Calorie Count for Sexual Activities

[Ishihara]

Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...


Removal of Clothing
With partner's consent... 12 calories
Without partner's consent... 187 calories

The Unhooking of a bra
Using two calm hands... 7 calories
Using one trembling hand... 36 calories

Getting into Bed
Lifting partner... 1.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
Using skateboard... 3 calories

Achieving Erections
For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
Losing erection... 14 calories
Searching for it... 115 calories

Putting on the Condom
With erection... 1.5 calories
Without erection... 300 calories

Inserting a Diaphragm
If the woman who does it is:
Experienced... 6 calories
Inexperienced... 73 calories

If a man does it... 650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.

Possible Intercourse side effects
Bouncing... 7 calories
Sliding around... 9 calories
Serious skidding... 12 calories
Whiplash... 27 calories

Orgasm
Real... 27 calories
Faked... 160 calories

Orgasmic Intensity Scale
Shoes flew off... 35 calories
Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories
Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
Birds sang:
Large birds... 7 calories
Small birds... 3 calories
Earth moved... 30 calories

Pulling out
After orgasm... 0.5 calories
A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories

Penis Envy
For woman... 3 calories
For men... 72 calories

Guilt
Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories

Aggravation
Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories

Getting Caught
By partner's spouse... 60 calories
By your spouse... 100 calories
Trying to explain... 55 calories
Trying to remain calm... 100 calories
Leaping out of bed... 75 calories
Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories

Note: This document in no way guarantees that one would lose the stated amount of calories as it is dependent on the individual ;D

 

[msmagdelena]

Not to mention the health benefits of having sex 4 times / week takes 10 years off your life.

So double it & go for 20years

 

[homer]

boy that is too much hard work....gimme beeerrrr....dufffff.....

 

[Demon]

Do I need to know this? Get on with it and to heck with the calories lost, or not.

 

[Happy2]

Do I need to know this? Get on with it and to heck with the calories lost, or not.

Totally with you on that Demon Any way last thing I need is to lose weight
Now if A current affair or similar do a story on sex making your grow back then I may well be interested

 

[wingman]

Do I need to know this? Get on with it and to heck with the calories lost, or not.

I think you're missing the point. It's not real calories, its an attempt at humor. Not a very good one, but still.

 

[JasRob]

Not to mention the health benefits of having sex 4 times / week takes 10 years off your life.

So double it & go for 20years

i want to triple it!!!!LOL!! that's good news for me!LMFAO

 

[Happy2]

i want to triple it!!!!LOL!! that's good news for me!LMFAO

JasRob if it adds sixty years You can be sure Wayne Swan will find a way to tax it Use the old Fringe Benefit Tax Maybe

 

[Demon]

I think you're missing the point. It's not real calories, its an attempt at humor. Not a very good one, but still.

I was also being humorous. I loved it.

 

[westy]

Not to mention the health benefits of having sex 4 times / week takes 10 years off your life.

So double it & go for 20years

OMG when I first read this I figured I was going to die much younger than I thought LOL. Upon closer inspection I think I now look 30 years younger than my actual age. So with great relief I am now only looking 15 and should be banned.

 

[Saige]

come on you have to admit that if you doing it several times a day with energy and vigour..it is bloody good exercise....maybe I could jump on the workout video band wagon...SAIGES WORKOUT SEX TAPE?????

See look how hard I am working....

 

[Demon]

come on you have to admit that if you doing it several times a day with energy and vigour..it is bloody good exercise....maybe I could jump on the workout video band wagon...SAIGES WORKOUT SEX TAPE?????

See look how hard I am working....

I am getting a workout, just reading you, looking at pic, and imagining with you :la::la::la: