on how much you do love her and how much you can just push those things aside lol im think i'm even loosing what i'm trying say lol i hope you get what i mean lol
I
Italian
It's ok! to go out off routine...
it's normal to have fantasies! we are human!
it's normal to have fantasies! we are human!
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Ella De Luca
Of course it's ok!!!! I frequently visit 'that place' in my mind with 'that person' when i just want to cum!!!! The joys of our own wild imaginations and fantasies!!!
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Heidi
yeah its ok to think of other people wen ur having sex...its just weird when you think of people dressed up in tight spandex animal costumes
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frankqld
i's fine,like the nike add says,'just do it' !!!
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Gizelle
Well that depends on how good is the sex it is awesome to think of someone else when you are having sex it feels like you are having sex with 2 guys it is wonderful
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Claudia Michaels
I think it is perfectly normal to require a variety of mental, visual and physical stimulation to make ongoing sex with the one person good and also to want a variety of sexual experiences whether that occurs in the mind or in actuality. I honestly don't think human beings were meant to restrict themselves to one partner sexually for the entirety of their lives and it's not practical to do so because even if you emotionally love your partner doing the same thing day in and day out is bound to get boring.
In terms of thinking of someone else specifically, that is very common and as many have said, you can do whatever you want in your own mind. I am a big fan of the saying "there are no bad thoughts; only bad actions". And the more excited you become the more your partner has a good time. I often think about other particularly amazing sexual encounters or project an amazing encounter onto someone else I'd like to have one with to heighten my experience; indeed when I have an extraordinary sexual encounter I store it up to be revisited.
I think that you should also try to add some spice into the sexual element of the relationship so that both of you can enjoy it to the fullest extent. Share your fantasies; mix things up with toys and costumes; try new things - experiment to find a way of being present with your partner specifically on some occasions. Maybe her physique is impacting your enjoyment of doggie, but maybe her playing with a vibrator would be something that would get you in the moment with her and still get off.
In terms of thinking of someone else specifically, that is very common and as many have said, you can do whatever you want in your own mind. I am a big fan of the saying "there are no bad thoughts; only bad actions". And the more excited you become the more your partner has a good time. I often think about other particularly amazing sexual encounters or project an amazing encounter onto someone else I'd like to have one with to heighten my experience; indeed when I have an extraordinary sexual encounter I store it up to be revisited.
I think that you should also try to add some spice into the sexual element of the relationship so that both of you can enjoy it to the fullest extent. Share your fantasies; mix things up with toys and costumes; try new things - experiment to find a way of being present with your partner specifically on some occasions. Maybe her physique is impacting your enjoyment of doggie, but maybe her playing with a vibrator would be something that would get you in the moment with her and still get off.
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Farm Boy
Its OK but only if you pay both of them
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WRXXR
I'm pretty sure neither Scarlett Johanson or Christina Aguilera want to sleep with me