Domestic violence against women

[Phoebe]

63 Women have died this year so far from the hands of a male partner or male family friend, 3 women so far in NSW have died, What has to be done here? So that this number is like life deaths at work 0 Zero per year.

What a shame that women can't even feel safe at home these days, or being run off the road and beaten to death by a fire hydrant surely men can stop this against women.

What needs to be done here ??

 

[Keryn]

Domestic violence is not new & for far too long we as a nation have not had adequate services, knowledge or understanding to help. We seem to be surprised & outraged by recent incidences highlighted by media but below is a brief part of statistics dating back to 2005.

The vast majority of dangerous, abusive and violent behavior that occurs in the privacy of people's homes is committed by men against women.

• 37.8% of women who experienced physical assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator was a male family member or friend. Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).

• 33.3% of women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.

• 19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of 15.

• 64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1% of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after 45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996

Source: Department of Families, Housing and Community Affairs Fact Sheet 2 Women's Safety.

There is no magic wand for a solution but let's hope with today's announcement of significant funding that we as a nation can work together to help.

 

[westy]

A MAGIC WAND?
Lets start with the Elephant in the room. ALCOHOL ABUSE. A legally available drug that is promoted by multi national companies that Government rakes tax in from. Highest on the list of problem starters. Get off the smokers case ( they mainly just kill themselves ) and start putting serious time,effort,money into lowering the abuse of this substance.

 

[Phoebe]

A MAGIC WAND?
Lets start with the Elephant in the room. ALCOHOL ABUSE. A legally available drug that is promoted by multi national companies that Government rakes tax in from. Highest on the list of problem starters. Get off the smokers case ( they mainly just kill themselves ) and start putting serious time,effort,money into lowering the abuse of this substance.

Well said Westy, I agree totally, Alcohol is the majority of the cases, but the Govt wont ever say that will they they will say former ice addict or current drug addict etc etc but never alcohol... Smoking you are right there, passive smoking is horrible yes but not many die from it, but ALCOHOL is the cause in most cases..

10/10 well said..

 

[Giselle Gold]

Ice is another big reason too

 

[Phoebe]

Why do men want to kill the women in their lives that they claim to love? we all argue but keep it adult, kiss and makeup or be a man and walk away, then men end up crying in courts and feel all remorseful etc, then spend years in a cell surrounded by men.... ironic hey....

 

[GTHO1973]

Its bad stuff - round in the ring with a bloke who can fite back would work I betcha! Cry there puny hearts out and get a taste of their own stuff right back at em

 

[Smoggy]

Domestic violence is totally unacceptable. Statistically by far the greatest level of domestic violence occurs within indigenous families and groups but is the nation ready to deal with that issue?

 

[Phoebe]

I feel for those women in such relationships, it must be hell. What the law makers need to do if they are serious make it an instant life sentence no parole for guys like that guy that killed Tara with a fire hydrant. In the ACT if you murder you get an instant life sentence that's the minimum sentence...

 

[MrBig]

Why is this thread not simply called "Domestic Violence".

I generally prefer to discuss the "Domestic Violence" issues on a one-to-one basis in a face-to-face discussion addressing violence to both women and men. Hence, this will be my one and only contribution to this thread.

When both parties agree to actually listen to both sides of the argument we conclude that it is a much more evenly a two-way problem than most want to believe; mostly fuelled by drugs, alcohol and greed.

The bias that exists in believing that there is so much violence against women I fear would become too evident in this thread; now where's that "ignore thread" button. ( there's no "dislike" button on this post).

 

[Ozrock]

63 Women have died this year so far from the hands of a male partner or male family friend, 3 women so far in NSW have died, What has to be done here? So that this number is like life deaths at work 0 Zero per year.

What a shame that women can't even feel safe at home these days, or being run off the road and beaten to death by a fire hydrant surely men can stop this against women.

What needs to be done here ??

