Leah-Louisa
Silver Member
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Basic intimate services etiquette
Turns out I’m a bit wordy.... the short version is at the bottom, the major W’s are addressed first.
I have spent more years than some of you have been alive popping in and out of the intimate services industry in its many variations. From receptionist to well... the lot, each time is more enlightening than the last and I’ve learned a great many things over the years by experimentation and observation.
However It had become clear that society and social propriety has clouded a lot of people’s concepts of what’s an acceptable way to go about engaging an intimate service provider so I’d like to clear a few things up for you. The purpose is not to belittle or degrade you or your ways, but to educate and help you get in to see that person who has piqued your interest online.
Media has presented sex work as dirty, as something to be hidden and secretive and many of your situations would make some secrecy necessary. Media has also presented sex work as something that no sane person would consider doing if their life weren’t in the gutter with a habit to support, or they were being forced to do this. THIS IS NOT THE CASE.
(With the exception of actual victims of sex slavery trading who need to be saved not condemned-but that’s a different topic for another time and audience)
The reality of intimate service providers is that the vast majority of us choose to be here because we like it, were good at it, and the money isn’t shit! It’s as I get older and my vast well of experience deepens that I am able to enjoy it more and more. To be honest that comes from 2 distinctly different places within me. I’m in my 40’s and that’s a beautiful age for women because we have had the time to get to love ourselves, and especially our bodies. Young people are put under so much pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way and if they don’t feel they measure up that can have a devastating toll. Whereas if you’re a woman over 40 chances are you’ve learned some life lessons that amount to zero fucks in regards to someone else’s opinion on your look, shape and style. The other thing that I’ve gained is the ability to say no, without guilt, remorse or regard to the situation. If a behaviour, word or attitude doesn’t sit will with me I choose not to engage or participate.
As a human I have the right to say no whenever I am uncomfortable, I actively exercise that right and in most cases it’s due to someone’s initial words. I have no problem saying NO to every further communication from you if your first words regardless if written or spoken are rude, disrespectful, meant to degrade or belittle. There is no reason why you need to be vile to any person who you’re hoping will touch your rude bits.
Initial communication is very different to bedroom talk where almost anything goes with payment and permission.
It’s an unfortunate thing when pretend porn is where young men get their concept of how to introduce genital contact with a new person, but When you begin with “how much to suck me cock love” (jeez I know I’m going to get a bunch of these now - but for fuck sake be amusing if you must a dickhead) it says more about who you are and your attitude towards what you’re doing and how you view sex workers in general.
And as far as texting goes- stop it, unless you already know the person or they specifically request in their ad. Regardless of what you think, it is ultimately the worker who chooses you. And nothing beats the ability to have a conversation with someone, in my opinion. Personally I’ll choose to spend my time, energy and attention with someone who is at a most basic level respectful.
If you’ve found yourself being ignored blocked or turned down after your first sentence to a worker, perhaps take a moment to review your actions before responding with words you think will hurt, because at that level we find your insults proof we made the right choice.
These introductions are never the time to ask for discount. In fact if a workers price doesn’t reflect your budget your next words should be “thank you for your time, that’s more than I planned on spending today” (look what I did there, open honest respectful communication is possible even when you’re turning someone down). In fact do not ask for discounts for any reason, it’s not your place!! I base my rates (which are at the higher end of the average for my state) on my level of experience, the inclusion of things that some consider extra (don’t call to find out what they are, they are different for everyone) my abilities and the inclusion of added touches to complete the experience. How I get to the final figure which doesn’t change by the way, is none of your business.
Do not ask for natural services, especially during an initial conversation. Sex work is legal in parts of Australia, yet in others not yet decriminalised. Any in others still, while sex work is legal, natural services are not. Know your shit and state laws prior to asking stupid questions that may get the workers ass a criminal record if an officer was to ask the same question in your state. You don’t know the situation a worker is in and someone may be funding their way through a law degree and a criminal record would mess them up for life. Our decision to entertain you for an hour shouldn’t come with a lifetime of regret. understand that we are people too with goals and plans and this might just be a stepping stone to an alternate path for someone.
