Cheating - Why a Sex Worker Is the Safer Option Than a Random Affair

[Fleur Delacour]

If It Happens: Why a Sex Worker Is the Safer Option Than a Random Affair

Cheating is rarely part of the plan. It happens in moments of disconnection, curiosity, poor communication, or unmet needs — and while it’s not something most people want to hurt their partner with, the reality is that it does happen. When it does, the how matters more than people realise.

From a harm-reduction perspective, there’s a significant difference between an impulsive encounter with a random person and a deliberate booking with a sex worker.

A sex worker offers clarity.
There are no blurred intentions, no emotional confusion, no “what does this mean?” aftermath. The exchange is transparent, contained, and professional. There’s no pretending it’s something more than it is — and that alone dramatically reduces emotional fallout.

Sex workers also prioritise sexual health and safety. Regular testing, condom use, boundaries, and hygiene are standard practice — not assumptions. Random hookups often involve unknown sexual health histories, alcohol-fuelled decisions, and far less consistency around protection. From a purely practical standpoint, the risk profile is not the same.

Emotionally, a sex worker does not seek attachment, validation, or future contact. There’s no risk of ongoing messaging, emotional entanglement, jealousy, or a secret relationship that grows legs of its own. Affairs with “someone from the street” often spiral precisely because feelings, secrecy, and ego get involved.

There’s also the element of discretion and respect. A professional understands confidentiality. They are not going to show up unexpectedly, reach out to your partner, or insert themselves into your personal life. The interaction has a beginning, a middle, and a clear end.

None of this makes cheating right. But if someone is going to step outside their relationship, the least harmful option is one that is controlled, safe, non-emotional, and contained. Sex work exists precisely because it separates intimacy from chaos.

In many cases, people who choose sex workers aren’t looking to replace their partner — they’re looking to explore desire without destroying their entire life in the process. And while honesty and communication are always the healthier path, reality doesn’t always unfold that neatly.

When viewed honestly, a sex worker isn’t the risky choice —
the risk is unplanned intimacy with someone who has expectations, emotions, and unknown boundaries.

If harm reduction matters, professionalism matters.
And that’s exactly what a sex worker provides.

 

[Shazaam]

Apparently you're less likely to get a disease from a sex worker as they are less likely to have unprotected sex. Although this may not be the case in the state of Western Australia as sex work is not regulated in Western Australia. Sex work not being regulated means their is no education on sex work for sex workers or is sex worker registered for tax purposes I dunno. Do sex workers where sex work is regulated receive education on safe sex to become a sex worker? I have heard in Canberra they put a condom on and have sex through a hole in an apron if you see a sex worker.

 

[Celeste_SJ]

There are some couples who have a negotiated relationship where there is no cheating however visits to sex workers are a part of their negotiated fidelity agreement.

 

[thisisaname]

I made it clear to my wife extremely early in our relationship that I couldn't not have interactions with others without going insane.

The deal is, nobody in our home and no girlfriends, but she gave me a couple hundred bucks to go and get a massage for my birthday one year.

As a general rule I stick to hands for health reasons.

So my situation isn't really cheating. But everything Fleur said really resonates with me. No strings, no emotional connections, safe practices, self contained experiences. if you are going to step outside your at home situation it's not a bad way to go.

 

[Tania Smiley]

Apparently you're less likely to get a disease from a sex worker as they are less likely to have unprotected sex. Although this may not be the case in the state of Western Australia as sex work is not regulated in Western Australia. Sex work not being regulated means their is no education on sex work for sex workers or is sex worker registered for tax purposes I dunno. Do sex workers where sex work is regulated receive education on safe sex to become a sex worker? I have heard in Canberra they put a condom on and have sex through a hole in an apron if you see a sex worker.

Yes sex workers are educated in stds and what to look for. Yes they pay tax.
You've been on here long enough to know this as a fact and to know your Canberra comment is rubbish

 

[OMGIlovenudity]

Why do we care what everyone else is doing?
If a guy is cheating on his wife, who cares? If a wife is cheating on her husband, who cares? Surely it is their own affairs....

 

[Shazaam]

There are some couples who have a negotiated relationship where there is no cheating however visits to sex workers are a part of their negotiated fidelity agreement.

Apparently with gay men 3 somes are common. Also open relationships where you can still see whoever you want is common with gay men.

 

[Master Yoda]

Look, the logic isn’t wrong. If you’re determined to set a fire, it’s obviously safer to do it in a controlled pit than to toss a match into a dry forest. I get that.
Strictly speaking, a professional booking is safer than a messy, drunken hookup. The boundaries are clear, the testing is usually better, and you don’t have to worry about a stranger falling in love with you.

But let’s stop pretending that "managing the risk" is the same thing as fixing the problem.
The real danger in cheating isn't usually the logistical stuff—it’s the mental split. Even if you book the most professional, discreet encounter in the world, you still have to go home and look your partner in the eye. That’s where the damage lives. It’s the constant, low-grade anxiety of maintaining a cover story. It’s the energy you’re siphoning off from your actual life to keep the secret life breathing.

You can hide the transaction, but you can’t hide the distance it creates.

If you’re at the stage where you’re legally researching "safest ways to cheat," the red light is already flashing on the dashboard. It means something at home is starving.

By all means, acknowledge that sex workers are often the most professional people in the room—they are. But don’t trick yourself into thinking that because the sex is safe, the betrayal is safe. It’s not.

The only way to actually reduce the harm is to do the terrifying thing: Speak up. Ask for what you need. Or leave.

Everything else is just buying time while the foundation rots.

 

[Slugger1]

I made it clear to my wife extremely early in our relationship that I couldn't not have interactions with others without going insane.

The deal is, nobody in our home and no girlfriends, but she gave me a couple hundred bucks to go and get a massage for my birthday one year.

As a general rule I stick to hands for health reasons.

So my situation isn't really cheating. But everything Fleur said really resonates with me. No strings, no emotional connections, safe practices, self contained experiences. if you are going to step outside your at home situation it's not a bad way to go.

That is a mature way to go about it if the relationship can support it.

Unfortunately when both are not on the same page problems will occur if discretion is not used.

Some of the longer members on here may remember a disgruntled wife of a punter causing a lot of problems for an AMP that advertises on here.

So it can affect the workers as well.

 

[Fleur Delacour]

Apparently you're less likely to get a disease from a sex worker as they are less likely to have unprotected sex. Although this may not be the case in the state of Western Australia as sex work is not regulated in Western Australia. Sex work not being regulated means their is no education on sex work for sex workers or is sex worker registered for tax purposes I dunno. Do sex workers where sex work is regulated receive education on safe sex to become a sex worker? I have heard in Canberra they put a condom on and have sex through a hole in an apron if you see a sex worker.

haha ohh dear - canberra doesnt sound like any fun, i have never heard of that and i assume thats more chinese whispers... canberra is pretty lax with the sex industry - for example - filming porn outdoors is legal... I have only just started working in Perth, but I previously worked in Melbourne and was registered. As far as I am aware there is no sexual education attached to registration - registration is not regulated either - it is my understanding that registration is more for the Vic government to keep a track of how many sex professionals there are and to create a bit of false security - also to deter people from street walking - which still happens in st Kilda. Being registered - doesnt mean that girls need to declare - for who would actually know how many clients a girl saw - they usually only declare if they need the money recorded for future loans or similar.

All brothels should record workers health checks every 3 months... health checks usually only consist of a blood test which tests all the major sexual diseases. Some girls - including myself go to a GP for thier health checks and go more frequently. At a GP a girl can request more tests - including bacterial - which is also important. A GP will also do a visual exam and swabs. I choose to do this - because my personal health is so important.

Because a working girls sexual health is so important - most girls are also hyper vigilent in thier personal sexual lives as well.

 

[Fleur Delacour]

There are some couples who have a negotiated relationship where there is no cheating however visits to sex workers are a part of their negotiated fidelity agreement.

Yes I have had alot of clients in the past who have shared that they are open to thier partner. I have also worked alot with couple after which the female had allowed thier partner to book me on thier own as they felt secure with me. I have had feedback that it helped thier relationship and developed more sexual understanding and appreciation of each other.

 

[Fleur Delacour]

I made it clear to my wife extremely early in our relationship that I couldn't not have interactions with others without going insane.

The deal is, nobody in our home and no girlfriends, but she gave me a couple hundred bucks to go and get a massage for my birthday one year.

As a general rule I stick to hands for health reasons.

So my situation isn't really cheating. But everything Fleur said really resonates with me. No strings, no emotional connections, safe practices, self contained experiences. if you are going to step outside your at home situation it's not a bad way to go.

It sounds like you have a really healthy relationship and its great that you have been able to communicate with your partner in such a way- and that she was so receptive - very rare indeed!

 

[Fleur Delacour]

Look, the logic isn’t wrong. If you’re determined to set a fire, it’s obviously safer to do it in a controlled pit than to toss a match into a dry forest. I get that.
Strictly speaking, a professional booking is safer than a messy, drunken hookup. The boundaries are clear, the testing is usually better, and you don’t have to worry about a stranger falling in love with you.

But let’s stop pretending that "managing the risk" is the same thing as fixing the problem.
The real danger in cheating isn't usually the logistical stuff—it’s the mental split. Even if you book the most professional, discreet encounter in the world, you still have to go home and look your partner in the eye. That’s where the damage lives. It’s the constant, low-grade anxiety of maintaining a cover story. It’s the energy you’re siphoning off from your actual life to keep the secret life breathing.

You can hide the transaction, but you can’t hide the distance it creates.

If you’re at the stage where you’re legally researching "safest ways to cheat," the red light is already flashing on the dashboard. It means something at home is starving.

By all means, acknowledge that sex workers are often the most professional people in the room—they are. But don’t trick yourself into thinking that because the sex is safe, the betrayal is safe. It’s not.

The only way to actually reduce the harm is to do the terrifying thing: Speak up. Ask for what you need. Or leave.

Everything else is just buying time while the foundation rots.

exactly - thats why i felt it was a important and interesting post to write - and why i started it with this "Cheating is rarely part of the plan. It happens in moments of disconnection, curiosity, poor communication, or unmet needs — and while it’s not something most people want to hurt their partner with, the reality is that it does happen. When it does, the how matters more than people realise."

im not condoning cheating - im a professional - whether your cheating or not - i really dont care - but i feel so many men loose thier heads a little when they arent happy in relationships - for what ever reason - and in those moments - if your going to do it - a sex worker is a so much safer option! xx