I agree with your concerns Phoebe. Violence against women and all other Domestic Violence ( as pointed out by Mr Little ) is totally unacceptable. I note that the new PM has announced $100 million in funding to combat the problem today. I hope it is targeted in a way that will have an effect. Drugs and alcohol certainly contribute to the problem, but there is no excuse for such behavior. The community as a whole needs to get behind the initiative announced today.

 

[Happy2]

Alcohol and drugs cause untold harm
But isn't the the drug just exaggerating the underlying attitude/problem ?
I mean the underlying causes have to be treated whether it be men or women
Is it the parents engendering it Is it the pop culture I mean listen to some rap songs They use the word respeckt a lot But I don't see much in their lyrics

 

[Ozrock]

Alcohol and drugs cause untold harm
But isn't the the drug just exaggerating the underlying attitude/problem ?
I mean the underlying causes have to be treated whether it be men or women
Is it the parents engendering it Is it the pop culture I mean listen to some rap songs They use the word respeckt a lot But I don't see much in their lyrics

I agree that the underlying problems need to be addressed. I think some of the money announced was going to be for education in schools. However, that will take a while to take effect. A culture of respect for others needs to be addressed by all sections of the community. Until then the supports for those in a Domestic Violence situation need to be increased and those that commit the offences dealt with more effectively.

 

[bepp]

They use the word respeckt

Respeckt?? .
R E S P E C T R E S P E C T
CUM on brudda git ur act 2gether

 

[Happy2]

Respeckt?? .
R E S P E C T R E S P E C T
CUM on brudda git ur act 2gether

"Respeckt" is that better beep?

 

[bepp]

"Respeckt" is that better beep?

Yeah dat'll do

 

[Keryn]

With each generation comes a new set of challenges to add to those already existing factors that are significant contributions to domestic violence. Whether it be environmental, mental health or substance abuse (legal or illicit). High percentages of such violence happens behind closed doors & often at the hands of those least suspected. The victims become adept at hiding from everyday life whether from embarrassment or other reasons.

Since the announcement of additional funding yesterday I have heard several commentators & employees from resources in Canberra for violence express concern that the funding is a start but many are sceptical. On interviewee went on to say refuges in the region have experienced recent funding cuts & many organisations including legal services are still unsure if they can continue to grow without long term funding.

Many often question why women do not seek help or follow through with legal precautions such as DVO or leaving an unstable home environment. If as a society we do not remove the stigma of violence & have the infrastructure to support those in need from start to finish then I fear the all too frequent media reports we are seeing daily will only increase.

 

[homer]

Domestic Violence Anonymous maybe? Stop the abusive behaviour and start respecting the very person your closest to.

 

[markeys]

What needs to be done here ??

First off domestic violence/violence needs to be broadly recognized as a problem and not a "woman's problem" or a problem owned by women

plenty of people gay lesbian and men with penis's are subject to domestic violence,
many men are driven to suicide due to domestic issues upon them both physical and mental, men are generally laughed at by courts and cops for claiming assault.

 

[GTHO1973]

Violence against women is wrong, but voilence against children and men too is just as bad . Voilence itself as a replacement of not being able to talk and get a point across, to know how to deal with situations - fists are used as a replacement for lots these days. 1 punch kills are becoming the norm - read the paper!!
That old saying that ends in 'kicks the dog' is true - voilence gets passed down the line. Deal with the issues not the outcomes. Else like having an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff stead of the barrier on edge of road.

 

[Sharaz]

Unfortunately domestic violence has been around forever, it just never used to spoken about as Women didn't have the facilities available to them as we do now and still its not enough!
Domestic violence is inexcusable against any man women or child!

 

[Buk]

Unfortunately domestic violence has been around forever, it just never used to spoken about as Women didn't have the facilities available to them as we do now and still its not enough!
Domestic violence is inexcusable against any man women or child!

I could not agree more. I think men who have to threaten women with violence, mentally and physically, are lacking a significant amount of self esteem, confidence and GUTS. Hey, I've been involved in some serious verbal confrontations in the past with a couple of ladies ( and been given back as good as I've dished out) but never have I or would I
give a physical threat. I personally don't understand this power thing. Me? In one situation I asked her what she wanted now relationship had ended after some 5 years and we came to an agreement. Mind you,I still think the dickhead she went to deserved her.....I think I dodged a bullet.

 

[TopGun]

Magic wand I hear you say?? I'd start with education.

I think Men are inferior to females in general. Women have had the burden of physical and mental abuse from males for hundred of years and it's about time something meaningful was done.

 

[Kylie Middleton]

I think in a lot of cases it's a lack of communication skills. People (both men and women) carry around anger and don't know how to express it so they resort to violence. If people were helped to deal with their anger they'd be less likely to abuse drugs as well as better at conflict resolution.

 

[MrBig]

I really wish this thread had been more openly titled "Domestic Violence".

 

[Happy2]

I see where your coming from Mr Little but I believe all fair minded people will read this and come to the conclusion all domestic violence is wrong no matter who perpetrates it Male or female

I know I am a different generation to many Especially the ladies on here ( Roche and Cyclone being exceptions God their old Though young of heart ) But my Father was a spare the rod spoil the child man I still remember something he said to me at about 13 or 14

"You ever hit a woman and I will give you a hiding like you've never felt in your life "

But he had already brought me up well enough to never have had to worry about saying what he did

Though I believe tact may have been one lesson he did not pass on

 

[Morocco722]

Many people dont realize they are abusing their partners - its not just hitting, threatening or insults it can be far more insidious and subtle but abuse nonetheless. Not doing your share of the work, preventing your partner from doing things or going out without you are all warning signs (to me) that maybe someone is no longer thinking in terms of making the whole (relationship) greater than the sum of its parts. All IMHO and no offence to any forumer intended. I know a bloke who doesnt lift a finger when he gets home. His wife works, takes their kids to all outings, cooks, cleans, shops, does everything for the kids. IF he ever goes on an outing with them they complain because obviously doesnt want to be there and spoils the activity. Yes- violence is abhorrent, but so too is 10 years of having your soul crushed by someone who forgot for their own convenience that they should be lifting you up, not dragging you down. Again, more often than not its the women who get the shitty end of the stick.

 

[Morocco722]

Phoebe asked what is to be done? Kelly hit the nail on the head - communicate. Start with yourself. That chat we had yesterday - would i be uncomfortable if i said those words to him/her in front of friends, family or kids. Do i encourage him/her to be free or do i try and restrict their activities out of fear they will enjoy doing something (or someone lol) without me. Does only one of you control the money?
Once you have yourself sorted be bloody careful about sticking your nose into other peoples affairs, and thats the real crux of the problem. Not saying something because of this taboo is one of our big cultural blind spots. Like i said many people arent aware that they are abusing their partner and opening their eyes will put you in the cross hairs but i think making people aware of bad behavior early is going to save a lot of suffering and might stop bad behavior before it becomes entrenched or escalates into violence. Every situation is different and its a minefield that will lose us friends but we cant keep silent and not call the people we know out for bad behavior. In the case of abuse and violence, silence is the same as acceptance. What you see and dont like in public could be only a fraction of whats going on in private. Call it out before the compounding factors of drugs booze stress and money get a look in.

 

[Kylie Middleton]

I think that to some degree what is considered abuse is also subjective. Obviously repeated physical violence is never okay and neither is verbal assault but i had a boyfriend years ago who slapped me once after a massive argument. It wasn't right but I wouldn't consider it abuse; just frustration that he dealt with poorly. I let my current partner control most of our finances not because he has control issues or because I'm incapable of it but because he's a lot more organised than me and has a lot more practice making sure that bills are paid on time. I also agree to have sex with him when I'm not necessarily in the mood because I know how important sex is in maintaining the health of our relationship. All those things would be totally unacceptable in some relationships but work fine for me.

 

[Morocco722]

100% agree with you Kelly. Its pretty hard to know what is acceptable to others. Its all very well for me to stick on my rose coloured glasses and tell a bunch of strangers on this forum how i think the world should be
I know a couple who appear to be together purely for the joy they seem to get from arguing with each other all day every day.