Be open and honest with your provider, yes I’m aware that this entire industry has a veil of secrecy over it. That’s in large part because even the ones who have loved the industry for a good part of their lives (like me) still have people that are either too young or parental to fully understand why we do it. I make a point of openly asking when we meet “so what do you like, what gets you going, what turns you off” and a few other questions that allow me to create an experience that is memorable satisfying and won’t trigger any trauma. The answer I mostly receive is “oh the normal stuff”. People are so vastly different that one persons normal could be missionary position while another person needs to be smeared in smooth peanut butter while having their left (and only their left) elbow licked. So the questions I ask are not simply to delay things but to find out how to enrich the experience for both of us. If you aren’t honest I’m this area you are leaving with a dry left elbow and not quite happy. We are a vast well of sexual experience if there’s something you want to try, ASK. If they’ve not done it before yet you’ve been able to build a level of understanding between you ASK if they’d be open to some peanut butter and then between you both discuss the option of smooth or crunchy because When it comes to taste, everyone’s is different. I’m aware I’m not to everyone’s taste and that’s fine. BUT you never know what surprises are in store for you if you don’t open the arched window.
I think I’ve covered the most important topics and I genuinely wish you all, worker and client the very best in your search for the person who tickles your happy place just the way you like.
As promised the short version:
Be polite and respectful
Call, don’t hide behind a text (unless they ask for text communication- I can’t stand it)
Accept no gracefully
Do not ask for discounts
Be open and honest
Cancellations are sometimes necessary but a courtesy call or text will ensure you’ll be spoken to the next time you call.
This is another reason time wasters get blocked and a bad reputation within the industry- yep we talk.
Thank you for spending a few minutes with me on this you’ve reached the end and you have earned yourself a gold star and an elbow licking. Just joking that’s a paid service.
Turns out I’m a bit wordy.... the short version is at the bottom, the major W’s are addressed first.
I have spent more years than some of you have been alive popping in and out of the intimate services industry in its many variations. From receptionist to well... the lot, each time is more enlightening than the last and I’ve learned a great many things over the years by experimentation and observation.
However It had become clear that society and social propriety has clouded a lot of people’s concepts of what’s an acceptable way to go about engaging an intimate service provider so I’d like to clear a few things up for you. The purpose is not to belittle or degrade you or your ways, but to educate and help you get in to see that person who has piqued your interest online.
Media has presented sex work as dirty, as something to be hidden and secretive and many of your situations would make some secrecy necessary. Media has also presented sex work as something that no sane person would consider doing if their life weren’t in the gutter with a habit to support, or they were being forced to do this. THIS IS NOT THE CASE.
(With the exception of actual victims of sex slavery trading who need to be saved not condemned-but that’s a different topic for another time and audience)
The reality of intimate service providers is that the vast majority of us choose to be here because we like it, were good at it, and the money isn’t shit! It’s as I get older and my vast well of experience deepens that I am able to enjoy it more and more. To be honest that comes from 2 distinctly different places within me. I’m in my 40’s and that’s a beautiful age for women because we have had the time to get to love ourselves, and especially our bodies. Young people are put under so much pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way and if they don’t feel they measure up that can have a devastating toll. Whereas if you’re a woman over 40 chances are you’ve learned some life lessons that amount to zero fucks in regards to someone else’s opinion on your look, shape and style. The other thing that I’ve gained is the ability to say no, without guilt, remorse or regard to the situation. If a behaviour, word or attitude doesn’t sit will with me I choose not to engage or participate.
As a human I have the right to say no whenever I am uncomfortable, I actively exercise that right and in most cases it’s due to someone’s initial words. I have no problem saying NO to every further communication from you if your first words regardless if written or spoken are rude, disrespectful, meant to degrade or belittle. There is no reason why you need to be vile to any person who you’re hoping will touch your rude bits.
Initial communication is very different to bedroom talk where almost anything goes with payment and permission.
It’s an unfortunate thing when pretend porn is where young men get their concept of how to introduce genital contact with a new person, but When you begin with “how much to suck me cock love” (jeez I know I’m going to get a bunch of these now - but for fuck sake be amusing if you must a dickhead) it says more about who you are and your attitude towards what you’re doing and how you view sex workers in general.
And as far as texting goes- stop it, unless you already know the person or they specifically request in their ad. Regardless of what you think, it is ultimately the worker who chooses you. And nothing beats the ability to have a conversation with someone, in my opinion. Personally I’ll choose to spend my time, energy and attention with someone who is at a most basic level respectful.
If you’ve found yourself being ignored blocked or turned down after your first sentence to a worker, perhaps take a moment to review your actions before responding with words you think will hurt, because at that level we find your insults proof we made the right choice.
These introductions are never the time to ask for discount. In fact if a workers price doesn’t reflect your budget your next words should be “thank you for your time, that’s more than I planned on spending today” (look what I did there, open honest respectful communication is possible even when you’re turning someone down). In fact do not ask for discounts for any reason, it’s not your place!! I base my rates (which are at the higher end of the average for my state) on my level of experience, the inclusion of things that some consider extra (don’t call to find out what they are, they are different for everyone) my abilities and the inclusion of added touches to complete the experience. How I get to the final figure which doesn’t change by the way, is none of your business.
Do not ask for natural services, especially during an initial conversation. Sex work is legal in parts of Australia, yet in others not yet decriminalised. Any in others still, while sex work is legal, natural services are not. Know your shit and state laws prior to asking stupid questions that may get the workers ass a criminal record if an officer was to ask the same question in your state. You don’t know the situation a worker is in and someone may be funding their way through a law degree and a criminal record would mess them up for life. Our decision to entertain you for an hour shouldn’t come with a lifetime of regret. understand that we are people too with goals and plans and this might just be a stepping stone to an alternate path for someone.
Be open and honest with your provider, yes I’m aware that this entire industry has a veil of secrecy over it. That’s in large part because even the ones who have loved the industry for a good part of their lives (like me) still have people that are either too young or parental to fully understand why we do it. I make a point of openly asking when we meet “so what do you like, what gets you going, what turns you off” and a few other questions that allow me to create an experience that is memorable satisfying and won’t trigger any trauma. The answer I mostly receive is “oh the normal stuff”. People are so vastly different that one persons normal could be missionary position while another person needs to be smeared in smooth peanut butter while having their left (and only their left) elbow licked. So the questions I ask are not simply to delay things but to find out how to enrich the experience for both of us. If you aren’t honest I’m this area you are leaving with a dry left elbow and not quite happy. We are a vast well of sexual experience if there’s something you want to try, ASK. If they’ve not done it before yet you’ve been able to build a level of understanding between you ASK if they’d be open to some peanut butter and then between you both discuss the option of smooth or crunchy because When it comes to taste, everyone’s is different. I’m aware I’m not to everyone’s taste and that’s fine. BUT you never know what surprises are in store for you if you don’t open the arched window.
I think I’ve covered the most important topics and I genuinely wish you all, worker and client the very best in your search for the person who tickles your happy place just the way you like.
As promised the short version:
Be polite and respectful
Call, don’t hide behind a text (unless they ask for text communication- I can’t stand it)
Accept no gracefully
Do not ask for discounts
Be open and honest
Cancellations are sometimes necessary but a courtesy call or text will ensure you’ll be spoken to the next time you call.
This is another reason time wasters get blocked and a bad reputation within the industry- yep we talk.
Thank you for spending a few minutes with me on this you’ve reached the end and you have earned yourself a gold star and an elbow licking. Just joking that’s a paid service.
Yup that's why the world is a bag of mixed lollies.
